Hi Guys,
I guess we're all suffering the same pain, I know I am in a living hell watching what is happening to my dad.
After a hard 5 years following a stroke my father was eventually diagnosed with vascular dementia.
He has been in and out of hospital but was discharged and allowed home about 6 weeks ago.
After the stroke I moved back in with my parents to help, things got progressively worse in the last 4 months and now dad is back home he has deteriorated badly recently.
His mobility is terrible and cannot stand by himself without help which only I can do as mum isn't strong enough, so obviously toilet is a big issue.
I know this is breaking mum and I am worried about her, the obvious question is why don't I get a placement into a care home?
I am absolutely torn to pieces emotionally struggling to deal with what is best. Best for mum and is a care home but in doing this I will be taking away everything my dad has got left, his home, his family, his beloved dog. He won't understand why he is being taken from his home, he doesn't have the capacity to understand reason or what is good for everyone, he will just be destroyed by the decision and I could never live with myself doing this...….but am aware that I also couldn't live with myself if anything happens to mum due to all the stress this situation is causing.
If he could understand and accept being in a care home I would be all for it......but he doesn't and never will.
I cannot see any right solution and don't even think there is one.
I feel completely broken and am no longer working as I need to be at home 24/7 to support my parents, my work have been amazing and have given me time off indefinitely.
I guess I just feel so alone in dealing with this, I am a single guy and have 2 sisters, one of which is badly ill and can't help and the other is too busy with family commitments.
If you've got this far thanks for reading and you don't have to reply, I just wanted to get this off my chest and if I'm honest I have no idea why.
I wish you all the very best in your situation, my thoughts and prayers are with everyone on here.
My Best Regards
I guess we're all suffering the same pain, I know I am in a living hell watching what is happening to my dad.
After a hard 5 years following a stroke my father was eventually diagnosed with vascular dementia.
He has been in and out of hospital but was discharged and allowed home about 6 weeks ago.
After the stroke I moved back in with my parents to help, things got progressively worse in the last 4 months and now dad is back home he has deteriorated badly recently.
His mobility is terrible and cannot stand by himself without help which only I can do as mum isn't strong enough, so obviously toilet is a big issue.
I know this is breaking mum and I am worried about her, the obvious question is why don't I get a placement into a care home?
I am absolutely torn to pieces emotionally struggling to deal with what is best. Best for mum and is a care home but in doing this I will be taking away everything my dad has got left, his home, his family, his beloved dog. He won't understand why he is being taken from his home, he doesn't have the capacity to understand reason or what is good for everyone, he will just be destroyed by the decision and I could never live with myself doing this...….but am aware that I also couldn't live with myself if anything happens to mum due to all the stress this situation is causing.
If he could understand and accept being in a care home I would be all for it......but he doesn't and never will.
I cannot see any right solution and don't even think there is one.
I feel completely broken and am no longer working as I need to be at home 24/7 to support my parents, my work have been amazing and have given me time off indefinitely.
I guess I just feel so alone in dealing with this, I am a single guy and have 2 sisters, one of which is badly ill and can't help and the other is too busy with family commitments.
If you've got this far thanks for reading and you don't have to reply, I just wanted to get this off my chest and if I'm honest I have no idea why.
I wish you all the very best in your situation, my thoughts and prayers are with everyone on here.
My Best Regards