Hi i was looking to seek some advice my father is in a care home and was admitted straight from hospital after being on a life support for 6months. He had with a burst anerisum ( not sure if i have spelt this correctly) he had to learn how to walk again and manage toilet needs. He has came along way since then and is now very mobile. He is 80 years of age and has early stages of vascular dementia, i looked after dad prior to his hospital admission so i was very upset i was told he was too much for me to look after and would benefit from being admitted to a nursing home residential. My father has been in this particular home for over a year now and has only recently settled in which he now calls home. Majority of the care staff love dad and saying they love having him there and he is not a problem. We then have 4 members of staff who arnt to keen on him as he wont basically just sit there like other residents and be told what to do, he likes to be asked same way we all like to be spoken to. He has always been a very caring, generous kind individual who would go out of his way for anyone and even helps push wheelchairs on activity days out with the home. But recently there was an incident when dad escaped from the home and was brought back by the police. The police advised dad had escaped as he was told he had no choice in going out and had to stay at the home and previously had a piece of paper (dolls- prevention of a person with a mental capacity to be held to avoid harm) dad didnt understand what this was due to dementia and got very irritable and frustrated. When mentioned to manager that police said no assault had taken place as this was only an accusation from the nurse in charge as there was no evidence, she then went on to tell me take no bloody notice of the police they havent aclue about dementia. The female member of staff has made an accusation that dad assualted a member of staff which when question which member of staff, i was told it was a lady called christine which i then found out of carers no one of that name work on a night shift of that name. When approached about this, there is an arkward silence and change of subject. This particular woman is not fond of my dad as he wont just sit in the chair he likes to treat the place like his home. This was totally out of character and they are making my dad out to be a person hes not saying he refused to move out the way for a wheelchair and ehen offered a piece of cake he replied swearing. ( dad loves cake) i replied with are you sure why couldnt the carer of just put it aside he may have been having a bad day to which i didnt get an answer. My dad has never raised his hand to any woman and they are now playing the card of he is an ex boxing and aggresive side has came out but it only the 4 individuals who have said this and have supposedly written statements which no one will let me see. Anytime there has been an incident is when the night staff are on or this particular woman in the day i do stress me moving him that he would deteriorate. All carer are upset and said they disagree with everything that has been mentioned as they never have a problem with dad i feel he is being bullued out by these member and a medical meeting has taken place and i was notified for me to be present. They say this was urgent and that is reason why when i have evidence to say otherwise. Im 27years of age and feel im being spoken down to, a comment has already been made saying are your only a kid. I stopped being a child from age of 18 and now a working mother of 1 (Very insulting). Deputy has also stated if problem persists with dad they will end up in local newspaper and they cant have that. Sorry for the essay i just thought id give people abit of background ive been told i have 4weeks to move him. Please someone help and any advice would be much appreciated. Amanda
Last edited: