Further to my previous post. This afternoon I went to take my husband out as the weather is still nice here. He was still in his pyjamas. The care leader said he had refused personal care. I said I would help him to shower and clean teeth etc. he was soaking wet as he still had his night pad on. His bed was unmade and the wet sheet was still on. They say they are unable to insist on giving personal care if he resists. He is not aggressive and usually very compliant. He showered with no problem while I was there. My worry is that I darent miss a day visiting because I wonder what is going on. When I got back at 4.30 with him. The bed was still unmade so I asked for clean dry sheets and made the bed myself. I told them if necessary I would come in each day and shower him and make sure he is dry. They said “ Oh, but that’s our job”. But they are clearly not doing it. I would be grateful for anyone’s thoughts on this
Hello. Oh that sounds very upsetting for you and not pleasant for your husband either. I am new to all this so I don't think I can advise you but I do think that it doesn't seem right that you should be washing your husband and changing his sheets. But I can certainly see why you did do this today. I have also showered my Mum when she looked like she hadn't had her hair washed for days and I felt better myself for doing something for her but was also thinking that I shouldn't have to shower her! I guess you will have to keep note over the next week or so and re-address it with the home manager if it doesn't seem acceptable. Really hope today was a one off situation for you both.