My Mum, also 89 with a broken hip, is in theatre as I write. The drs have warned me that it is high risk and even if she survives the op things could go downhill quickly during rehab. I'll say a little prayer for them both.
Dad given days to live. Not coping!
- Thread starter LostOne
- Start date
Thankyou for you kind words @Lorrell28
Thank you @canary he seemed to settle last night so my sister and I decided to go and get some rest. I’m not sure how much sleep either of us got but I feel slightly better for the rest. He seems stable again this morning. He had a temperature which we’ve managed to bring down a little. His breathing is very shallow though but he doesn’t seem in any distress. Everytime that I think he’s ready to go he ends up getting more stable again and I’m finding it quite hard, I feel like he’s going to go when I’m not expecting it and I’m scared
Thank you @canary he seemed to settle last night so my sister and I decided to go and get some rest. I’m not sure how much sleep either of us got but I feel slightly better for the rest. He seems stable again this morning. He had a temperature which we’ve managed to bring down a little. His breathing is very shallow though but he doesn’t seem in any distress. Everytime that I think he’s ready to go he ends up getting more stable again and I’m finding it quite hard, I feel like he’s going to go when I’m not expecting it and I’m scared
It is very hard during this time I prepared myself each time dads limbs started with coldness moving up from his feet and then his knees would warm up!. That rollercoaster right until the end. Please try not to be scared the time will come when your dad is ready to let go...you are doing a fine job even now for your dad but I know from experience that without rest it will make this time for you even harder..it took one of the very kind nurses in dads NH to say to me 'you look very grey I am worried about you' and she wasn't referring to my hair...to make me go and have a sleep in their family room.Thankyou for you kind words @Lorrell28
Thank you @canary he seemed to settle last night so my sister and I decided to go and get some rest. I’m not sure how much sleep either of us got but I feel slightly better for the rest. He seems stable again this morning. He had a temperature which we’ve managed to bring down a little. His breathing is very shallow though but he doesn’t seem in any distress. Everytime that I think he’s ready to go he ends up getting more stable again and I’m finding it quite hard, I feel like he’s going to go when I’m not expecting it and I’m scared
@love.dad.but.. One of the care workers actually told me that I look exhausted when we stepped out of the room so they could change dad and she got it spot on, my eyes aren’t focusing and I feel like I’m loosing my balance a bit. I’m going to try and hold on a little longer today and hopefully get a really good nights sleep tonight so I can come back in the morning and be strong, not only for myself but for my sister and dad too..
I’m so glad I found this forum. You have all given me strength and courage to keep going x
I’m so glad I found this forum. You have all given me strength and courage to keep going x
Thanks @DollyBird16 I seem to be able to stand strong in the day like the adult that I am but in the evening I turn in to a wreck. I turn in to daddy’s little girl and all I want to do is climb in next to him and curl up in his arms. :’(
I’m just trying to find comfort in knowing he is as comfortable as he can be and listening to the sound of his breathing.
I’m just trying to find comfort in knowing he is as comfortable as he can be and listening to the sound of his breathing.
I just know I’d be the same.
You most definitely can still have a cuddle. No matter what age we are or where our parents are we’ll always be their little girl.
Don’t forget your own advice and rest tonight.
I’m not at the same place as you but I often say to myself, ‘What would my Mum tell me to do’ we just know they would say ‘Get some sleep,or you’ll be no good to no one’
Take care. XX
I’m sure your Dad feels as privileged as you do, to have you beside him. It bought great comfort to me to be with my husband in his last hours. Will keep you in my thoughts today.
It was a physical problem that took mum towards the end of February after a horrible two to three weeks. If there is a plus side, I expected to be caring for her for a long time yet and, as the dementia progressed, she was losing her dignity, losing her personality and, frankly, losing the will to live. She was not 'mum' any more. Maybe in months to come I will come to realise that it was a blessing. Not there yet though.
I'm thinking of you and send love and a virtual hand to hold.
I'm thinking of you and send love and a virtual hand to hold.
So after being told he only had hours left at 7am yesterday morning he’s still holding on.
This isn’t the first time they’ve done this. 3weeks ago they said he had 6months to a year, 5 days after that (on Sunday) they said we should come down as soon as possible as they don’t know if he would last until Thursday. We were planning to visit on Thursday as we live 2.5 hours away but came down the same day as receiving the call, now this. I just wish they wouldn’t give us a time frame and just let it run its course, otherwise we get ready to say goodbye, like this is it and then it doesn’t happen and it’s so exhausting. Don’t get me wrong I’m glad I get to spend another hour another day with him but I also don’t want him to have to live like this anymore. He’s so young his heart is so strong, he’s fighting so hard. I’ve been living in this hospital for over a week now, miles away from my Son. I’m just torn but I know I won’t leave his side. I’m even scared to go to the toilet incase he goes whilst I’m not there but I know he will go when he is ready and wants to xx
This isn’t the first time they’ve done this. 3weeks ago they said he had 6months to a year, 5 days after that (on Sunday) they said we should come down as soon as possible as they don’t know if he would last until Thursday. We were planning to visit on Thursday as we live 2.5 hours away but came down the same day as receiving the call, now this. I just wish they wouldn’t give us a time frame and just let it run its course, otherwise we get ready to say goodbye, like this is it and then it doesn’t happen and it’s so exhausting. Don’t get me wrong I’m glad I get to spend another hour another day with him but I also don’t want him to have to live like this anymore. He’s so young his heart is so strong, he’s fighting so hard. I’ve been living in this hospital for over a week now, miles away from my Son. I’m just torn but I know I won’t leave his side. I’m even scared to go to the toilet incase he goes whilst I’m not there but I know he will go when he is ready and wants to xx
My mum was like that.
Have you told him it is OK to go? Sometimes they wait for permission from their relatives.
It will end.
Have you told him it is OK to go? Sometimes they wait for permission from their relatives.
It will end.
Hey
Both myself and my sister have told him that it’s okay, you’ve been strong and it’s okay to rest now, we don’t want you to hurt anymore.
We’ve -reluctantly- given him a little space (when our favourite nurse was with him) incase he didnt want us to see him go. I think he’s just going to keep fighting until he’s too tired.
Both myself and my sister have told him that it’s okay, you’ve been strong and it’s okay to rest now, we don’t want you to hurt anymore.
We’ve -reluctantly- given him a little space (when our favourite nurse was with him) incase he didnt want us to see him go. I think he’s just going to keep fighting until he’s too tired.
