I don’t know what to do.
- My mum was diagnosed with with dementia in 2017.
- When she was diagnosed I was starting university in September and I had to commute (home and university not far from each other) back and forth from university and home to look after my mum/visit her in hospital (as she was going through psychosis).
- I couldn’t cope with it all (university, assignments, visiting my mum in hospital) so I failed my first year, didn’t make any friends,
- I was diagnosed with depression shortly afterwards.
- I suspended university because I wasn’t coping and I thought I could take the time to get better myself (with my depression) and see how I can manage/sort things out with my Mum.
- Right now things are at it’s worse. I’m finding it difficult living with my mum because I don’t like seeing how she is now. It makes me sad every time I think about how she used to be. All she does it just sit and watch TV all day and then goes to sleep. She will eat the same meal fried meal (chicken and chips) every day, which she orders from the takeaway so she’s now become overweight. Our house is horrible, no matter how many times I try to keep it clean or tidy it ends up a mess again, it smells because my mum doesn’t wash without prompting, and all the rubbish accumulating, it’s just horrible and a brief summary.
- I try to buy her new clothes or book her appointments to do her hair or encourage to see her friends but she always ends up cancelling the hair appointments, or cancelling seeing her friends and would prefer to stay inside and watch her programmes, again which makes me feel sad and guilty because I don’t know why, I hate her just sitting and being alone.
- I feel like I don’t have a way out. I feel like this is my life and there’s nothing I can do about it. I want to carry on with university but I don’t know how I can whilst caring and living for my mum. It’s difficult I can’t do it because I can’t cope with how she is now, and I get angry and frustrated all the time. I can’t concentrate on anything anymore, even taking my anti-depressants, I can’t take care of myself, can’t do anything anymore and my mum can’t take care of herself. I need someone to take care of me because I really don’t have the energy, strength or faith anymore to carry on.
-I want to move somewhere that’s far from where I live because I can be on my own, take care of myself and take my medication and get myself better and normal, and I’ll be able to concentrate on university and get my degree so I can start earning real money and support people properly, but whist doing all of this I’m still want to support my mum.
-She doesn’t want me to move or leave her so I don’t know what to do. And I even feel guilty for even thinking and looking but if I don’t then I’ll never have the life I want for myself e.g uni etc. so I really don’t know, I just feel im suppose to just care for my mum and not have my own life anymore and I just want some advice on what to do, I’m just at my last point now, even writing this I don’t know if it makes sense, if it’s enough, I’m just always worrying, always feeling like I’m going to have a panic stack, crying, feeling sick all the tome, just help.
again I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense, and I hope you can help.
- My mum was diagnosed with with dementia in 2017.
- When she was diagnosed I was starting university in September and I had to commute (home and university not far from each other) back and forth from university and home to look after my mum/visit her in hospital (as she was going through psychosis).
- I couldn’t cope with it all (university, assignments, visiting my mum in hospital) so I failed my first year, didn’t make any friends,
- I was diagnosed with depression shortly afterwards.
- I suspended university because I wasn’t coping and I thought I could take the time to get better myself (with my depression) and see how I can manage/sort things out with my Mum.
- Right now things are at it’s worse. I’m finding it difficult living with my mum because I don’t like seeing how she is now. It makes me sad every time I think about how she used to be. All she does it just sit and watch TV all day and then goes to sleep. She will eat the same meal fried meal (chicken and chips) every day, which she orders from the takeaway so she’s now become overweight. Our house is horrible, no matter how many times I try to keep it clean or tidy it ends up a mess again, it smells because my mum doesn’t wash without prompting, and all the rubbish accumulating, it’s just horrible and a brief summary.
- I try to buy her new clothes or book her appointments to do her hair or encourage to see her friends but she always ends up cancelling the hair appointments, or cancelling seeing her friends and would prefer to stay inside and watch her programmes, again which makes me feel sad and guilty because I don’t know why, I hate her just sitting and being alone.
- I feel like I don’t have a way out. I feel like this is my life and there’s nothing I can do about it. I want to carry on with university but I don’t know how I can whilst caring and living for my mum. It’s difficult I can’t do it because I can’t cope with how she is now, and I get angry and frustrated all the time. I can’t concentrate on anything anymore, even taking my anti-depressants, I can’t take care of myself, can’t do anything anymore and my mum can’t take care of herself. I need someone to take care of me because I really don’t have the energy, strength or faith anymore to carry on.
-I want to move somewhere that’s far from where I live because I can be on my own, take care of myself and take my medication and get myself better and normal, and I’ll be able to concentrate on university and get my degree so I can start earning real money and support people properly, but whist doing all of this I’m still want to support my mum.
-She doesn’t want me to move or leave her so I don’t know what to do. And I even feel guilty for even thinking and looking but if I don’t then I’ll never have the life I want for myself e.g uni etc. so I really don’t know, I just feel im suppose to just care for my mum and not have my own life anymore and I just want some advice on what to do, I’m just at my last point now, even writing this I don’t know if it makes sense, if it’s enough, I’m just always worrying, always feeling like I’m going to have a panic stack, crying, feeling sick all the tome, just help.
again I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense, and I hope you can help.