Hello rdf, I also feel for you and empathise. Both Izzy and LadyA have expressed it well - and I am another in the same situation. My husband died on 19th June last year, our 59th Wedding Anniversary was last month, 27th September, his birthday was New Year's Day. They did affect me deeply last year but much more so this year - and I dread the coming New Year's Day. He had vascular dementia at least 15 years, the last 5 years in a care home.
I have not 'moved on' in the way so often referred to, but as Izzy said I doubt if we do move on after many years together, just gradually learn to adapt. I also am content with my own company, but am aware of what LadyA also mentions, a strong feeling of 'aloneness' rather than loneliness as such. I miss my husband's physical presence; the passing smile or touch, the silent understanding, the sight of him in the garden, a warm hug. But I miss all of him, words cannot express it. The rawness is still strong but like Izzy I hope in time that will lessen.
Dementia is said to be a slow bereavement, the gradual loss of everything that was. But it does not prepare you for the final loss, as many people seem to think.
I did move house some months ago, more for health and mobility reasons than by choice, and to a smaller house. It came as a shock to me to realise there was nothing of my husband here at all, and how much that upset me. However I have gradually adjusted to that, and although I miss him deeply he is always with me in my mind and heart. He is part of who I am and that will never change.
I think your visit to Austria to places meaningful to your husband will be good for you if bitter-sweet at times. Walking where he walked.... seeing what he saw. It is what I would want to do in your place, even although emotional.
Memories are what we are left with and they are precious. Photos are precious. Also bitter-sweet seeing how our men were and remembering how they became. However I find going through photos as I gradually find a home for things in this house heightens the good memories, the times we shared and enjoyed, and helps combat the not good memories of dementia.
I wish you well and hope you will keep in touch, tell us how you get on when you visit Austria.
One bit of advise.... if you plan to move house it is never too early to start preparing! It can take longer than you think to go through things, decide what you truly want to keep and what you really no longer need. It can also be emotional - and exhausting!
Loo xx