Had enough today.
- Thread starter jorgieporgie
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A bit of respite - we're in a side room again. Yay! To be fair, I think my frustrations about some of the staff have been fueled by my tiredness. No one can function normally under such duress - the noise has just been horrendous. At least it's quiet here and if I feel like staying overnight, then it's more comfortable for me here.
I think mum did have another small stroke as today she thought I was her dad! At one point earlier she said something about seeing her family and her husband which freaked me out a bit. She now keeps asking why she can't go home. Good question! Blasted dementia, for a brief time I thought it had abated. Nah, still going strong!
I think mum did have another small stroke as today she thought I was her dad! At one point earlier she said something about seeing her family and her husband which freaked me out a bit. She now keeps asking why she can't go home. Good question! Blasted dementia, for a brief time I thought it had abated. Nah, still going strong!
Marnie I'm glad your mum has a side room. Hope your mum can have a restful night. ((((hug)))). x
Oh Marnie, sounds like you've been through the ringer. I hope the side room is a help, albeit small. Will try and catch up on all that's been happening, and in the meantime send you lots of wishes. Gx
Marnie that's good to hear so now not only does your mum have quite you both have privacy hope you both get a well deserved rest and tomorrow brings a better day nite nite xxx
Morning Ladies,
Hope you had a good night Marnie if you stayed over and it was more settling for your Mum. Maybe when you get the equipment at home it wont be long before you can have her home.
Hope today is kind to you all. The sun is back today
Hope you had a good night Marnie if you stayed over and it was more settling for your Mum. Maybe when you get the equipment at home it wont be long before you can have her home.
Hope today is kind to you all. The sun is back today
Morning all. Marnie I hope you are ok and that last night was more peaceful for your mum and for you if you stayed with her. I'm praying you're seeing even just a tiny bit of a recovery following the second stroke and that all the equipment arrives today with no messing about. With that in place and the carer support reassessed you can decide on what's best for your mum.
Today is possibly D day here. PC gave the family and social worker of the lady they offered their bed vacancy up to today to respond and get their paperwork in order. I'm so nervous it's ridiculous. I've been awake since around 4am time is really dragging. I'm just waiting for it to be a reasonable time to ring. I guess 9am is pushing it a bit. I should give them a chance and call later, but the suspense is driving me mad. As I've said I have reservations about this home based on some of the management's actions, but to have mum in a home and not in that unit would be so wonderful. If there are issues I can hopefully resolve them later. Last week the social worker told me that I am a strong woman, I don't know about that, but I'd say I know what a desperate woman at the end of her tether looks like, I see her in the mirror!
As to mum herself she has been reasonably OK, though she's needed her prn top up every other day as she's getting agitated and she's still got the blessed one to one and has become dependent on it. The one to one has to be a familiar face. She went for the agency person who was assigned to her a few days ago. There'll be no familiar faces when she goes to PC so that'll be fun and games.
One last thing remember mum's brief kind of boyfriend from months ago, the man she tried to strangle. He left weeks ago, but he's back and looking a shadow of his former self. I don't know what's gone on, but how sad. Poor N. X
Today is possibly D day here. PC gave the family and social worker of the lady they offered their bed vacancy up to today to respond and get their paperwork in order. I'm so nervous it's ridiculous. I've been awake since around 4am time is really dragging. I'm just waiting for it to be a reasonable time to ring. I guess 9am is pushing it a bit. I should give them a chance and call later, but the suspense is driving me mad. As I've said I have reservations about this home based on some of the management's actions, but to have mum in a home and not in that unit would be so wonderful. If there are issues I can hopefully resolve them later. Last week the social worker told me that I am a strong woman, I don't know about that, but I'd say I know what a desperate woman at the end of her tether looks like, I see her in the mirror!
As to mum herself she has been reasonably OK, though she's needed her prn top up every other day as she's getting agitated and she's still got the blessed one to one and has become dependent on it. The one to one has to be a familiar face. She went for the agency person who was assigned to her a few days ago. There'll be no familiar faces when she goes to PC so that'll be fun and games.
One last thing remember mum's brief kind of boyfriend from months ago, the man she tried to strangle. He left weeks ago, but he's back and looking a shadow of his former self. I don't know what's gone on, but how sad. Poor N. X
Morning Lavender
I've got my fingers & toes crossed for you & your mum , hope you hear early & the news is good
I've got my fingers & toes crossed for you & your mum
, hope you hear early & the news is goodWell, mum was more alert yesterday evening so had a few attempts at sneaking out unnoticed until I succeeded! On the way home there's a kebab van outside a village hall and I've driven past it for years, last night I succumbed for the first time. I was just so tired and craving something tasty. So at 10pm I'm back home, drinking tea and eating a chicken kebab, which was actually quite nice.
