Clean clothes!

Mudgee Joy

Registered User
Dec 26, 2017
675
0
New South Wales Australia
Your post takes me back to the same devious mime and charades I had to go through with my dad. It struck me then and still does nearly a year after he passed away...the mental effort and joined up thinking it must take to be devious when other simple tasks or routines are forgotten. Baffling
Hi,
My Dad gets recurring UTIs and I've put it down to the fact he refuses to change his wet underwear. He has a carer who helps him to wash and dress in the morning but when I am helping him to bed in the evening, he refuses to change them even though they are clearly wet. He gets very angry and distressed if I try and push the matter and he will say things like 'i might as well go and wander the streets' or 'i might as well jump out of the window'. I've started to just leave it to avoid the confrontation but want to try and prevent the UTIs as it makes his behavior worse, he's had two falls in the last week. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Dear @May30 - my thoughts are -
any chance you could get the carer / showerer to come in the afternoon. ! Better to go to sleep dry !
There are products for helping keep the UT clear - powders that you put into a drink. Ural is the brand here in Oz.
But also try to Reduce Liquids in the evenings.
I am scared of UTI as they cause delerium in my husband - I have anti biotics on hand in case !! All the best M-joy .
 

john1939

Registered User
Sep 21, 2017
200
0
Newtownabbey
My wife has a problem with personal hygene, she just does not do any. I enlisted help from my two daughters a few days ago. They came to the house and announced to my wife that her GP was coming to give her a full examination. No ifs or buts. They marched her into the bathroom and watched as she got into the shower.
Clean clothes were then provided. Later she was taken to the hairdresser for a wash and cut. She totally forgot about the GP visit fiction.
I suggested that she should take a shower once a week but was met with a barrage of abuse, so my daughters will be handling the showering event. from now on.
 

rhubarbtree

Registered User
Jan 7, 2015
501
0
North West
My wife has a problem with personal hygene, she just does not do any. I enlisted help from my two daughters a few days ago. They came to the house and announced to my wife that her GP was coming to give her a full examination. No ifs or buts. They marched her into the bathroom and watched as she got into the shower.
Clean clothes were then provided. Later she was taken to the hairdresser for a wash and cut. She totally forgot about the GP visit fiction.
I suggested that she should take a shower once a week but was met with a barrage of abuse, so my daughters will be handling the showering event. from now on.

Well done those daughters. Family all singing from same sheet. That's the way to go.
 

Mudgee Joy

Registered User
Dec 26, 2017
675
0
New South Wales Australia
My OH will always clean and shower for a visit to the doctor!!.:D
Only problem is if I tell him the day before he wants to get ready in the middle of the night !
For that reason I try not to tell him anything about tomorrow- next week is ok.
Just it’s great that yout daughters are helping !! You can have a specialist appointment every week !!! All the best M-Joy
 

Sally Jones

Registered User
Jan 6, 2016
3
0
I have a similar problem.
I have duplicates of many of his clothes.
I remove the dirty ones as he takes them off and replace them with the identical clean ones that he then wears.
 

Nanawendy6

Registered User
Sep 17, 2014
62
0
6 months ago I could leave clean clothes on his bed and he’d put dirty clothes in basket. Important as he hasn’t showered nearly a year. Then I was taking dirty clothes out when he was asleep. He then started to take trousers to bed with him which meant I had to pull them from under him and hope he didn’t wake. Last week he started to go to bed in day fully dressed. Four days ago he refused to undress at all. Turned up heating very high last night hoping if room was really warm he’d put on pjs but no luck just gripped clothes and sheet tighter and glared at me. I’ll keep trying but it’s another challenge.
 

Chrismitch

Registered User
Jun 23, 2011
127
0
My OH would put clean clothes on ok but I kept having to throw away pillows. They were black even though he showered himself every day. So one day I observed. He never washed his neck, ever. So from then on I stayed in the bathroom chatting to him and I prompted him to wash each bit of his body after another. That worked well for a long time until he was unable to understand when I asked him to turn or wash the other ear, then I did it for him, until he got stroppy ..... it’s all about adapting to their changing needs.
 

Nanawendy6

Registered User
Sep 17, 2014
62
0
Had a tiny success this morning. Thought I’d see if Mudgee Joys way works but substituted coffee shop. Persuaded husband to change his jumper not exactly happy but he allowed me to help him take it off. Told him we couldn’t go out for cake until he changed his jumper - took a few repetitions but then he did it. Tried trousers too absolutely no luck . Just walked past me put his coat and shoes on. Left him watching television for an hour and a half this afternoon when I came back he was sitting in a shirt. So doesn’t like the jumper!
 

Mudgee Joy

Registered User
Dec 26, 2017
675
0
New South Wales Australia
Each and everyone may have a different preferred activity !! So it’s good to try different options.
I think ready some of the other carers replies makes me a little anxious as to what the future holds :confused:
It really is a roller coaster - sometimes their failing memory is as asset !! When I loose it and he doesn’t seem recall my very bad manners :D
A V e r y L o n g J o u r n e y
 

Grahamstown

Registered User
Jan 12, 2018
1,746
0
84
East of England
Since my last update on this thread, I have bought a fluffy cotton baby blanket navy with white stars on it so not too baby like. He absolutely loves it and has it tuck round his neck every night. I can see that it will be great when we go away, not that we go very often now, because he always complains about the bedding.
 

GeG-Canada

Registered User
Feb 4, 2018
33
0
BC Canada
I remove the dirty ones as he takes them off and replace them with the identical clean ones that he then wears.
that is what I've had to do today, go and buy the exact article of clothing he likes.

He wouldn't let me 'wash' the ones he was wearing, because he was wearing them!

We had a 'new clothes' shopping trip. He quite enjoyed it .
 

Mudgee Joy

Registered User
Dec 26, 2017
675
0
New South Wales Australia
My husband is very attached to the new kids yellow toothbrush that I bought him - I think it’s supposed to be a duck. o_O
It’s great - as he has stopped taking my toothbrush - it rather suggests that bright unusual items can get noticed and can get attached to ... I will keep my eyes open for a really fun blanket !! :p Maybe a crazy pillow case . X