When my husband was diagnosed with ftd the consultant told me she would refer to the admiral nurses for support for me. At no point did she mention that this would be support for both of us. I have had one meeting with my Admiral nurse which I found quite difficult partly because she was talking about my husband and how I needed to prepare for the future yet the only things she knew about him were what I told her or she read in the letter I showed her from the consultant. At no point during our meeting did she suggest that she would meet my husband. I have been given the impression all along that the admiral nurse was there to support me. I am now wondering if I have been misled or have misunderstood because I've just received a patient satisfaction survey which asks if I'm the patient or the carer! I feel unable to answer the questions in the survey because they appear to relate to the patient.
Does anyone have any experience of this service and what I should expect from the admiral nurse?
My wife was discharged by the memory clinic consultant back to the care of our GP (yeah right!
) after 2 years. I asked where I could get more help and he reluctantly said he could arrange for me to see the admiral nurse.
I got to see her a few weeks later and I went along with a few questions about how to deal with some of the issues that I was struggling with with my wife's behaviour at that time.
Her replies generally involved letting my wife do whatever she wanted, even if that could potentially put her at risk. For instance, having explained that my wife often didn't want to go upstairs for bed, she suggested that I simply leave her downstairs then!
I found the whole session a bit pointless and my only other dealings with them (or not, as it turns out) was a few months later. My wife was starting to get incontinent and one weekend, desperate for some advice on how to cope, I rang the local AN helpline. I got an "office now closed" announcement, suggesting I leave a message and they would get back to me ASAP.
I rang various other support agencies, including Age UK ("we don't deal with incontinence advice", GP surgery (got the out-of-hours unit who suggested ringing GP on Monday!) National Admiral Nurse Helpline (who suggested ringing my local helpline
) and finally, got to speak to a lovely lady from the National Dementia Helpline. She was so understanding and took the time to explain to me how a person with dementia can often forget the actual process of going to the toilet.
Needless to say, I never did get a call back from the AN team.