Breaking point.....

[yak55]

Still waiting for a room to become available for Mum in care home.

Psychiatrist needs to see mum again because she is not sure she lacks the mental capacity to sell her home or agree to us selling her home on her behalf which is holding up probate which in turn deems us unable to pay ch fees when they arise.

It's been a day of two parts. OH played golf am, I took mum out am. All fine and dandy then wham, as soon as we got home the tears the questions the questions the questions the tears the strops the strops, I want to swear........I came home after our morning out and actually said to my husband, mum will be alright here won't she? What was I thinking, I am going crazy, and she is in and out of my bleep room still, I could scream.......OH and I are losing it, we've had enough, oh and ten mins before the SW should have seen us on Thursday she rang to say she can't do an assessment for a 12 week disregard because mum has property and is living with family bleeeeeeeeep

 

[Kikki21]

Still waiting for a room to become available for Mum in care home.

Psychiatrist needs to see mum again because she is not sure she lacks the mental capacity to sell her home or agree to us selling her home on her behalf which is holding up probate which in turn deems us unable to pay ch fees when they arise.

It's been a day of two parts. OH played golf am, I took mum out am. All fine and dandy then wham, as soon as we got home the tears the questions the questions the questions the tears the strops the strops, I want to swear........I came home after our morning out and actually said to my husband, mum will be alright here won't she? What was I thinking, I am going crazy, and she is in and out of my bleep room still, I could scream.......OH and I are losing it, we've had enough, oh and ten mins before the SW should have seen us on Thursday she rang to say she can't do an assessment for a 12 week disregard because mum has property and is living with family bleeeeeeeeep

@yak55 deep deep breaths are required. There is no bleep school that trains you for this dementia rollercoaster & even worse if there is just you dealing with it. I find out new things as I go along really.
There was no question about the 12 week disregard for us even though my mum has a property. The SW said so & so no issues with that & we were so lucky with the care home having a place.
I can’t remember what you have in place with your mum’s property, do you have POA?

I don’t have that & have filled out COP forms do that I have access to my mum’s property & finance matters. There is probably stuff that I don’t know about due to my mum being secretive about finance & how the officials expect you to know everything is quite mad. I really hope a care home place becomes available ASAP for you xx

 

[Lindy50]

Hello yak
You poor things! I'm not surprised you're bleeping
Such responsibility and stress is too much for anyone. I really don't understand why your mum apparently isn't eligible for a 12 week disregard - maybe check this if you can?
Anyway I read your post and just had to say, hang in there, it's awful but it will work out eventually. Look after yourself (and hubby). Sending you (((hugs))).
Lindy x

 

[Jessbow]

Still waiting for a room to become available for Mum in care home.

Psychiatrist needs to see mum again because she is not sure she lacks the mental capacity to sell her home or agree to us selling her home on her behalf which is holding up probate which in turn deems us unable to pay ch fees when they arise.

It's been a day of two parts. OH played golf am, I took mum out am. All fine and dandy then wham, as soon as we got home the tears the questions the questions the questions the tears the strops the strops, I want to swear........I came home after our morning out and actually said to my husband, mum will be alright here won't she? What was I thinking, I am going crazy, and she is in and out of my bleep room still, I could scream.......OH and I are losing it, we've had enough, oh and ten mins before the SW should have seen us on Thursday she rang to say she can't do an assessment for a 12 week disregard because mum has property and is living with family bleeeeeeeeep

Why are you applying for probate? You only apply for probate to deal with someones affairs after they have passed away

 

[Bunpoots]

Why are you applying for probate? You only apply for probate to deal with someones affairs after they have passed away

I was wondering the same. Do you mean exchange of contracts?

The situation sounds unbearable. I really feel for you. I wonder what SS would do if you said you were leaving your mum home alone? You wouldn't have to of course. Just sound convincing...

 

[yak55]

Why are you applying for probate? You only apply for probate to deal with someones affairs after they have passed away

My dad died in August and mums name wasn’t on the deeds

 

[yak55]

@yak55 deep deep breaths are required. There is no bleep school that trains you for this dementia rollercoaster & even worse if there is just you dealing with it. I find out new things as I go along really.
There was no question about the 12 week disregard for us even though my mum has a property. The SW said so & so no issues with that & we were so lucky with the care home having a place.
I can’t remember what you have in place with your mum’s property, do you have POA?

I don’t have that & have filled out COP forms do that I have access to my mum’s property & finance matters. There is probably stuff that I don’t know about due to my mum being secretive about finance & how the officials expect you to know everything is quite mad. I really hope a care home place becomes available ASAP for you xx

Hi I have LPA for property and finance for mum. I can’t understand why we can’t have the 12 week disregard!!! X

 

[Louise7]

I can’t understand why we can’t have the 12 week disregard!!!

I would check this with the finance team to find out exactly what the position is. It is not unheard of for a social worker to talk out of their bottom when referring to matters which are outside of their own remit......

 

[ITBookworm]

My dad died in August and mums name wasn’t on the deeds

I would guess this is connected to you not being able to get the 12 week disregard. I think you would have to prove that Mum was left the house by Dad so therefore "owned" it even if her name isn't on the paperwork yet. Because the situation is a bit different from usual you might need legal advice to confirm the details.

 

[yak55]

Thank you all for your comments which help me greatly x

 

[Kikki21]

I would guess this is connected to you not being able to get the 12 week disregard. I think you would have to prove that Mum was left the house by Dad so therefore "owned" it even if her name isn't on the paperwork yet. Because the situation is a bit different from usual you might need legal advice to confirm the details.

And that’s what I was thinking although how do the council know who owns a house anyway? They don’t ask for the deeds so that is a bit of a mystery. I hope you manage to find out @yak55 xx

 

[yak55]

And that’s what I was thinking although how do the council know who owns a house anyway? They don’t ask for the deeds so that is a bit of a mystery. I hope you manage to find out @yak55 xx

I'm utterly fed up to the back teeth about it! I am hoping that we get a positive call from our solicitor asking me to swear an oath to get probate so the house can finally be sold and then we will have no dealings with WSCC, they've been no help at all. Luckily the buyers have been prepared to wait and have been very patient, the contracts have been signed it's just probate that's been holding things up. x

 

[Kikki21]

I'm utterly fed up to the back teeth about it! I am hoping that we get a positive call from our solicitor asking me to swear an oath to get probate so the house can finally be sold and then we will have no dealings with WSCC, they've been no help at all. Luckily the buyers have been prepared to wait and have been very patient, the contracts have been signed it's just probate that's been holding things up. x

Oh @yak55 i’m so sorry again. At least the buyers have been ok with you x