I thought it was time for a little update. The house sale is still going through ok and we have made a good start of clearing dad’s house, although our garage is now looking a lot fuller as much of dad’s stuff has been transferred to our house, we really need to do a car boot. We have also done lots and lots of trips to the refuse tip. I have asked a charity shop to come round and see if they want any of the big furniture items and white goods and then I will have to arrange with the council to remove any bulky items that are left. Dad’s shed is the last thing to tackle and I have to say we are not looking forward to it, as it appears to be full of junk and god knows what, hazmat suit and gloves are required I think.
I visited our Property lawyer yesterday and gave him all dad’s house paperwork, the deeds and freehold etc and I gave him my POA and mums death certificate as the house was in their joint names. I think I signed my life away too with all the money laundering stuff etc.
Dad is still doing well at the care home, although he’s been very sleepy lately. Each time I have visited I’ve found him asleep and when he wakes, it’s for a short period then he’s asleep again. I had to feed him on a Tuesday as he’d slept through lunch, but the staff had saved him a jacket potato, beans and cheese. I cut it up for him but he just didn’t seem to know what to do with it and wouldn’t hold the fork, so I fed him. In the time it took me to take his plate away and come back with his pudding he was asleep again. I did get him to wake up with the help of a carer, fed him his pudding, then he went back to sleep again.
Last Saturday was ‘interesting’ when we arrived we found him asleep, but he’d fallen asleep holding a drink which had spilt all over his trousers. They needed changing. When he woke four different staff attempted to change him, the first was threatened with a knife and fork that dad had in his pocket which he had taken from the dining room, he told us he was going to use them to kill people. I managed to get him to give them to me to ‘look after’, thankfully within seconds dad’s forgotten about them. They left him for a bit, then the second carer tried but he got thumped in the stomach for trying. Then after another 10 mins or so, two carers tried together to get him to change (by this time he had also wet himself) but dad was still refusing and being aggressive. So again they had to leave him and he went off helping the laundry lady push her trolley, we found him 10 minutes later fast asleep again in the lounge still in very wet trousers so we decided to leave and let the staff deal with himas there was little we could do.
I also noticed on Tuesday that dad had large bruises on each of his hands, apparently he had punched a member of staff again the day before.
Yesterday I found an opportunity to tell them again that dad prefers drinking tea and not just coffee all the time. I also managed to get them to understand how he likes it made. They said they had found that most of the men in the unit seem to prefer coffee so they had assumed dad did too. I think care homes sometimes forget they are still all individuals, but I know it is hard to remember everything about each resident. I also took in a large stack of CD’s which were from dads house, mostly 50’s/60’s stuff, I though they might like them