6 days without fluids now

[Anitka]

my mum is in the final stages of this awful disease, she hasn't eaten for 9 days and had no fluids for 6. She had been having epileptic fits for the last 6 months, which were being controlled with varying degrees of success. 9 days ago she had to be admitted to hospital as the fitting wouldn't stop, that was Shen she was last hydrated as they put her on a drip. She's been back at the home now for a week and had no fluids since.the fitting is still happening but to a much lesser degree. She has been having Cheyenne stokes breathing patterns since last Thursday (its now Sunday) and hasn't woken up at all.
How long can she go on? It's so painful to watch, she has a syringe driver so she's not in too much pain, but does seem distressed with the irregular breathing,. But 6 days with no fluids? Just some support and advice on what to expect in the next few days would help. Thank you

 

[LadyA]

@Anitka I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. It's a dreadful time. If your mum is havng Cheyne Stokes breathing, then I'm sure it can't go on for too much longer, but people can surprise us with how strongly they cling on.

Talk to your mum, even if she's not conscious. Tell her that you know how tired she must be. Assure her that you and the family will all be fine. That everything is taken care of, and that it's ok for her to go, that you will be ok. And if someone is sitting with her all the time, tbh, I would advise leaving some short breaks when she is by herself. Sometimes (often) a person seems to not want to go in front of the family. You could sit there for days, slip out to the loo for two minutes, come back and find they'd gone while you were out.

And if you can, and want to, do keep posting here. You won't be alone.

 

[Amethyst59]

I am so very sorry that you are in this sad situation. Another member on here is too, keeping a vigil with her mum, who has had no fluids for ten days now. This is so distressing to witness...but I think and truly believe, that your mum is not distressed in her mind. Her body is struggling, and that is what you see. Evidently hearing is the last sense we lose, so keep doing what you are doing, holding her hand, talking, singing, whatever feels natural to you. This is the very last service we can offer to our loved ones. It is incredibly hard...but you are being strong and doing it for her...just as she once kept a long and hard vigil during your birth.

 

[lemonjuice]

Been where you are now just a few week's back and would agree with all the other posters, to pace yourself. Do and say whatever you feel you need to, but don't feel 'pressurised' to be there all the time.
I'm praying you will all soon be at peace.

 

[canary]

(((((Hugs))))) @Anitka
Such a difficult time, but if she is Cheyne Stokes breathing and on a syringe driver, then I think it probably a matter of hours now

 

[Anitka]

Been where you are now just a few week's back and would agree with all the other posters, to pace yourself. Do and say whatever you feel you need to, but don't feel 'pressurised' to be there all the time.
I'm praying you will all soon be at peace.

Thank you lemon juice! We're on the 9th day of no fluids now. Her heart is still pretty strong, it must be to pump around blood that hasn't been hydrated for so long. I live 250 miles away, so will stay with her as I don't think I could drive home anyway only to come back soon after. It so helps to know there are people like you willing to take the time to respond, despite your recent loss. I'm so sorry..xxx

 

[Anitka]

(((((Hugs))))) @Anitka
Such a difficult time, but if she is Cheyne Stokes breathing and on a syringe driver, then I think it probably a matter of hours now

Hello Canary, she's still here, bless her! Tough war child with a very strong heart. Thank you for taking the time to respond xx

 

[love.dad.but..]

My dad lasted 6 days no fluids and each time the cheyne stokes breathing changed I thought this is the time but then his breathing settled although still Cheyne stokes. Then just as I thought he could go on for ages like that he suddenly went. It is still a rollercoaster of an illness even at that stage.Someone told me that their mum went for 20 days without fluids. Horrid time for you but hopefully your mum is comfortable and am sure like many of us who have now gone through the final phase you are still doing your very best for her x

 

[Little Rose]

@Anitka I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. It's a dreadful time. If your mum is havng Cheyne Stokes breathing, then I'm sure it can't go on for too much longer, but people can surprise us with how strongly they cling on.

Talk to your mum, even if she's not conscious. Tell her that you know how tired she must be. Assure her that you and the family will all be fine. That everything is taken care of, and that it's ok for her to go, that you will be ok. And if someone is sitting with her all the time, tbh, I would advise leaving some short breaks when she is by herself. Sometimes (often) a person seems to not want to go in front of the family. You could sit there for days, slip out to the loo for two minutes, come back and find they'd gone while you were out.

And if you can, and want to, do keep posting here. You won't be alone.

