After a heart breaking journey of 7 years that saw my strong willed dominating father leave this world a shell of the man he was.
I am struggling to reconcile my sister/ and her children's place at my fathers death bed and in his funeral arrangements when their relationship with my father were so hostile in the 10 - 15 years prior to his passing.
I can understand at the end they loved him, but can not find peace with their presence in the days before his death when he was a shell of the man he was before Alzheimer's. But could not be there when he was the differ-cult and funny and demanding!! pre Alzheimer's Father/ Grandfather he would want to be remembered as, or to provide meaningful support my mother when she was struggling with with his declining health.
I cannot find comfort knowing that while he had faith in God. He would struggle to accept their actions at the end and he would want to know why they were not there - when it counted and supporting my mother.
Yet my niece stayed with my father when he passed at the hospital so he would not be alone - and my sister involved herself heavily in the funeral arrangements. Nothing like their relationship when he was well.
I can not help but feel that they loved the man he became MORE with Alzheimer's/ drugged up/ placid/ -than the man he was before this awful disease.
FYI - To support my mother and respect my father 'wish that my mother be protected, I have held my peace with my sister and her children . But now the funeral has passed. I am struggling to reconcile and find peace in this approach given my fathers opinion of them prior to the onset of Alzheimer's.
I am struggling to reconcile my sister/ and her children's place at my fathers death bed and in his funeral arrangements when their relationship with my father were so hostile in the 10 - 15 years prior to his passing.
I can understand at the end they loved him, but can not find peace with their presence in the days before his death when he was a shell of the man he was before Alzheimer's. But could not be there when he was the differ-cult and funny and demanding!! pre Alzheimer's Father/ Grandfather he would want to be remembered as, or to provide meaningful support my mother when she was struggling with with his declining health.
I cannot find comfort knowing that while he had faith in God. He would struggle to accept their actions at the end and he would want to know why they were not there - when it counted and supporting my mother.
Yet my niece stayed with my father when he passed at the hospital so he would not be alone - and my sister involved herself heavily in the funeral arrangements. Nothing like their relationship when he was well.
I can not help but feel that they loved the man he became MORE with Alzheimer's/ drugged up/ placid/ -than the man he was before this awful disease.
FYI - To support my mother and respect my father 'wish that my mother be protected, I have held my peace with my sister and her children . But now the funeral has passed. I am struggling to reconcile and find peace in this approach given my fathers opinion of them prior to the onset of Alzheimer's.
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