Grumpy OH
- Thread starter Beads
- Start date
I wish I had words to help. I'm glad you can share here. I hope that helps a little.
Hi Beads, hope your day will be ok today. Yes my son does worry about me and I worry about him! Cos he's burned his boats coming back to the Madhouse - think he thought of it as only temporary and now certain circumstances have thrown a spanner in the works. Feel the last thing he needs is to be witnessing daily all the stuff here, at least before he had a bolthole. Feel for you, thinking that you might have had an escape route that was foiled by dementia. That old sense of duty and conscience is a bummer isn't it? I had the carers association phone me yesterday to book a carers assessment appt over the phone. They mentioned the daycare/memory cafe stuff too, so I broached the subject with husband..........haha non starter really but no one can say I haven't tried! Completely understand your resentment cos that's exactly how I feel, that one person can have such an effect on everyone else's life, it's great we can voice that on here isn't it? That retirement is so different from what it should be. I'm walking about mentally (and sometimes audibly) muttering to myself. I used to be a laid back nicer person. Ah well. You're so good getting back to everyone on here, so you are obviously a nice person........thinking about others when your day to day life is sh***y. Thank you and I hope you have a reasonable day there xx
Just read your post and am sending all the mental best wishes I can. This sounds so hard for you. Xxx
Hi longlostfan hope you have a peaceful day too. Sorry that things have not turned out as your son would have wanted them too. You never know could all work out for him eventually hope so. Ye like yourself the day care is a non starter here too. Maybe long way down the line who knows. I used to be so chilled also ,now I find myself some days really ratty. Yesterday went for my walk , the thing is when I'm out I really am not bothered about coming back. So we walked a bit further than usual. On the way back my foot & leg started to play up again. Pulled something the other week when we were away. So when I got in I was limping ,OH was in kitchen never said what's wrong what have you done nothing. But hey ho don't know why I am even bothering mentioning it as before the dementia he was just the same .So today I have my sock back on for support hence no walking. Daughter been so we had good chat that was nice love family coming home . OH still in bed gotta get him up shortly got Warfarin app this afternoon. It will be fun when I wake him & say about having shower & shave. I will get the usual potty mouth comments. If it wasn't for the fact this app was necessary he could stop in bed out of my way. Well that's my rant for today. Or is it there could be more when I wake him . Speak soon longlostfan xx
MIA, you are really my on line family. I am so grateful to all of you
Last edited by a moderator:
OH Margherita hope as the day goes on you feel a little better. I thought that post you wrote about been in bed you mustn't be well. It's hard isn't it not to loose it because we try our hardest for them & when we have an off day .(Which by the way we not supposed too. ) We just get on with it but it only takes the slightest thing to trigger & we loose it. Like your OH mine is exactly the same no empathy couldn't care less but always been the same. Ye they are like children if they don't like what we say back to them, they take offence. Then come out with things just like your OHdid about medication. You know damn well he won't take it properly. I would have replied the same as you. That's good you go shopping on your own & as you say no repetivness. Hip hip hooray. If he is like my OH the no speaking will go on ages. It goes on that long here I forget what he is not speaking for, but as I have said numerous times this is the treatment I have had all my life with him. Anyway enough about them , I hope where you are it is lovely & sunny that cheers you up well it does me. However here atm it is cold wet & windy . Well gonna do lunch something light, think I will have a wrap with vegetables. I am trying to loose weight. With not much success ha ha ha. Speak soon Margherita......
Well OH got up had no shower .Had his lunch then I said to him he had app at Warfarin clinic later. Here we go potty mouth again. "Waste of ------- time going there" & more. We eventually get there it had dropped again nurse asks has anything changed. He looks directly at me for answers . As he hasn't got a clue about all of his medication. Anyway increased his tablets. No talking from him all the way there & back face like thunder. Aaw he can carry on I'm just ignoring him he is like a spoilt child. My daughter asked me if I wanted to go with them for day out Saturday. I am definitely going he can look after himself. He's always telling me (that is when he is speaking ) .I don't need you why don't you just ) you can guess the rest. Told you all there would be another rant today. Can read him like a book a bad one at that. Well teatime . Speak soon all. .....
