joandelta
Hello Joan.
I wish I could help you regarding the EPA. I solved this problem with my husband by getting mutual EPAs, as his attitude to money is jut like your mother`s. But of course this is only possible between husbands and wives.
My husband also worries about his pension being paid into the bank. As he is now unable to understand a bank statement he thinks the bank is keeping his money. I do ease his mind when I explain, but he forgets what I have said very quickly and we go over it all again and again.
I suppose you may have to wait until she is less able to go with you to the cash machine. Not much help I know.
As for the letters to her parents. I agree with citybythesea. Let her write a letter. She might even want to `put it off till tomorrow`, which is what my husband says once I agree to something that might be too difficult for him. And if she really wants to try to phone her parents and cannot accept they have died, try to dial your own home number and tell her there is no-one in or the number is out of order. Anything to ease the moment.
I know this all sounds underhand but anything is worth trying for the sake of peace.
Take care xx