Hello Suze, I was ill in late January and reached a point where for a short while I couldn't look after my husband. He had Alzheimer's diagnosed about 6 year's earlier. We were coping up to then, he needed help eating and going to the toilet, couldn't dress himself etc, but I assumed in the great scheme of things he wasn't doing too badly.
On February 1st my daughter managed to arrange some respite care for him. He was in the care home for a few days, then started to have falls, into hospital, out again, they said seizures. After a couple of weeks I was well enough to be able to drive again and visit him where he was now in hospital. After a few days I was told that he was "end of life", that he was to have CHC and given the details of a couple of nursing homes.
He moved to an extraordinarily good nursing home two days later. He died on March 25th. Only 9 weeks after I first asked for help. Maybe he was worse than I realized, it was that my being there all the time meant we coped. When that prop was taken away, the whole thing collapsed. I don't know. I was full of guilt for a while, thinking if I hadn't been ill ... but in my heart I know I did everything I could for him, and till then he was happy and enjoyed life as well as he was able.
I've been told since that it often ends this way, which is, I think, a kinder end than carrying on for years and years in a state of almost non-being.
I hope you won't find this distressing to read, and of course your husband may well make a recovery, but I just wanted to say that yes, it can happen this quickly. Be strong, and make the most of the time you have together, I took in music, read stories, told him what was going on, grandchildren visited, we kept a day and night vigil for the last days and my younger daughter and I were with him when he died, my older daughter had been there the day before. It was calm and peaceful. I hope you have loving family around to support you, as I did.
My thoughts are with you.
