Struggling with my mother's repetition and fixation

[Alec]

It's driving me mad at times. Every day it's a different fixation. It gets worse as we get to the evening which is when I feel more tired and have less patience.
Today it's the washing. Yesterday it was the carer. Any tips on how to retain my sanity would be greatly welcomed.

 

[nae sporran]

Welcome to the forums Alec. Sadly these are part of dementia in many of it's forms and going with the flow is the best way to reduce stress. Compassionate communication will suggest agreeing with everything until your mother has tired herself out, but the reality is as hard as you say. Sorry that's not much use.

 

[Alec]

Thanks for taking the time to reply

 

[Duggies-girl]

@Alec Yes the obsessions are what I find hardest. My dad has taken to picking at his scalp and combing his hair all the time. He is also obsessed with watering and pruning his pot plants.

Drives me nuts. I find it best to ignore it but it's hard.

We need the patience of a saint sometimes.

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Alec, and welcome from me too.

As has been suggested the repetition and fixations are both common and difficult to handle.

I wonder if you may find any local support services like a memory café to be of some use. You can do a post code check to see what's available to you by following this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

The full list of the very informative Factsheets can be found with this link https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

A specific Factsheet that deals with changes in behaviour, including 'sundowning' can be read by clicking the PDF line of the following link
Changes in behaviour (525)
PDF printable version

As communicating becomes an issue, a few handy tips can be picked from the useful thread, that was mentioned by 'nae sporran' that can be reached with this link https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/

Best wishes to you and your mother.

 

[Alec]

@Alec Yes the obsessions are what I find hardest. My dad has taken to picking at his scalp and combing his hair all the time. He is also obsessed with watering and pruning his pot plants.

Drives me nuts. I find it best to ignore it but it's hard.

We need the patience of a saint sometimes.

Thanks very much for your reply. You're not wrong when you say you need the patience of a saint!

 

[MaNaAk]

Thanks for taking the time to reply

Dear Alec,

Have you looked into day centres to give yourself some respite?

MaNaAk

 

[Alec]

Thanks very much for your reply. I'll certainly look into this. Many thanks.