The last two nights I haven't slept well, this morning I got back here before 8 so was able to supervise breakfast and meds. Mum much brighter this morning than she was yesterday. She ate most of the porridge, which is unusual. At least she can still swallow. Equipment due to arrive at home today so will have to drive home again when I get the call. The hospital won't let me take mum hone until the equipment is in place and our agency has reassessed mum and is able to resume visits. I think I might come up against an issue with SS as I currently get the equivalent of 4 x 30 min visits a day via direct payments, but our agency don't do half hour visits, they do an hour min, which I think is very sensible. So, unless SS up mum's care provision (which I doubt, as they will prob say that I need to find another agency which does do 30 min visits), I will have to supplement, which will be expensive. I think initially I will have to plan on 4 visits as I've no idea how this will pan out. Hopefully, as I learn how to do things myself a bit, then I might be able to cut the number of visits. It's all a bit mind boggling at the mo. The key thing is that mum can't walk, but I'm going to do my best to try to get her back on her feet somehow when she gets home, all being well.
Lavender - hope today offers you some good news. What's the position with the other, preferred hone?
Hope everyone else is well. I STILL have no internet as BT didn't turn up the other day. Now rescheduled for Friday, but I can't be in two places at the same time! Might have to wait until we're home.
I was half expecting mum to have been agitated in the night, and for the staff to have moved her back to the noisy area, but thank God she slept and was still in the side room this morning.
The last two nights I haven't slept well, this morning I got back here before 8 so was able to supervise breakfast and meds. Mum much brighter this morning than she was yesterday. She ate most of the porridge, which is unusual. At least she can still swallow. Equipment due to arrive at home today so will have to drive home again when I get the call. The hospital won't let me take mum hone until the equipment is in place and our agency has reassessed mum and is able to resume visits. I think I might come up against an issue with SS as I currently get the equivalent of 4 x 30 min visits a day via direct payments, but our agency don't do half hour visits, they do an hour min, which I think is very sensible. So, unless SS up mum's care provision (which I doubt, as they will prob say that I need to find another agency which does do 30 min visits), I will have to supplement, which will be expensive. I think initially I will have to plan on 4 visits as I've no idea how this will pan out. Hopefully, as I learn how to do things myself a bit, then I might be able to cut the number of visits. It's all a bit mind boggling at the mo. The key thing is that mum can't walk, but I'm going to do my best to try to get her back on her feet somehow when she gets home, all being well.
Lavender - hope today offers you some good news. What's the position with the other, preferred hone?
Hope everyone else is well. I STILL have no internet as BT didn't turn up the other day. Now rescheduled for Friday, but I can't be in two places at the same time! Might have to wait until we're home.
I was half expecting mum to have been agitated in the night, and for the staff to have moved her back to the noisy area, but thank God she slept and was still in the side room this morning.
I am reading & keeping up with you all - promise! - & offering support from the sidelines.
And where your ears burning yesterday afternoon, as I was telling someone from Proactive Care ( something to do with GP surgery & the trust? ) how much support I get from you Guys, & how I can see if Mum's behaviour is kind of 'standard' or maybe needs medical investigation
You are the Carer I try to be for my mother, & for that I thank you all.
And where your ears burning yesterday afternoon, as I was telling someone from Proactive Care ( something to do with GP surgery & the trust? ) how much support I get from you Guys, & how I can see if Mum's behaviour is kind of 'standard' or maybe needs medical investigation
You are the Carer I try to be for my mother, & for that I thank you all.
Doctors
I'm off to the docs today for myself ( nothing major) but I'm also using the visit as a chance to discuss my wife's D . My wife firmly believes that a say so from him will get her back driving when we all know it's the dvla that has the final say. So I've got to explain afterwards, on my return, that that's the position. Prepare for more aggression. Here's the thing, she also firmly believes that the Problems (she denies she has D) has been brought on by the visit to Memory Clinic. And I'm very much to blame having dragged her there in the first place. How do I get out to get help when she doesn't like being left and if I did get out I'd be in deep trouble for speaking about her to someone else. My daughters are worried I've no life left of my own. What can I do? Speak in secret on this forum or to someone on the phone in secret. I'd love to go to a local group but no chance. I've had enough really...I'm not cut out for this type of care no matter what we promised in our wedding vows.
