Good Morning everyone,
So much for my promise to get on here more frequently - manic in work, bad fibro flares, and a return of the chest infection thats kept me away from Mil, are my excuses - I'm so sorry. There just don't seem to be enough hours in the day at the moment
JM, congratulations to your daughter on getting an offer from Camebridge - that's brilliant
Given how many other interests she has though, I can totally understand why she wants to look at other places though, especially with the cycling.
I think you are right, once you have cared for someone with dementia, you do become very proficient at spotting the signs in others. I'm with you, where your Mil is concerned, I'd want to avert a crisis at all costs. At the same time, given the difficult relationship your OH has with his Mum, I can also see why he doesn't want to deal with it too. A horribly tricky situation for you all xxxx
Amy, I'm so sorry to hear about your little cat. So hard when we lose members of our furry family. Busta Dog here is in his 17th year. His sight and hearing are poor, he can only manage comparitvely short walks now - but he still wants to go on those walks. He still fetches toys for us to play with him (albeit for very short spells now), eats well and though now and again, he limps, he seems amazingly healthy for his age. But we know its not going to be for very much longer, and I can hardly bear to think of it - over 16 years of having him as a very big part of our family, I just don't know how I will cope when we lose him
I still wouldn't trade one minute of those years though - even to spare us all the heartache xxx
Slugsta, I've got myself a bit upset, thinking of losing our Busta, so I will read the poem later - when I'm not as likely to bawl like a baby! xxxx
Spamar - I really hope you are feeling better now, hun. Not the best of starts to the year for you, health-wise {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}
Not sure where to start to catch you all up! Being as we have been talking pets, I guess saying that there are continuing issues with my lovely new granddog Oscar, is as good a place as any. Oscar continues to be extremely distructive, and its causing a lot of problems. At Christmas, he went with sons GF to her parents, where amongst other things, he managed to eat a coat belonging to the GF's Mum. He seemed very settled there, gets on brilliantly with her parents doggy, and is as long as the GF is with him - he is very much 'her' doggy - is an obviously happy dog. But still the destruction. He has recently learnt how to open doors, meaning that restricting him to one room overnight is no longer possible - though they are now fitting catches to try and stop him. He has chewed door frames (a big bill for son and GF to put right the damage is pending), ate remote controls, plugs, shoes, cushions, several dog beds, destroyed 2 crates, chewed the legs on the dining room table and chairs and too many other items to list have also been wrecked. They have spent a fortune on trying to 'Oscar-proof' the house, on buying various gizmos and items to stop him and on a 1-1 dog trainer. The current plan is to send him to a 'dog sitter' when son's and GF's work hours overlap (sons shifts mean its rare for the doggys to be left for more than 3 or 4 hours, thankfully ). Again, this is a big expense - and it doesn't solve the problem with damage Oscar causes overnight. I don't know what the answer is - I just know that there is no way that the GF in particular will part with him.
The chest infection/lurgy that I picked up before Christmas has continued to come and go - not badly ill, but along with the current spate of fibro flares, it's impacted on me sleeping even more than usual, so getting through most days is like wading through treacle. This week is the first week where it actually really seems to be gone for good - thank goodness. Now I just need the fibro to calm down!
Work - again that word 'manic' - the garden scheme has progressed to work actually starting - ground clearance nearly complete, tree work was finished last week. A lot of unexpected costs popping up, so fundraising added to the workload, along with endless meetings to deal with various little issues that keep appearing. Added to which, I've got one project (thankfully nearly over) where there have been major issues with behaviour and an ineffective teacher, and the continued pressure to meet new targets (increased by over 30% from whe I started this job). I'm one of many job hunting - don't want to, love so much about this job, but I am shattered, really struggling to keep to my hours, and sick of stressing on my time off because I know I am not keeping on top of the admin. I know from many fellow workmates that I'm not alone in this situation, which helps, but I work work to live, not live to work, so I'm reluctantly searching for another role.
