My uncle has dementia and is being cared for by my aunt, who is 85. He is doubly incontinent and very confused. He went into respite care a couple of weeks ago and unfortunately fell and broke his hip. He is in hospital at the moment, but due to come out in a couple of days. The problem is that my aunt is exhausted and just cant cope caring for him any longer. She has a social worker and asked whether it would be possible for my uncle to move back to the care home permanently but the social worker said he cant, even though there is room. She has had a financial assessment. Can anyone suggest a solution to this sad situation.
Can social worker block uncle going into carehome?
- Thread starter Poppyrab1
- Start date
Hi Poppy, welcome to TP
Tell the social worker that your aunt is going to come and live with you and give her the spare keys to the house so she can let herself in when she takes him come from the hospital.
If the result of the financial assessment was that he is self funding then you don't need the social worker's permission to put him back in the home. If the LA are funding then they have a big motive for wanting your aunt to take him back.
K
Tell the social worker that your aunt is going to come and live with you and give her the spare keys to the house so she can let herself in when she takes him come from the hospital.
If the result of the financial assessment was that he is self funding then you don't need the social worker's permission to put him back in the home. If the LA are funding then they have a big motive for wanting your aunt to take him back.
K
Your aunt has no duty of care. What she has to do is refuse to take him back home. Remove his house keys and make it impossible for anyone to return him. I know it sounds harsh but if faced with a Social Worker like that, the time for "asking nicely" is over. Your aunt cannot be forced to care for him and she needs to make her refusal crystal clear to all the relevant authorities. If no best interest meeting has been held yet, ask for one. A person cannot be discharged without a proper care package in place. If that care package consists of your aunt, who has carers breakdown, it is inadequate. Time to get feisty, I'm afraid. When my OH was in hospital with total loss of mobility, they wanted to discharge him as soon as he was "medically fit". I refused as I couldn't care for someone without mobility at home, it would have made both of us housebound. As a result of my refusal, he was transferred to a nursing home. And no, I didn't make this decision lightly, but sometimes there is no other way.
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Thanks K, His care will be LA funded, hence being instructed by the Social Worker. Unfortunately we live 200 miles away from my aunt and she doesn't travel well, so cant stay with us. Just heard that the hospital rang her to say they can keep him till next Tuesday and will the move him to an interim care home for 2 weeks. At least it will give us a bit more time to try and get it sorted. I feel so sorry for her, she has done her best for the last year, but it is just impossible now.
Thanks Beate, sorry you've been through the same situation. Its bad enough having a loved one being ill, without all the worry attached regarding their on-going care. Sadly this is probably happening all over the country. I fully appreciate that social workers have a difficult job juggling to get things right, but in certain cases common sense must tell them that elderly frail spouses cannot be expected to look after very ill partners if they are struggling on a daily basis. Hopefully we will get my uncle settled soon.
You don't literally need to move your aunt in with you, it's just a way to make the SS realise they have to sort something out and none of the family, even his wife are going to help, just saying you're going to do it will make them have a rethink.
If the LA may have to fund anything from £500 to triple that depending on his needs and the location then they're going to look at all the alternatives first and the main one is your aunt.
As Beate says the time for asking is over, it's time to tell them. It's an ugly game of poker playing with peoples lives not money and the hand they're playing is that as we all care for the people we love and that your aunt will fold (as they say in poker when you throw your cards in), you have to call their bluff. No aunt, no discharge home...no choice LA face up to your legal responsibility.
K
If the LA may have to fund anything from £500 to triple that depending on his needs and the location then they're going to look at all the alternatives first and the main one is your aunt.
As Beate says the time for asking is over, it's time to tell them. It's an ugly game of poker playing with peoples lives not money and the hand they're playing is that as we all care for the people we love and that your aunt will fold (as they say in poker when you throw your cards in), you have to call their bluff. No aunt, no discharge home...no choice LA face up to your legal responsibility.
K
Hi Poppy, no offence to Kevinl but please don't do or say as he has suggested 
Beate is spot on - and that is the correct phrase to use when relaying this to the SW - the duty of care lies with the state not with ANY family member.
Your Uncle is a 'vulnerable adult' and the SW cannot sign off for your Uncle to be taken back to his home without ensuring his safety and welfare are adequately taken care of. If there is any attempt to send your Uncle home reiterate that you, and the law, will hold the SW and the local PCT entirely responsible for your Uncle's well being and that sending him home is entirely in their hands and that ALL arrangements must be made by them, now, ie. before your Uncle leaves hospital/temporary care, and in the future.
And your Aunt has every right to continue to live in her own home without taking any responsibility for the care of your Uncle.
Time to be resolute and firm! And remember.... 'No' is a complete sentence
Beate is spot on - and that is the correct phrase to use when relaying this to the SW - the duty of care lies with the state not with ANY family member.
Your Uncle is a 'vulnerable adult' and the SW cannot sign off for your Uncle to be taken back to his home without ensuring his safety and welfare are adequately taken care of. If there is any attempt to send your Uncle home reiterate that you, and the law, will hold the SW and the local PCT entirely responsible for your Uncle's well being and that sending him home is entirely in their hands and that ALL arrangements must be made by them, now, ie. before your Uncle leaves hospital/temporary care, and in the future.
And your Aunt has every right to continue to live in her own home without taking any responsibility for the care of your Uncle.
Time to be resolute and firm! And remember.... 'No' is a complete sentence
Hi Poppy, no offence to Kevinl but please don't do or say as he has suggested
There speaks the voice of someone who's never had to deal with a social worker who wants to send someone entirely unfit back home or who was lucky enough to get a good social worker.
You don't have to be on here for long to see the stories of people being discharged back to a family who can't cope far outweigh the stories of people resisting their PWD being put into care when that's not what they want and isn't for the best.
Social workers vary and some can be very pushy and a simple "no" just isn't enough, some can be very persuasive. Often the threat that the care home will be out of the area, miles away or somewhere "you might not like" are used as a lever, the nastier ones just make you feel guilty that you're letting the PWD down.
You've obviously never seen the other side of how some, and that is some, not all work.
The OP says "She has a social worker and asked whether it would be possible for my uncle to move back to the care home permanently but the social worker said he cant" so just saying no isn't working so far.
K
Now he is in interim care your Aunt should ask for a full assessment - they should do one anyway and that will determine whether he could be provided with care at home safely or whether he needs a care home. They will take into account the views of your Aunt but ultimately if the assessment determines that he can cope safely with care at home then that is what will happen if the LA are funding it is their decision.
