Hi
Mum has been in a lovely care home for 3 months now...my sister brother and i put her there 3 months after dad died because we had tried looki g after her ourselves with carers, and one week of live in care which wasnt very successful. We were exhausted after a difficult time while dad was ill and mums behaviour not easy.
The home say she has settled well, however i dont agree. She tells me she woukd just love to be back in her own home, with the freedom to walk in to her own kitchen and make some toast, potter in her own garden, etc. Her alzheimers is late onset, and she is still fully mobile, needs help with bathing, but is still quite independent in many ways. She is quite lucid much of the time but her short term memory is very poor. She helps other residents in the home ( many are very much worse than her!) She has built good relationships with the carers who are wonderful. Also with some residents. However i am continually fretting about whether we should bring her home and try live in care again, or aother idea recently ...my brother and his wife have offered to move in with her and care for her if it works. This would also be a way of saving her house as within the next 4 months her savings will have run out and we will need to sell her house! Another worry.
So you see my dilemma. I feel so guilty and am constantly worrying about her happiness, when i visit or just before i leave her she starts on about coming home and gets very cross with me when i say she is safe and looked after well where she is...she gets angry and tells me to get out. I think about thjs all the time and wonder if it would work ? We could use day centre services and other support to give family living with her a break. My sister and i would also help of course.
If if didnt work then we could put her back in the care home and at least we would havs tried it, and done everything we could.
Has anyone had a similiar experience?
Mum has been in a lovely care home for 3 months now...my sister brother and i put her there 3 months after dad died because we had tried looki g after her ourselves with carers, and one week of live in care which wasnt very successful. We were exhausted after a difficult time while dad was ill and mums behaviour not easy.
The home say she has settled well, however i dont agree. She tells me she woukd just love to be back in her own home, with the freedom to walk in to her own kitchen and make some toast, potter in her own garden, etc. Her alzheimers is late onset, and she is still fully mobile, needs help with bathing, but is still quite independent in many ways. She is quite lucid much of the time but her short term memory is very poor. She helps other residents in the home ( many are very much worse than her!) She has built good relationships with the carers who are wonderful. Also with some residents. However i am continually fretting about whether we should bring her home and try live in care again, or aother idea recently ...my brother and his wife have offered to move in with her and care for her if it works. This would also be a way of saving her house as within the next 4 months her savings will have run out and we will need to sell her house! Another worry.
So you see my dilemma. I feel so guilty and am constantly worrying about her happiness, when i visit or just before i leave her she starts on about coming home and gets very cross with me when i say she is safe and looked after well where she is...she gets angry and tells me to get out. I think about thjs all the time and wonder if it would work ? We could use day centre services and other support to give family living with her a break. My sister and i would also help of course.
If if didnt work then we could put her back in the care home and at least we would havs tried it, and done everything we could.
Has anyone had a similiar experience?