Caring for mom

Heathgc

New member
Aug 11, 2018
7
0
Hi all new to this site. My mom had fall 6 weeks ago found her lying in bed cuts bruises. She can't remember what happened. When we got to hospital found she had a broken wrist. After 2 weeks sent home. Bed and commode now downstairs as doctors afraid of falling again. I'm 62, only child, live 45 mins drive away. Mom has carers 3 times a day. I do shopping washing and cleaning. All other family live far away or are house bound.so mom only sees me and carers. She is unable to do anything for herself, forgets where the commode is, and gets very depressed.I am now looking to put her in a care homenearer to were I live, but finding this very upsetting.
 

Blondee

Registered User
May 12, 2018
105
0
Hi @Heathgc
Welcome to Talking Point and I’m glad you’ve found here.

It’s a dreadful situation you are in, you’re realising that your lovely mum has to go into a home. I know how dreadful that is. I finally realised about three months ago that my mum had to go into a home and it was arranged and she was In within two weeks. I still to this day do t know how I coped. You are in the most horrible situation and there is no easy answer. When you are in this situation you are often looking for other people’s views which aren’t always forthcoming. So if it helps from my perspective what you are describing I would think that your mum would be best with more care than can be managed at home. From what you say it sounds as if you are at that point.
From a practical point of view visit as many homes as possible and if you like some which have a waiting list get her name down. I’m so sorry you are in this situation but hopefully there will soon be a wayforward for you and your mum. Please continue to post to TP and everyone will do their best to support you during this very difficult journey.
Denise
 

Amethyst59

Registered User
Jul 3, 2017
5,776
0
Kent
Hello, @Heathgc. Welcome to Talking Point. Does your mother have a diagnosis of dementia? There could be many reasons for her fall and general decline in health.
 

Heathgc

New member
Aug 11, 2018
7
0
Hi @Heathgc
Welcome to Talking Point and I’m glad you’ve found here.

It’s a dreadful situation you are in, you’re realising that your lovely mum has to go into a home. I know how dreadful that is. I finally realised about three months ago that my mum had to go into a home and it was arranged and she was In within two weeks. I still to this day do t know how I coped. You are in the most horrible situation and there is no easy answer. When you are in this situation you are often looking for other people’s views which aren’t always forthcoming. So if it helps from my perspective what you are describing I would think that your mum would be best with more care than can be managed at home. From what you say it sounds as if you are at that point.
From a practical point of view visit as many homes as possible and if you like some which have a waiting list get her name down. I’m so sorry you are in this situation but hopefully there will soon be a wayforward for you and your mum. Please continue to post to TP and everyone will do their best to support you during this very difficult journey.
Denise
Hi all new to this site. My mom had fall 6 weeks ago found her lying in bed cuts bruises. She can't remember what happened. When we got to hospital found she had a broken wrist. After 2 weeks sent home. Bed and commode now downstairs as doctors afraid of falling again. I'm 62, only child, live 45 mins drive away. Mom has carers 3 times a day. I do shopping washing and cleaning. All other family live far away or are house bound.so mom only sees me and carers. She is unable to do anything for herself, forgets where the commode is, and gets very depressed.I am now looking to put her in a care homenearer to were I live, but finding this very upsetting.
 

Heathgc

New member
Aug 11, 2018
7
0
Yes I will give them a call on Monday. I'm finding as if I can't think about anything else at the moment. Thanks for your reply it really helps.
Hi Heathgc

So sorry you’re trying to cope with caring for your mum, even with carers going in & with you being on 24 hour call isn’t good for you either. It’s really, really tough. Have you spoken with Social Services? This is what they’re there for. I think it would really help you if you could ring them and explain how things are and arrange for a care needs assessment to be done - this is available regardless of whether self funding or not. Your poor mum is at risk because of the falls. At least speaking to someone, you can voice your concerns. You may get some other better suggestions from this forum so I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you.
 

Heathgc

New member
Aug 11, 2018
7
0
Hi Heathgc

So sorry you’re trying to cope with caring for your mum, even with carers going in & with you being on 24 hour call isn’t good for you either. It’s really, really tough. Have you spoken with Social Services? This is what they’re there for. I think it would really help you if you could ring them and explain how things are and arrange for a care needs assessment to be done - this is available regardless of whether self funding or not. Your poor mum is at risk because of the falls. At least speaking to someone, you can voice your concerns. You may get some other better suggestions from this forum so I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Thanks for reply I will ring social worker on Monday