QUOTE="vmmh, post: 1549903, member: 74898"]Deli101 We are here for you, please keep in touch with us as you are just entering this dementia world. I remember getting my husband's diagnosis from a Psychologist. I had seen signs of memory loss in him and took him to a Neurologist. He referred to the Psychologist for intensive testing. At the end of the full day of testing my husband was ready to kill the Psychologist and I think the reverse was probably true also. I sat in his office while he told me the results were "very bad". he didn't put a label on it just then but I remember feeling numb all over, like somebody hit me with a great big sledge hammer. Then my mind began running in all different directions. He was 56 years old at that time and is 62 years old now. The trip this far has been difficult but would have been better if I had had this forum from the start. As others have said, just concentrate on the here and now for the time being. You both need some time to take all this in and adjust. Be open and honest with each other and continue to love each other. Take as much time together as you can get.
Thank you ... I just have such a deep feeling of dread and don’t think I’m going to be able to do it x[/QUOTE]
I so wish I could help you
@Deli101 but right now you are mixed up, scared and maybe feeling very lonely as well. Right at this moment it is best not to look too far ahead as you may become overwhelmed by emotions and the sheer worry of all of this. You must try to remain strong and try to focus on one task at a time.
Practical things first. Get help from a reliable friend or relative to help you if at all possible with things like POA. Ask your husbands GP for an appointment with the memory clinic. Find out if there are any support groups in your area, they may prove helpful. Accept help and support from family and friends and if they don't offer then ask them for help. That is the thing that I would have liked more than anything, a little help from family with dad but in my case this never happened and the feeling of being alone is isolating.
Perhaps a good friend of your husband would be willing to help him in some way by talking with him or carrying on with some kind of activity that they have done in the past, sometimes a bit of outside support is more than welcome. My dad has an old friend from school who still calls on him and kindly does his garden for him. Quiet amazing really because they are both 88 years old and still remain friends and it lifts a little weight off me so I am more than grateful.
You have too much to process at the moment especially as you have children at home. You don't have to make any decisions about your futures right now. One day at a time until your thoughts sort themselves out and please accept any help that is offered and do keep coming here as it is sometimes the only place that you can release your deepest thoughts and fears.
You will always find someone willing to listen even if they cannot be of practical help. Sometimes just writing things down and saying what you are feeling to people who will not judge you in anyway can be an enormous help I have found.
Wishing you and your family lots of strength and many hugs.