Good afternoon all. Just catching up on the posts from the last couple of days. Thank you @Beads and @MIA56 for your words of encouragement. The GP prescribed Betahistine to help my husband's balance and dizziness - not sure it's doing much yet though. I did manage to make contact with the Admiral Nurse though and have made an appointment to meet her. I'm feeling a bit less overwhelmed since I sat down and made a big list of all the things that have been keeping me awake at night and wrote down how I was going to deal with each one. New tyres for the car was one thing, so that's been sorted today. Next job is to get new windscreen wipers and read up on how to fit them. Then I need to see if we have any windscreen washer fluid and find out where to top up the screen washer bottle before it runs out. Not major problems but it's all these little things that build up and threaten to overwhelm me. Difficult shopping trip - OH said he wanted to come and then when we got to the shop he decided he didn't really want to be there but instead of going and sitting in the car and waiting he just behaved like a petulant child. Got home and he promptly fell asleep on the couch while I got his lunch ready. Woke up, ate his sandwich and then slept most of the afternoon. The adult mental health service wanted to postpone our post-diagnosis counselling session for a month because a member of staff is ill but I dug my heels in and we now have a new appointment for next Wednesday, which is actually a day earlier than the original one - so that's a result. I've got so many questions I really didn't want to wait another whole month to ask them. Wishing you all a good evening and restful night.
My husband has been on it for a year and it is doing well.
I took it myself when I suffered from dizzines related to labyrinth issues
Hi Beads, you did well to accept your daughter's invitation. My husband, too, says he does not need me, but five minutes after telling me , he calls me because he needs something.
I, too, ignore him when he is angry with me. I am annoyed by his silence because he uses it as a sort of punishment for my insubordination, but I do not actually miss conversation with him
Thanks, Beads, I feel better.
My husband did not talk to me till he woke up after his afternoon nap. He went to bed a resentful man and got out of it a different person.
I did not ask him about his change of mood.
Till some time ago I tried to understand, now I have given up.
I take note and go on
Oh Beads that sounds awful. How on earth do we all carry on? Daft question, we have to and so we do, at least we can all rant to each other. And of course this thing of "I can look after myself" etc when that's a non-starter, when meals/washing blah blah are done by you alone without appreciation, that's the last straw. When people say "that's the dementia" I think........hmmmmmm......really? Sorry to hear about your leg, on top of everything else, cos I bet your walks are your escape from reality. I ride a adult tricycle and had about 8 weeks when I couldn't because of broken wrist - and I really missed that.
It's a bit sunnier here today, hope it is where you are too. Have to cycle to dentists this afternoon (for me)
Well it's a bit of an outing ........good grief to think that the dentists is a form of escapism! I should be locked up (maybe that'll happen later). Hope your day goes as ok as it can xx
Hi Gilly 1952, hope your well. You sound a bit more relaxed now that you have organised & are getting through your list of things to do. Tyres done ✅ windscreen wipers , if you go to a motor parts shop they will take old off & replace them . So don't be worrying about that. In fact where I go they just replace the rubber for me which is good. Just ask shy kids get nothing. Ha ha. Then that's another job done they will also top up your fluid for your washers ,.OH moods change like the weather really annoying you feel like you need to rush about so they not waiting too long. You did well standing your ground with mental health service good for you & you jumped a day earlier excellent. You definitely got a result there . Another job sorted. You want to write yourself a list of things you need to ask . As on the day you might forget something. That's what I do. I have learnt by mistakes in past. Well I have just had lunch not a healthy one by the way . Never mind I won't be eating much the rest of the day. Didn't go walking thought I would leave it till Monday. Take care speak soon ..
Hi longlostfan hope u ok & are having a good day , well as good as possible .Well Saturday he can look after himself as I am going out with daughter for a few hours. Yes sometimes dementia is used as an excuse when really it's just the person been there normal self .Well in my OH it is (otherwise he has had dementia 34 years ) . Thankyou my leg is on the mend not going on my walk till Monday . Ye it is an escape I really love walking. Oh that's cool a tricycle, I bet you did miss it 8 weeks is a long time. You must have been really stressed then. The weather is better here today we have a little sun & it's dry . How sad are we looking forward to going to the dentist as it gets us away for awhile. You & me both should be locked up , but hey once we start taking ourselves serious then we should worry. Hope all goes well at dentist . Speak soon. Take care...xx
Hi Margherita you sound a lot more yourself today. Hope you feel lots better. All good then till the next time with OH. I am the same as you I find it easier to be deaf & dumb that way I don't get verbally abused. I have given up . Hope you having a peaceful day . Speak soon take care.....
I'm tired tonight, but it is not my husband's fault.
This morning we went out at about 11.00am and when we got back two hours later, we found that burglars had visited our home
It was a mess, things everywhere. They were looking for money and jewels, but we keep neither of them in the house. So, they stole 50 € and went away, after searching drawers, cupboards, book-cases and even the refrigerator...
I spent the whole afternoon tidying up and now I am in bed.
Hope I can have a good night's sleep.
Goodnight to you all
This morning we went out at about 11.00am and when we got back two hours later, we found that burglars had visited our home
It was a mess, things everywhere. They were looking for money and jewels, but we keep neither of them in the house. So, they stole 50 € and went away, after searching drawers, cupboards, book-cases and even the refrigerator...
I spent the whole afternoon tidying up and now I am in bed.
Hope I can have a good night's sleep.
Goodnight to you all