We also have a 10 day holiday booked, at the beginning of April - off to Fuerteventura for our wedding aniversary (27th, this year!) - and we can't wait! Just 70 days to go (not that I'm counting or anything
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And Mil - I have only visited once since Christmas, because of not being well. And that once was yesterday. OH has been going once or twice a week , though - and really, little has changed. OH did say, the week before last, after a visit, that he thought she was getting less violent - but then on his next visit, she scratched, smacked and thumped him and was really abusive and aggressive, so its obviously just a case of he'd been lucky she had been in a good mood on the previous few visits! Yesterday, I spent an hour with her - and it was nice to spend some time with her again, I felt better for seeing her 'properly', IYKWIM. She was in her room - so am assuming there had been some issues in the main lounge which had necessitated her being in 'time out' - though she was pretty chilled out whilst I was there. Cuddling the doll (the from the home) the whole time. Apparently, its her niece 'Mary' (or at least it was yesterday) and she hugged it and kept kissing it all the time. She said her brother let her babysit because she is 15 now! . The soft doll we got her has been rejected - it doesn't look realistic enough, I guess because it hasn't got a molded plastic face to make it look quite as life-like as 'Mary' does? Which still leaves us with the problem of her suddenly turning and clouting staff (and us) with 'Mary' - and that hard plastic face really hurts when she uses it to hit out. Finding a lifelike doll that can't double up as an offensive weapon definitely isn't easy! Much to my annoyance, the black and white toy collie dog was nowhere to be seen - and even more annoying, the 3 staff I spoke to about it had no idea what I was talking about. Again, I asked for it to be found - we'll see what happens. She seemd to like it so much, and it might just make for a handy substitue for Mary, when she is feeling violent - less painful to be hit with the soft doggy than the doll.
She had no idea who I was, despite greeting me quite warmly. She called me 'Miss' throughout the visit - that's a new thing. No counting, only a few shouts of 'help' - but still the exaggerated face pulling and OTT cries of 'Ohhhhhhhhh', pulling tongues and generally playing for an audience. Her legs were twitching and writhing quite a bit, but she was able to stay in the chair. Mouth movements were also quite bad, I wasn't able to make out everything she said. She was watching 'Chitty, chitty Bang Bang', and I noticed she was really revelling in unpleasant things happening in the film - very odd! People falling over, a man shooting, the 'Duke' threatening to execute someone - Mil repeated what was happening each time, roaring with laughter, telling me it was 'so funny'.
It started snowing while I was there, and I pointed it out to her - '
Thats funny' she said
'it wasn't snowing when I went swimming in the river this morning'! A little later she was gazing at the snow coming down through her window, then several times turned to look at her open bedroom door. Finally she pointed at the window and said
'Isn't that strange - its snowing out there, but (turning to point at the open door leading to the corridor)
Its not snowing out there!'
I stayed an hour, and got a bit of agitation from her when I was leaving - she asked wasn't I taking her with me, but thankfully, was easily distracted.
I didn't tell her - obviously - that we had had some sad news on Wednesday. Her last brother has passed away, aged 83. Its been a horrible year for that branch of the family, with 3 of her nephews dying (two from cancer, 1 from heart problems) and now their Dad gone. Mil is unaware of any of this, of course - and whilst I'm glad she is spared the grief, there is a bit of me that finds it so sad that she can't be there and share the loss with the rest of the family.
Right - need to get sorted, as its my turn to do the theatre school run and get youngest and the rest of her diva friends to class today. Then its a lazy day planned. I worked last weekend (overseeigng garden work that couldn't be carried out whilst the students were there) so have taken the time back this week, and have been off since Wednesday afternoon. Which has meant that several admin jobs landed on me at the beginning of the week have not been done - and I know I am going to get flak for that on Monday. However, the break has done me good, and I earned it, so tough
Take care everyone, and much love to you all xxxxxxx