Hi. From my non leaking very ordinary bed. It's good to be home. I so looked forward to coming home Now I find I wish I was still a long way away . No pleasing some is there . Today was my first full day at home. I found myself on the phone most of the day. I went to visit the care home this morning to try to find out when the best interest meeting would be taking place. Monday, they said . Then, not Monday,. They were waiting for a gp visit to assess my oh. She hasn't been eating or drinking anything for a day or two. Gp reasoned that she was dehydrated so arrangements were made to take her to hospital. They asked if I could take her in my car , now come on, she can't bear the sight of me, how on earth could I take her to the hospital ! The ambulance was called to take her, good idea. After a few short tests it was confirmed that she wasn't dehydrated at all. So as I post on here she has been sent back to the care home. It appears that we now have a rather blunt choice. Either we can just do nothing and let nature take its course. I. e. If she won't eat or drink just let her carry on until the inevitable end. Or intervene and let things drag on and on. Obviously there is more to it than that but to me that is how it seems . I've known this has been coming for some time but when you actually hear it from a real Dr it hits like a hammer blow. So, here I am once again, posting at stupid o'clock in the morning, sleep seems a long way away, and there's not a thing I can do.
I went out tonight with friends , nothing special, just a few drinks at my not so local, local, it felt good. For just a few hours life was normal I, as usual put up a front , I'm good at acting, I should have had a career on the stage
However, I'm home now and the reality is sinking in once again so I guess that the best thing I could do now is sign off and try to get some sleep. So I'll say, goodnight, it'll soon be good morning so for tonight, good night, Al