I'm off to the docs today for myself ( nothing major) but I'm also using the visit as a chance to discuss my wife's D . My wife firmly believes that a say so from him will get her back driving when we all know it's the dvla that has the final say. So I've got to explain afterwards, on my return, that that's the position. Prepare for more aggression. Here's the thing, she also firmly believes that the Problems (she denies she has D) has been brought on by the visit to Memory Clinic. And I'm very much to blame having dragged her there in the first place. How do I get out to get help when she doesn't like being left and if I did get out I'd be in deep trouble for speaking about her to someone else. My daughters are worried I've no life left of my own. What can I do? Speak in secret on this forum or to someone on the phone in secret. I'd love to go to a local group but no chance. I've had enough really...I'm not cut out for this type of care no matter what we promised in our wedding vows.
Dutchman I wish I had an answer which helped, I'm, not sure that I do as I failed to get support in for my mum before she was admitted to hospital as she was very resistant.
With hindsight I should have gone ahead and done it and dealt with the fallout. It's really hard trying to get even a tiny window of freedom whilst respecting the wishes of our loved ones. Hindsight says I should have appreciated far more that mum's logic was flawed and should have just gone ahead regardless of it making her unhappy, I think I pushed myself close to a breakdown instead.
I'd honesty say go ahead and get carers in, pretend they are cleaners provided free for people over.... Or they are free because they are on a training scheme and whilst on training the service is free. You need some time off. The other thing is would your wife want you to feel as you do if she wasn't blighted by this rotten illness. I bet you she wouldn't. X
With hindsight I should have gone ahead and done it and dealt with the fallout. It's really hard trying to get even a tiny window of freedom whilst respecting the wishes of our loved ones. Hindsight says I should have appreciated far more that mum's logic was flawed and should have just gone ahead regardless of it making her unhappy, I think I pushed myself close to a breakdown instead.
I'd honesty say go ahead and get carers in, pretend they are cleaners provided free for people over.... Or they are free because they are on a training scheme and whilst on training the service is free. You need some time off. The other thing is would your wife want you to feel as you do if she wasn't blighted by this rotten illness. I bet you she wouldn't. X
Hi it's me again.
We missed out on two beds in PC. The home claim the one discussed last week was always going to the person they mentioned, it was never available to mum.
The home has a second vacancy as someone sadly passed away at the weekend, but they assessed a lady for that bed at 1.30 today. I have just called PC and they have confirmed that they can meet the lady's needs and have offered her the placement. The family are discussing it. The home mentioned that the lady has similar needs to my mum so I cannot imagine why they wouldn't chose to take the offer. Mum is now at the top of the waiting list once again. As to me well I really have had enough. How can it all fall apart so fast. X
We missed out on two beds in PC. The home claim the one discussed last week was always going to the person they mentioned, it was never available to mum.
The home has a second vacancy as someone sadly passed away at the weekend, but they assessed a lady for that bed at 1.30 today. I have just called PC and they have confirmed that they can meet the lady's needs and have offered her the placement. The family are discussing it. The home mentioned that the lady has similar needs to my mum so I cannot imagine why they wouldn't chose to take the offer. Mum is now at the top of the waiting list once again. As to me well I really have had enough. How can it all fall apart so fast. X
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I feel for you, your life must be unbearable.
I think people with dementia are similar to little children.
You make decisions for them and they have to "obey", they like it or not.
Getting to an agrrement seems impossible ; since they can't reason, how can we persuade them of anything?
Aw Lavender I feel for you I really do. ((Hugs))xx
Could you let Margi know on Sams thread where you got your fake money from she's going to get her Mum some.
Marnie hope things are getting sorted for you and your Mum
Hoping you both have a peaceful night xx
Jorgie rain first thing here but fine for the rest of the day but with a cool wind blowing.x, definitely Autumn has arrived just in time for the illuminations.xx
Mollyd how are you Doing? Xx
Worrier hope your doing ok back home xx
Harrys'd how's the new member of the family Doing? I'm sure everything is purrfectxx
Could you let Margi know on Sams thread where you got your fake money from she's going to get her Mum some.
Marnie hope things are getting sorted for you and your Mum
Hoping you both have a peaceful night xx
Jorgie rain first thing here but fine for the rest of the day but with a cool wind blowing.x, definitely Autumn has arrived just in time for the illuminations.xx
Mollyd how are you Doing? Xx
Worrier hope your doing ok back home xx
Harrys'd how's the new member of the family Doing? I'm sure everything is purrfectxx
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