Ashes

[KatieRich]

Hi all. Just pondering a few things before my dad's funeral on Friday.
I have been thinking that I may like to have a necklace with his ashes in , sometime in the future. Had a little look on Internet but the choice is staggering. Would appreciate any advice or recommendations.
Many thanks as always X

 

[marionq]

Why not a locket or something similar with just a pinch of ashes if you want them as a reminder. When my mother died I used some of the money she left me to buy a plainish gold ring with her initials and birth and death dates. I wear it every day and less macabre than ashes - although go for that if you're happy with it.

 

[cragmaid]

My concern about having a necklace or similar containing Dad's ashes, is just you would be heart broken if you lost it or it was stolen in a burglary.

My personal feelings were and are, that I am a part of my parents, just as they were part of their families, and my children and my grandchildren carry on the line. I did not need their ashes close by me. They are part of me and my memories keep them close.

These are my feelings. They are in no way a criticism of you or anyone else who choose to keep their family memory close in a different manner.

I hope that you have a day that is special on Friday. It may be the end of Dad's life here on earth but his memory lives on in you.x.x.

 

[Lawson58]

I believe it is an expensive process but you can have a 'diamond' created from the ashes which maybe a nicer idea than the ashes themselves. I heard about it from the curator of our local cemetery so it might be something you would like to investigate.

 

[KatieRich]

Why not a locket or something similar with just a pinch of ashes if you want them as a reminder. When my mother died I used some of the money she left me to buy a plainish gold ring with her initials and birth and death dates. I wear it every day and less macabre than ashes - although go for that if you're happy with it.

I never thought of that marionq, like the idea of a ring.
Thank you x

 

[KatieRich]

My concern about having a necklace or similar containing Dad's ashes, is just you would be heart broken if you lost it or it was stolen in a burglary.

My personal feelings were and are, that I am a part of my parents, just as they were part of their families, and my children and my grandchildren carry on the line. I did not need their ashes close by me. They are part of me and my memories keep them close.

These are my feelings. They are in no way a criticism of you or anyone else who choose to keep their family memory close in a different manner.

I hope that you have a day that is special on Friday. It may be the end of Dad's life here on earth but his memory lives on in you.x.x.

Thank you cragmaid. I had worried about losing something like that.
I do agree with your thoughts. I guess I will just see how I feel after tomorrow.
I really hope we do him proud tomorrow, I am (if I can ) doing a reading called "Memories of dad" the butterflies are building already. Xx

 

[Saffie]

I believe it is an expensive process but you can have a 'diamond' created from the ashes which maybe a nicer idea than the ashes themselves. I heard about it from the curator of our local cemetery so it might be something you would like to investigate.

Each to their own - but I would hate the idea of a beloved person's remains being turned into something as decorative as a piece of jewellery. I feel that those I love deserve to be left in peace. Just my opinion of course.

 

[Lawson58]

Each to their own - but I would hate the idea of a beloved person's remains being turned into something a decorative as a piece of jewellery. I feel that those I love deserve to be left in peace. Just my opinion of course.

I agree with you and personally I wouldn't do it either

But if that is something Katie wants to do, it was just another option.

 

[cragmaid]

With regards to your reading.... when I delivered the Eulogy at my Sister's funeral, the Lady Vicar said that she wore lots of hairspray and waterproof mascara to get her through difficult services. That way she couldn't keep running her hands through her hair, and if the worst happened and the dam broke, she was not left to conduct the rest of the service with panda eyes.

Sadly I've had to put her advice into practice a few times now.... and it mostly worked.

Tears or not, I'm sure you will have done your best.x.

 

[KatieRich]

With regards to your reading.... when I delivered the Eulogy at my Sister's funeral, the Lady Vicar said that she wore lots of hairspray and waterproof mascara to get her through difficult services. That way she couldn't keep running her hands through her hair, and if the worst happened and the dam broke, she was not left to conduct the rest of the service with panda eyes.

Sadly I've had to put her advice into practice a few times now.... and it mostly worked.

Tears or not, I'm sure you will have done your best.x.

Cragmaid , that just made me chuckle this morning. Especially the hairspray part.
I'm lucky these things will not affect me, I don't wear mascara and my hair is so curly if I put a hand in there I won't get it out haha.
Some other advice someone has said is don't make eye contact with anyone because if they are crying you will too. Did you find this?
Xx

 

[Alibaba80]

Wishing you all the best Katie. My Dad died recently and I wrote a eulogy to be read at his funeral but asked a family friend to read it on my behalf. He did us proud although he too found it very hard. He read it very slowly and one sentence at a time. No one will criticise you if you find it hard or break down, take it at your own pace.

 

[KatieRich]

Wishing you all the best Katie. My Dad died recently and I wrote a eulogy to be read at his funeral but asked a family friend to read it on my behalf. He did us proud although he too found it very hard. He read it very slowly and one sentence at a time. No one will criticise you if you find it hard or break down, take it at your own pace.

Thank you so much. I'm reading "memories of dad" I really hope I can get through it.
Thing is now I'm thinking ..my dad will be on my right hand side, do I read it facing forward to family & friends or face right to my dad? Xx
Sorry for the loss of your dad, so very hard isn't it xxx

 

[Red Geranium]

You will do what feels right

Thank you so much. I'm reading "memories of dad" I really hope I can get through it.
Thing is now I'm thinking ..my dad will be on my right hand side, do I read it facing forward to family & friends or face right to my dad? Xx
Sorry for the loss of your dad, so very hard isn't it xxx

One of these choices will feel best I think. You will know. Thinking of you xx

 

[Canadian Joanne]

If you wish to keep some ashes, and the possibility of losing jewelry is a concern, you could always get a very pretty small decorative container to keep just a little bit of ashes. Something like https://www.parkinsons.org.uk/shop/product/enamel-pill-box which also supports a charity could be appropriate for you.

 

[Spamar]

The friend who did one of the eulogies for OH stood beside the coffin, but turned and faced it on occasion, even patted it, like you would if you patted someone's shoulder. He did a wonderful job, had practically everyone there in tears!

 

[Red Geranium]

Evermore glass

There is a very kind and talented lady in St Ives who makes glass beads with cremation ashes.

 

[Lawson58]

The friend who did one of the eulogies for OH stood beside the coffin, but turned and faced it on occasion, even patted it, like you would if you patted someone's shoulder. He did a wonderful job, had practically everyone there in tears!

I saw a similar thing when a friend's dad died. There were four children, each spoke about a different facet of their dad's life and as they returned to their seat, each stood at the foot of the coffin and said a few words of farewell. Very moving.

 

[Amethyst59]

It is such a poignant thing to do for someone...the eulogy I mean. On the subject of the ashes...I had a locket with a photo of my husband and a lock of hair...and it was attached to my watch strap...short story, I lost it. Horrible. I like the idea of the engraved ring, if you want to wear something, that would be much more secure. I'm seriously considering a tattoo, for a very precious granddaughter...but I am SO not a typical person for that, so I'm still thinking.