So mum passed away 5 weeks ago and at her funeral I cried loads and am generally a very very emotional person. On Christmas Eve I had a little meltdown but pulled myself together and got on. I thought Christmas day would be awful but somehow it wasn't and neither was Boxing day. This is the first Christmas without my mum or dad(we left him in his care home this year)and I felt nothing and even a tiny bit of relief. The relief mainly as every Christmas since 2010 has been treading on egg shells with either mum or dad or both. This Christmas was so much more relaxed and I feel guilty for not feeling anything. Where have my emotions gone? I keep thinking I should've cried through the day, during the dinner or unwrapping presents. I remembered my parents but no tears came. I've had days at work where I haven't coped and assumed Christmas would be awful. I just don't understand this grieving process. Any suggestions or advice or should I just stop thinking too deeply?