Hello,
My partner has recently been diagnosed with Frontotemporal Lobe Dementia, the behavioural variant although she also has quite serious memory loss too.
I have given up work, which I loved, to care for her. I am coming to terms with not working anymore but caring for her is a horrible strain.
She has previously, around the time her symptoms became quite pronounced, drunk too much alcohol but over the past couple of years she has stopped drinking. Now that her FTD is getting to the moderate stage she repeatedly says "I just want to die" and so thinks that drinking whisky will finish her off. So she is doing whatever she can to drink as much as she can. This entails her walking to the local corner shop and swigging from the bottle on the way home and then passing out, sometimes on the doorstep. She is taking medication to make her feel unwell if she drinks but either forgets or just doesn't care. She has also started smoking recently and can get through 3 packets a day. I don't have any alcohol in the house and now can't go out for a meal/socialise in many places because of the temptation for her to drink. She would not be content with one glass and would drink uncontrollably. She refuses to eat meat and vegetables, or 'normal' food and constantly eats sweets and chocolate through the day. Her teeth are suffering as a result. There seems no reasoning with her on any count.
I take her to support groups, to garden centres, to visit her 85 year old mum and we spend time with our wider family. She doesn't really have much by way of conversation anymore, except for a few phrases which she repeats over and over, but will answer questions. She also has a carer visit to help occupy her mind once a week. I try to engage her in activities but her attention span is very short. She says she is bored but there is so much that needs doing, but she has no impetus or drive to do it.
She does nothing in the house, no cooking, cleaning, won't walk the dog, drive, cut the grass or anything save vacuum very badly.
I am at my wits end. I am tired of trying to care for someone who clearly doesn't care about herself or anyone else. She has no compassion or empathy any more and has become a selfish and moody character, who I have to tip toe around.
Her hygiene habits are poor, but manageable. Its really her behaviour I am struggling with. Does anyone else have any advice at all please? I am thinking of getting her bank cards stopped, or the PINs changed. I do have a Lasting Power of Attorney in place. That way she will struggle to buy the drink and I can, begrudgingly, buy the cigarettes for her.
I am sorry this post has been so long!
My partner has recently been diagnosed with Frontotemporal Lobe Dementia, the behavioural variant although she also has quite serious memory loss too.
I have given up work, which I loved, to care for her. I am coming to terms with not working anymore but caring for her is a horrible strain.
She has previously, around the time her symptoms became quite pronounced, drunk too much alcohol but over the past couple of years she has stopped drinking. Now that her FTD is getting to the moderate stage she repeatedly says "I just want to die" and so thinks that drinking whisky will finish her off. So she is doing whatever she can to drink as much as she can. This entails her walking to the local corner shop and swigging from the bottle on the way home and then passing out, sometimes on the doorstep. She is taking medication to make her feel unwell if she drinks but either forgets or just doesn't care. She has also started smoking recently and can get through 3 packets a day. I don't have any alcohol in the house and now can't go out for a meal/socialise in many places because of the temptation for her to drink. She would not be content with one glass and would drink uncontrollably. She refuses to eat meat and vegetables, or 'normal' food and constantly eats sweets and chocolate through the day. Her teeth are suffering as a result. There seems no reasoning with her on any count.
I take her to support groups, to garden centres, to visit her 85 year old mum and we spend time with our wider family. She doesn't really have much by way of conversation anymore, except for a few phrases which she repeats over and over, but will answer questions. She also has a carer visit to help occupy her mind once a week. I try to engage her in activities but her attention span is very short. She says she is bored but there is so much that needs doing, but she has no impetus or drive to do it.
She does nothing in the house, no cooking, cleaning, won't walk the dog, drive, cut the grass or anything save vacuum very badly.
I am at my wits end. I am tired of trying to care for someone who clearly doesn't care about herself or anyone else. She has no compassion or empathy any more and has become a selfish and moody character, who I have to tip toe around.
Her hygiene habits are poor, but manageable. Its really her behaviour I am struggling with. Does anyone else have any advice at all please? I am thinking of getting her bank cards stopped, or the PINs changed. I do have a Lasting Power of Attorney in place. That way she will struggle to buy the drink and I can, begrudgingly, buy the cigarettes for her.
I am sorry this post has been so long!