just lost my mum

webby123

Registered User
Mar 14, 2016
181
0
sad weekend this sunday its a year since i lost mum,it still hurts as much as the first day,im spending here at home ,my lovely cousin invited me down to cornwall but i just want to be here where my memorys are
after having my lunch break at home,i headed back to work just as a car pulled up,it was my mums main carer,she was working in the street and came down to see how i was,her and mum were inseparable even though they were total opposites
on sunday i intend to do what i did christmas day and cycle to graveyard and spend some time there,my brother has invited me around for a meal in mums honour
i thought i would add a pick of mum that always make me laugth taken a few years back ,i was making her a christmas cake and asked her to mix the mixture for me ,when i came in found her sampling the mix caught in the act 002.jpg (298.3 KB)
 

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jorgieporgie

Registered User
Mar 2, 2016
1,982
0
YORKSHIRE
Thinking of you Webby, the first Year will always be the hardest but spend it with your Brother and Family and enjoy all the lovely memories of your Mum that can never be taken away. Lovely picture with her little owls on her Jumper too.
 

webby123

Registered User
Mar 14, 2016
181
0
today hasnt been so bad as i thought ,went to a service at the church with brother and sister in law where mum is buried ,they read her name out in there rememberance book ,then we visited the grave,then when back to brothers for a meal,then headed out to a local ice cream parlour which was one of mums favorites with the family
 

webby123

Registered User
Mar 14, 2016
181
0
yes it was ,today i bumped into mums carer again i dont see her for over a year then twice in 3 days!had knock on the door tonight was my neighbour,she brought me a bunch of flowers and a card ,she has been really good to me ,also to mum she use to cook her cakes and bring them around with her 2 young boys mum use to love it
i visited the grave today as yesterday was a bit rushed ,i could feel her telling me to get on with my life its what she would have wanted,im trying to be more positive
 

webby123

Registered User
Mar 14, 2016
181
0
struggling today ,with tomorrow on my mind mothers day,it was this time last year my mother passed away the day before mothering sunday,on that morning i realised she wasnt going to make it ,so i gave her card a day early ,i read the verses to her and she looked at the card ,also bought a cuddly owl ,it was the last thing we did together,i remember mothers sunday as the day i spent on my own all day it was one of the worst days of my life
tomorrow im going for a bike ride out to one of her fav places ,she use to love going out to this nt place and sitting in the cafe with her milk and victoria sponge so im gonna break the diet and have a piece of cake in her memory then im going to vist the cemetary on the way home and spend some time there
im having another quiet weekend its becoming normal last week i went 4 days without speaking to anyone,but i know people care,im mixed up in the local music scene i think they are all looking out for me ,the musicians always check im ok,lst night i drove about 30 miles to stratford on avon to see well known artist in this area play ,she has been so suppotive towards me texting me ,making sure im ok it was nice to sit and chat with her all night
also on a positive piece i planted mums wildflower meadow today
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,730
0
Ireland
All those "firsts" after a death are very hard, Webby - their first birthday, your first birthday, Christmas, their anniversary, and days like Mother's Day. But you do sound like you're making a good effort to make a good life for yourself, which I'm sure is exactly what your mum would want. Maybe when you're at the cemetery tomorrow you can think about how far you've come in the year. I'm sure your mum will be saying "Well done, son! That's it - keep moving forward!" ☺

Sent from my Moto G Play using Talking Point mobile app
 

Soobee

Registered User
Aug 22, 2009
2,731
0
South
I find Mother's Day the hardest day, followed by Easter, followed by Christmas Day.

I am glad people are looking out for you, and that you are looking out for yourself in some ways. Enjoy your slice of cake and your ride.
 
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Sb1965

Registered User
Mar 24, 2017
4
0
Stay strong

Hi I also looked after my mam for over 20 year's, I lost my mam in July last year she had Alzheimer's and other illnesses, which took her life, I'm absolutely devastated and heartbroken,, it's so hard to cope some days please bare with it it does get easier, my mam was my best friend, and I miss her dearly, stay strong, xx
 
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jorgieporgie

Registered User
Mar 2, 2016
1,982
0
YORKSHIRE
Just keep strong Webby and remember all the lovely Mother's day you spent with your Mum. I t was my first and Mum was my best friend too and I saw her every single day. The thing that gets me through these special occasions is I was so blessed to have had her 86 of them. xx
 

webby123

Registered User
Mar 14, 2016
181
0
thanks for all the messages,on sunday i went for the 20 mile bike ride out to the nt cafe had my cake ,then headed back to town bought some flowers,cycled up to the graveyard ,even had my dinner there,stayed some time talking to her i always feel better after this,had a text from my brother checking if i was ok,he was at work so i made him a roast and we had a good chat
on saturday i tilled mums garden full of wild flowers like last year,different combination this year
 

webby123

Registered User
Mar 14, 2016
181
0
not been on for a bit,been looking out for my brother who is off work with depression,we had a chat ,2 things causing it mum and his daughter who for the last 5 years has been having loads of fits each day,the specailists wont to do tests but the local council says they wont fund it now,just seems so unfair she is now 20 it ruined her exam results she cant be in the house on her own as few times she has fallen and hurt herself and ended in hospital,her and mum had a real bond whenever she was ill mum was ill,mum use to say she was dead image of her sister
i also forget how much my brother misses my mum has well,so im trying to look out for him a bit more without invading his privatesy
weekend im off for 10 days to devon and cornwall to spend time with my cousin
 

webby123

Registered User
Mar 14, 2016
181
0
been a while since i have been on here,in that time been on holiday for 10 days in cornwall staying with my cousin im seriously thinking of moving back to my home county of devon
back here we have had a break in next door,luckily the single mum and her boys were away they stole money and her jewelry even stole her sons money box,today we heard that the police have caught whoever did it,so im trying to make the house more secure at the moment
i still really miss mum i think i always will,she wasnt just my mum but my best friend,i dont hear from many people these days unless i make a effort to get out,the music project me and my brother started last year is struggling due to certain people keep letting us down,im trying to stay positive and battle on
 

webby123

Registered User
Mar 14, 2016
181
0
been a while since i have been here,i have been keeping busy i still miss mum like crazy theres not a day goes by where i dont think of her
had a bit of a bad weekend ,im still training once sometimes twice a week to do big cycle ride next year for age uk and the local day centre,i booked a week off week after next to cycle holyhead to chester but today im laid up with a bad back and for the last few weeks dont seem to have much energy
i went to the church where mum is buried last night as they had a service for all the people in the churchyard was a beautiful emotional service in which everyone lit a candle for there loved ones and there names were read out,at the end of the service everyone was given a rose to take to the graveside, i really struggled as my brothers family didnt turn up even though he said he was coming,everybody else were in family groups apart from me on my own,its not the only thing lately tht has happened the gravestone arrived we were paying half but he hasnt paid instead went off on a last min holiday,he has wasted mums money on a lot of need less stuff it angers me when i think how hard mum and dad worked so we could have a better life,i have decided to keep my distance from now on rather then get into a family arguement im even contenplating moving away
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,730
0
Ireland
Nice to hear from you again, Webby.
I am glad you got to the service. I'm sure your mum would be proud of you, moving forward with the training and plans for the cycle. Mind your back though! It can't be replaced!
I wouldn't do anything hasty about moving away, if you are otherwise happy where you are. Give it plenty of thought. Your brother has his family to distract him, so I suppose that makes it different for him.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
11,748
0
Essex
its just over a week since i lost my mum who was my world,i had cared for her for nearly 10 years with dementia with little or no help,in the daytime i keep really busy but night time i find it so hard,i am on my own and find myself going to bed early,i do have friends and a brother but prefer to stay here in my house where i spent over 50 years with mum,im totally heartbroken and miss her so much and cant see my life getting any better,its so quiet here:(

Dear Webby,

I'm sorry to hear about your mum but you must give yourself time. A week isn't long enough and also please keep talking to us here.

Love

MaNAk
 

webby123

Registered User
Mar 14, 2016
181
0
hi lady a good to hear from you,yes had a bad back for years but at the moment its playing up especially at night,just gotta keep me fingers crossed it gets better before next week ,maybe osteopathe tomorrow,im 50-50 with moving away,ws going to leave it to after big ride see if i miss here or not