It’s like the compassionate communication thread - what we should do in the perfect world. I take such things as targets and reminders but don’t beat myself up when I fall short.
The tip of an enormous iceberg, as are most commandments, albeit well intended. The secret is in having such already embedded, so that communication becomes an instinctive thing - like helping a fallen person to their feet. Rules can be followed to the letter, but once a living being stands before you, the 'reality' becomes just that. Such is the challenge with dementia.
So true but also so hard to actually do and I fall short often but just have to keep trying ....take care A x
I often failed at this last time round, I’m hoping to do better this time.
I agree, I often found this much easier and it mostly worked .@Hair Twiddler Yes...
May I suggest that "yes" is the word to pin our hopes on rather than he word "never".
To try ... "YES, that's what we'll do when all our other jobs are out of the way"
" YES, Good idea........the weather will be perfect tomorrow"
"YES" - when your brain is crying "I really can't find anything worthy to say - I'm floundering"
God knows I said this a thousand times.
Dead Right, Kindred - that's why I put it on here. I think whoever wrote it has never lived with a person with dementia.........actually, I object to being hectored in capital letters like this! We are not idiots.
GxxAlso there is no right of reply for us to do a list of commandments for PWD. Kindred.
Important points raised here. Lists like this make the Carer feel inadequate and might make them feel guilty.
The problem is, in life you choose to all sorts of things you have an aptitude for. If you become a Carer for a PWD by choice, well that’s one thing, but unless it’s a profession, most of us haven’t had a choice. What’s more, some of have a natural aptitude, but many of us don’t. Some of us have had a good relationship with the PWD, but lots don’t - and that goes for partners as well as parents.
Compassionate Caring is good, but so wordy, this list is succinct but hectoring and negative. So how do we do help Carer’s in a simple way?
You’re not a misery guts, just someone who’s being put through the mill in ways that only those of us dealing with a PWD can understand. Know exactly what you mean about that list being offensive at the moment. It smacks of the “Living Well with Dementia” patronising stuff.No way can I even read that list today! In fact reading it is offensive at the moment.
My husband is having a bad day, or is it me having the bad day because he is having a bad day.
Life.... going round in circles.
Tough today.
Didn’t help matters that I was up listening to drip drip drip at 3 am. This woke my OH who thought it was time to get up. Drip in loft is something else for me to try to sort that would have been OH domain.
Then trying to sort his mobile phone... what password! Whatever he thought it might be, it isn’t!
Need to get my act together, but wish I didn’t have to, every minute of every day... and lots of nights to.
I’m such a misery guts.