End stage decline .. again

[Linbrusco]

Mum has been in end stage Alzheimers since end of last year, losing all mobility, pretty much incoherent except for the odd word or two, on pureed foods, sleeping ( or awake with eyes closed) 23 hrs a day, but she will be crossing and uncrossing her legs, fiddling with her blanket or soft toy.

She was moved from dementia to hospital level care.
Beginning of this year she really was in a bad way and seemed to be touch and go, but from March she seemed to pick up.
More alert, sleeping less, engaging with you, even if it was just a smile. She even started putting a bit of weight on.

Last two weeks, back to how she was earlier this year.
Yesterday I visited for an hour. Despite being awake and playing with her soft toy, her eyes shut, no response to me calling her name or Mum, or by her nickname, and also no response to me holding her hand. I always have cold hands and have to warm them up first, as she will show a grimace on her face and pull her hands away.
I didnt warm them, but this time no reaction.

Dr comes along, says Hello to her, and she instantly opens her eyes, gives him the biggest smile, mutters something incoherently, he checks her temp. pulse, chest, BP.
All good.
Minute he leaves, Mums back to eyes shut again.

They are going to put her on a drip overnight for 2 nights, as although she is drinking Fortasip, and no obvious signs of dehydration, they want to see if her condition improves any.
I know a drip is not long term, but would appreciate any comments if you have been at a similar stage.

thanks

 

[canary]

Oh Lin, I am so sorry that you are back in this place. I hated that roller coaster.

When mum got to the end (having previously been told three times that she would not recover and then bouncing back again) she was put on a drip to rehydrate her, but when it became obvious that it did not improve anything I spoke to the care home doctor and requested that she should be allowed to let nature take its course. The doctor agreed and mum was placed on palliative care so that she could pass away peacefully - which is what happened.

I gave a wry smile when you described the meeting with the doctor. Isnt it amazing that they can still go into Hostess Mode, even at that late stage?

 

[Linbrusco]

Many thanks @canary
for your advice. I must say, going on now 5-6yrs of TP I always appreciate you finding time to reply
I feel like I am in limbo
Wanting Mum to be out of this mere “existance” but then again with Dad having dementia, I feel totally selfish in thinking of him going before Mum, as I would rather grieve the loss of Mum, without having then to cope with Dad.
Truly awful

 

[Moose1966]

Many thanks @canary
for your advice. I must say, going on now 5-6yrs of TP I always appreciate you finding time to reply
I feel like I am in limbo
Wanting Mum to be out of this mere “existance” but then again with Dad having dementia, I feel totally selfish in thinking of him going before Mum, as I would rather grieve the loss of Mum, without having then to cope with Dad.
Truly awful

Hi , so sorry that you are back in the bad zone as I call it now , I know exactly how your feeling and yes agree they still have that host ability that kicks in when they hear another voice . Mum saves all her low times for me I’m sure and yet when NH girls talk to her she will smile . Sent to test us but the love never goes ❤️

 

[canary]

I feel totally selfish in thinking of him going before Mum, as I would rather grieve the loss of Mum, without having then to cope with Dad

No, thats not selfish. I quite understand.
Im still caring for OH and I havnt had time to truly grieve for mum