Hi
This is an overwhelming situation. I have found it hugely upsetting.
Mum (72) was diagnosed in February 2018 but we have noticed problems for the last couple of years. It's not so much memory loss. She has excellent recall but her levels of concentration are shocking. She has real issues with problem solving, even the very basic stuff. She just can't 'get' stuff.
She's very compliant and doesn't seem to have her own opinions anymore. She goes with whatever the last person has said. This worries me when it comes to having people in her house fixing things. She pays them whatever they ask for and doesn't question costs or ask for receipts.
Driving is another issue because she doesn't/can't keep her concentration. We have had her driving assessed and they have deemed her 'safe' for the next three months and I do think that has helped her case with the DVLA but she still likes to drive long distances to see her friends which the assessor and my sisters and I are discouraging. She loves driving but we recently moved her to a smaller house on a bus route so she is better placed to get about when she finally can't drive anymore.
My sisters and I have kept this to ourselves until close extended family started to notice early this year. I find it easier to deal with if I don't get texts from her or calls from family and friends who are now beginning to notice and are expressing concern. It guess it means it's all real and we are not imagining it.
Mum is passive about her problems. She doesn't really understand what she is doing and how noticeable it is to others. I can't talk to her like I used to. It gets my stomach churning every time she texts me a garbled message about her medication or who came to visit. She makes odd comments on Facebook and although always very literate, she often writes like a child using blunt language and unstructured sentences.
I am now not sure whether to instigate POA and how to do it. Luckily Mum set this up a couple of years ago but at what stage do I do this? She is very able to look after herself at home at the moment but she seems to be deteriorating rapidly which is alarming and I don't know why.
I am wondering whether I should start looking for 'help' in the form of someone who pops in on her a couple of times a week? I live an hour away so that's not too bad but have three kids, job etc and if I'd like to go THAT day, it's not always feasible. I can't just pop in.
I'd like her friend's number (a neighbour) but she says that I don't need it because nothing's going to happen but I want to explain it to them and ask them to keep an eye out so do I go behind Mum's back?
I don't want to upset Mum by suggesting extra, formal help, encouraging less driving, igniting the POA, but she needs it - even though [she says] she doesn't see the need.
I also don't know how to find her car insurance details. They'll need to be informed but it's all online and Mum can't remember the name of the insurer and will they talk to me? She doesn't remember old passwords etc.
She has terrible sleeping problems too which is partly been an issue but now I think it's more chaotic.
The doctor has given her 10mg Tempazepam but she only takes a third - sometimes twice a night I think - and still wakes up. She says she's hooked - but she's not. She doesn't take enough and can go nights without it. I have put all the pills in daily pill pots but she still texts me asking what she should take and when. I went with her to the doctor about her sleeping problems but it was pretty pointless. Mum couldn't answer the question and kept saying she was fine. Very hard for the Doc to diagnose and help her and I am not there in the night so I don't know how she really sleeps. The story keeps changing. Anyone else had this issue. What did you do? Can she go to a sleep clinic for assessment or is this something she has to put up with? Sorry for the long brain dump. This is all so hideous.
This is an overwhelming situation. I have found it hugely upsetting.
Mum (72) was diagnosed in February 2018 but we have noticed problems for the last couple of years. It's not so much memory loss. She has excellent recall but her levels of concentration are shocking. She has real issues with problem solving, even the very basic stuff. She just can't 'get' stuff.
She's very compliant and doesn't seem to have her own opinions anymore. She goes with whatever the last person has said. This worries me when it comes to having people in her house fixing things. She pays them whatever they ask for and doesn't question costs or ask for receipts.
Driving is another issue because she doesn't/can't keep her concentration. We have had her driving assessed and they have deemed her 'safe' for the next three months and I do think that has helped her case with the DVLA but she still likes to drive long distances to see her friends which the assessor and my sisters and I are discouraging. She loves driving but we recently moved her to a smaller house on a bus route so she is better placed to get about when she finally can't drive anymore.
My sisters and I have kept this to ourselves until close extended family started to notice early this year. I find it easier to deal with if I don't get texts from her or calls from family and friends who are now beginning to notice and are expressing concern. It guess it means it's all real and we are not imagining it.
Mum is passive about her problems. She doesn't really understand what she is doing and how noticeable it is to others. I can't talk to her like I used to. It gets my stomach churning every time she texts me a garbled message about her medication or who came to visit. She makes odd comments on Facebook and although always very literate, she often writes like a child using blunt language and unstructured sentences.
I am now not sure whether to instigate POA and how to do it. Luckily Mum set this up a couple of years ago but at what stage do I do this? She is very able to look after herself at home at the moment but she seems to be deteriorating rapidly which is alarming and I don't know why.
I am wondering whether I should start looking for 'help' in the form of someone who pops in on her a couple of times a week? I live an hour away so that's not too bad but have three kids, job etc and if I'd like to go THAT day, it's not always feasible. I can't just pop in.
I'd like her friend's number (a neighbour) but she says that I don't need it because nothing's going to happen but I want to explain it to them and ask them to keep an eye out so do I go behind Mum's back?
I don't want to upset Mum by suggesting extra, formal help, encouraging less driving, igniting the POA, but she needs it - even though [she says] she doesn't see the need.
I also don't know how to find her car insurance details. They'll need to be informed but it's all online and Mum can't remember the name of the insurer and will they talk to me? She doesn't remember old passwords etc.
She has terrible sleeping problems too which is partly been an issue but now I think it's more chaotic.
The doctor has given her 10mg Tempazepam but she only takes a third - sometimes twice a night I think - and still wakes up. She says she's hooked - but she's not. She doesn't take enough and can go nights without it. I have put all the pills in daily pill pots but she still texts me asking what she should take and when. I went with her to the doctor about her sleeping problems but it was pretty pointless. Mum couldn't answer the question and kept saying she was fine. Very hard for the Doc to diagnose and help her and I am not there in the night so I don't know how she really sleeps. The story keeps changing. Anyone else had this issue. What did you do? Can she go to a sleep clinic for assessment or is this something she has to put up with? Sorry for the long brain dump. This is all so hideous.
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