TIPPING POINT

Dutchman

Registered User
May 26, 2017
2,348
0
76
Devon, Totnes
I’ve cleaned my teeth she says. How I say as you haven’t used any water. Yes. That’s all she keeps saying

Should I be grateful at all? No washing of hair or body. Clean underwear on today. Result! It’s like living with a 4 year old only without the cuteness
 

PalSal

Registered User
Dec 4, 2011
972
0
Pratteln Switzerland
As I've contributed to this thread and exchanged posts with many of you on various threads I just thought I'd say goodbye to you all and wish you all the best as I am leaving the forum to concentrate on my own caring role. I hope that you can all find, at the very least, some moments of relief and normality in the future. However, when you shed a tear know that you are not alone.

I have asked for closure of my membership so I hope you see this goodbye before it's deleted.

Regards
Pete:)
@Karaoke Pete....really sorry to hear that. Thank you for all your service to the Talking Point. Can you not just stay a member and not be a moderator? Just one among many? You did service...let someone else take over. Wishing you all the best, in your focus as carer. We will miss you all the best.
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
808
0
Hi Pete
Thank you for all your advice over the months I have been on the forum. You will be missed, wishing you well in your caring role.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,195
0
Nottinghamshire
Hi Pete,
Sorry to see you go, you've been so supportive of everyone else, I hope you have the support you need too as you go forward. I
 

Tea and. toast

Registered User
May 8, 2019
67
0
Hello Karaoke Pete, just a note to say thank you for your welcome and information when I joined the forum. I have found your posts a great help. Wishing you well.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,534
0
N Ireland
Thanks everyone. Your replies are humbling.

I had always hoped that I was doing some good somewhere when I posted on the forum and I'm glad that so many of the people with whom I have interacted have seen my goodbye. I didn't want to make an unseemly splash by starting a separate thread.

Things are moving apace with me in that my wife has recently started 2 days a week at a Day Centre and I'm trying to move forward with a meds review for her and a carers assessment for me, along with a few other things. We were in a bad place when I stopped making regular posts a month ago but we are both happier and somewhat more hopeful now. I'm nearly back to my usual optimistic self. My wife just carries on in her usual way but it's great to be able to help her. :)

Once again, best wishes to all of you. It has been an honour to have given useful advice to some of you.

Pete
 

Dutchman

Registered User
May 26, 2017
2,348
0
76
Devon, Totnes
....
Thanks everyone. Your replies are humbling.

I had always hoped that I was doing some good somewhere when I posted on the forum and I'm glad that so many of the people with whom I have interacted have seen my goodbye. I didn't want to make an unseemly splash by starting a separate thread.

Things are moving apace with me in that my wife has recently started 2 days a week at a Day Centre and I'm trying to move forward with a meds review for her and a carers assessment for me, along with a few other things. We were in a bad place when I stopped making regular posts a month ago but we are both happier and somewhat more hopeful now. I'm nearly back to my usual optimistic self. My wife just carries on in her usual way but it's great to be able to help her. :)

Once again, best wishes to all of you. It has been an honour to have given useful advice to some of you.

Pete
best wishes and good luck
 

maryjoan

Registered User
Mar 25, 2017
1,634
0
South of the Border
As I've contributed to this thread and exchanged posts with many of you on various threads I just thought I'd say goodbye to you all and wish you all the best as I am leaving the forum to concentrate on my own caring role. I hope that you can all find, at the very least, some moments of relief and normality in the future. However, when you shed a tear know that you are not alone.

I have asked for closure of my membership so I hope you see this goodbye before it's deleted.

Regards
Pete:)
Oh ! You have been a fount of all knowledge for me and for many others - I hope your 'new' life goes well, as you concentrate on your caring role.

Very best of luck to you,and so many thanks from me
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
7,085
0
Chester
@karaokePete - sorry to see you go, you've always been very good at posting to help others.

Maybe you'll be back at some stage.

I think we all go through phases of finding, however supportive DTP is, it can also drag us down reading about all the other problems going on with others, and in your role as a moderator this would have much more so.

I hope that the daycare is good for both of you, and wish you both well.
 

Dutchman

Registered User
May 26, 2017
2,348
0
76
Devon, Totnes
Hello @Dutchman.

I don`t think any of us can be grateful for dementia.

Is it possible your wife has developed a fear of water? I have read of this from others here on Dementia Talking Point.

My wife is increasing spending more and more time fiddling with stuff in our little bedroom. I’ve now lost it completely because she wants her hair washed and now refuses to rinse the shampoo from her hair. So I don’t care she can go out with wet hair full of shampoo for all I care. I’m downstairs and
shes upstairs. I have no patience with it any more. I’ve had 4 years of this and I’m reaching a point where she can jump off a cliff. She also now getting personal and being nasty about my physical appearance in a way of getting back at me for reminding her what she needs to do...cleaning teeth, fresh underwear, etc. Oh how I wish I could be on my own. I really believe I could be better off
 

Grahamstown

Registered User
Jan 12, 2018
1,746
0
84
East of England
I have no patience with it any more.
I am with you on this because I have had a difficult weekend too. He hasn’t shaved, showered or changed his clothes lately and looks terrible, he is not going out of the house and his only exercise is going up and down the stairs. For two days he has lived in his night clothes. Getting him to do these things is a struggle for me and when I do get him cleaned up he looks good, like normal as he used to be. Yesterday I had a moment when I thought, here I am struggling away doing absolutely everything while he says I want this and I want that during the short periods he is up. For a brief moment I felt grim, and faced him with this truth and he said yes I must help more and my heart broke. I have to say to myself that he cannot help it, he is a very sick man who thinks he is fine which protects him from the truth. He picked up a photograph of himself taken 10-15 years ago and said ‘I don’t think I have changed much’, and I just said mm.
 

maryjoan

Registered User
Mar 25, 2017
1,634
0
South of the Border
I am with you on this because I have had a difficult weekend too. He hasn’t shaved, showered or changed his clothes lately and looks terrible, he is not going out of the house and his only exercise is going up and down the stairs. For two days he has lived in his night clothes. Getting him to do these things is a struggle for me and when I do get him cleaned up he looks good, like normal as he used to be. Yesterday I had a moment when I thought, here I am struggling away doing absolutely everything while he says I want this and I want that during the short periods he is up. For a brief moment I felt grim, and faced him with this truth and he said yes I must help more and my heart broke. I have to say to myself that he cannot help it, he is a very sick man who thinks he is fine which protects him from the truth. He picked up a photograph of himself taken 10-15 years ago and said ‘I don’t think I have changed much’, and I just said mm.
Oh My Goodness! This is just like my other half. Not quite as bad in the dressing stakes, but really thinks he is just like he was - how do you feel about it??
I find it very hard to put into words, but the nearest I can get is that I am living a lie.
I know how things really are, know what the future is for him - but he has not a clue, and needs not have a clue.

I sometimes wonder is it him that is living the lie, or is it me?

Must be me and thee @Grahamstown - because they don't know they are, and we do.........
 
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