Just catching up and I think I had a very similar experience to you
@Canadian Joanne, where I knew my dad needed medication, but once on them it was a fight not to have the gp keep upping the dose after any minor thing, and trying to get them reduced, when he had so many side effects and we felt they were no longer needed was a battle in itself!
@tryingmybest I remember screaming at a duty social worker on call for help over the phone one weekend as my dad was trying to throw the tv through the window. I must have sounded like the irrational one but I was at my wits end and was told to call back on Monday when dad’s actual social worker was in! We ended up calling the police as a last resort, which is not ideal but they were always excellent and their presence always helped.
The lack of empathy and help is pitiful. I ended up videoing my dad having ‘a turn’ because whenever anyone visited he would be on his best behaviour and only then was I listened to after making a nuisance of myself ringing anyone I could for help. In the end a psychiatric nurse and social worker came together and between us we convinced dad to go to a psychiatric hospital. That’s where we handed over dads care and no longer had any say in anything despite my and I visiting him daily in shifts for hours. As much as I know he needed them, he was treated very heavy handedly with medication. I wish we could have been offered the anti psychotic medication to try at home with a lower dose in the first place, where we could monitor it and feed back to the Dr.
As far as I am aware antipsychotic meds can be given to people with vascular dementia, but all meds should be given with caution and each person can react differently. The agitation you describe does sound like it may at least be worth considering some other solution, other than ‘try this for a few weeks, get on with it, and see’!
I am so sorry for what you are going through and completely understand why you want to keep your mum at home. Best wishes xx