.I know he,s not here but the love I have for him some times seem to over whelm me,does any one else have these feelings
@Marmalade. Yes I have similar feelings. My husband died almost a year and ten months ago after having had dementia for at least 15 years, 10 years at home and 5 years in a care home. He had become the complete opposite of all he had been, and was dreadfully verbally aggressive. There were times when I thought he hated me.
After many months in the care home things improved, the man he was appeared from time to time, he would be affectionate and loving. Our love for each other had not been killed off by dementia as I feared, but buried beneath the debris of the dreadful symptoms.
@jaymore. What you wrote could have been me writing. For years I couldn't look at photos because of the pain comparing Henry as he was with how he became. Then almost a year ago I moved house and have had to deal with loads of photos - and still to finish. I dreaded it but to my surprise and joy they were a huge comfort and helped so much.
We had been married for just a couple of months short of 50 years so more years without dementia than with. No I can’t forget the 11 years that dementia robed us of our retirement and how hard it was for him but I can’t and won’t let it take my good memories.
We were married just short of 58 years when Henry died so as you say, many more years without dementia... I can't obliterate the dementia years but have fiercely refused to allow them to dominate. They still intrude but increasingly I feel in memory I have my husband back. The love is strong.
I hope reading this thread may help others....
Loo xx