My mum has had vascular dementia for past 8 yrs. She is not eating or drinking for past 5 days. Am waiting for a syringe driver to be put in. Can we demand this or is it up to the district nurse. She is still in her care home. She has started end of life meds.how long can this last?

 

[lemonjuice]

Tough war child with a very strong heart.

Having had in-laws who lived till their mid 90s and my mother, who despite her dementia lived till just shy of 90, I've often said that generation, born between the wars is especially tough. They survived to adulthood, despite lack of anti-biotics and yet had possibly a healthier lifestyle than many today. They are quite extra-ordinarily tough and I doubt we shall see so many of their like again.

 

[Anitka]

My dad lasted 6 days no fluids and each time the cheyne stokes breathing changed I thought this is the time but then his breathing settled although still Cheyne stokes. Then just as I thought he could go on for ages like that he suddenly went. It is still a rollercoaster of an illness even at that stage.Someone told me that their mum went for 20 days without fluids. Horrid time for you but hopefully your mum is comfortable and am sure like many of us who have now gone through the final phase you are still doing your very best for her x

Having had in-laws who lived till their mid 90s and my mother, who despite her dementia lived till just shy of 90, I've often said that generation, born between the wars is especially tough. They survived to adulthood, despite lack of anti-biotics and yet had possibly a healthier lifestyle than many today. They are quite extra-ordinarly tough and I doubt we shall see so many of their like again.

Yes, they are amazing. She's now on day 9 with no fluids. Her pulse is still strong and she's still wee-ing! She's in a Polish Home and they go on for ever. They had one lady who went on for 16 days after stopping fluids.

 

[love.dad.but..]

Having had in-laws who lived till their mid 90s and my mother, who despite her dementia lived till just shy of 90, I've often said that generation, born between the wars is especially tough. They survived to adulthood, despite lack of anti-biotics and yet had possibly a healthier lifestyle than many today. They are quite extra-ordinarly tough and I doubt we shall see so many of their like again.

I agree there is something in what you say...generally that generation had to cope and deal with things at a young age that many of us will never have to experience. I saw part of that resilience in dad during his dementia decline..both mum and dad started from a very poor childhood all their parents died when my parents were in their early twenties.....mums mantra was always who would have thought we would have got to our eighties...although she could have lasted one day longer than her 80th! Dad was always...just keep going dear, keep going...regardless of any obstacles in life....definately saw that at his end of life without fluids.

 

[Top 2toe]

My dad is in last stage Alzheimer's he has been 13 days today without food or water. He has a morphine patch on and has a syringe driver with sedatives and something to stop seizures. Its breaking my heart to see him as he is literally skin and bone and just keeps going on. He is sometimes conscious and sometimes out of it, although he hasn't known us for about a year and has been bed bound all that time.
I have only just found this site and you think you are the only one going through this most awful time, but reading other posts at least if gives you a bit of comfort knowing that you are not the only one. The home he's in are wonderful with dad and they really care for him. I went and sat with him this afternoon but had to go back tonight just to tell him I love him and thanks for being a wonderful dad as I am working 12 hours tomorrow and won't be able to see him.

 

[SuzL]

Hi Anitka. I am going through exactly this with my grandfather now. He has not eaten anything at all for two weeks and is now on day 6 of no fluids - prior to this he was spitting most liquid out so has had very little for 4 weeks. He has faded in the last week and is for the last 4 days virtually unresponsive. Every night I am waiting for the call. But he's clinging on. Nurses are surprised. He is 94. Tough as old boots! It's very hard living on tenderhooks all the time. Take care of yourself and make sure you get some rest too x

 

[Izzy]

@Anitka, @Top 2toe and @SuzL - thinking of you all.

 

[lindad123456789]

It's a tough time..sat with my mother in law for days..as soon as we left for a break..she passed away....Hugs

 

[SuzL]

My gramps lost his fight last night
7 days with no fluids. 4 weeks barely eating or drinking. He's at peace now.

 

[Izzy]

I’m so sorry to read your news @SuzL. I’m glad your gramps is at peace now and wish you strength.

 

[LadyA]

My gramps lost his fight last night
7 days with no fluids. 4 weeks barely eating or drinking. He's at peace now.

I'm sorry for your loss, SuzL. As you say, he's at peace now, but still a big loss for the family.

 

[malengwa]

Sorry to hear that suzyl, it's been tough for you. Take the time you need to grieve, hold onto happier memories to keep you going.
thinking of you