Difficult times

JenTay

Registered User
Jan 23, 2016
9
0
This weekend and past few weeks have been a nightmare. Hubby has had two brain tumours in the past and now diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia, part of his second tumour was left in place as it is pressing on his brain stem.

It's like a living hell sometimes and his condition has deteriorated quickly this year. Twice he's tried to smash the front windows with ornaments because he thinks he can smell fumes in the house and wants fresh air. Prior to this he was convinced that next door were out to get him (they're not obviously) but he goes on about it 24/7. His medication has been changed over the past couple of weeks and it helped with the paranoia but the "smell" problem seems to be getting worse. I'm his carer 24/7 and I'm finding it difficult to keep going, especially tonight when it felt like chinese water torture just listening to him go on and on and on. I've put a smoke alarm, carbon monoxide detector, aromas in his room just to try and take his mind off it.

The Social Worker came round and said she would look into carer help or respite and that's the last I've heard of her. This sounds awful but I wish I was on my own, even after being together for 45 years. I've always had to work as he never has due to various anxieties and after everything else, there's the dementia.
 

1mindy

Registered User
Jul 21, 2015
538
0
Shropshire
This weekend and past few weeks have been a nightmare. Hubby has had two brain tumours in the past and now diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia, part of his second tumour was left in place as it is pressing on his brain stem.

It's like a living hell sometimes and his condition has deteriorated quickly this year. Twice he's tried to smash the front windows with ornaments because he thinks he can smell fumes in the house and wants fresh air. Prior to this he was convinced that next door were out to get him (they're not obviously) but he goes on about it 24/7. His medication has been changed over the past couple of weeks and it helped with the paranoia but the "smell" problem seems to be getting worse. I'm his carer 24/7 and I'm finding it difficult to keep going, especially tonight when it felt like chinese water torture just listening to him go on and on and on. I've put a smoke alarm, carbon monoxide detector, aromas in his room just to try and take his mind off it.

The Social Worker came round and said she would look into carer help or respite and that's the last I've heard of her. This sounds awful but I wish I was on my own, even after being together for 45 years. I've always had to work as he never has due to various anxieties and after everything else, there's the dementia.
To me it doesn't sound awful at all. After 30 years of marriage my husband went into a home last spring. I could not cope with his unpredictability any longer, and truth is I think he is happier there too,as the carers are lovely to him,and he does not have a stressed carer. I now have my own reinvented life and he has his. There is only so much you can do, my SW experience was ok to start with but as things became more difficult for us she vanished. Just continue asking for the help, and consider your future,its easy to neglect ourselves in our carer road as there is no time for us without the support.
 

JenTay

Registered User
Jan 23, 2016
9
0
To me it doesn't sound awful at all. After 30 years of marriage my husband went into a home last spring. I could not cope with his unpredictability any longer, and truth is I think he is happier there too,as the carers are lovely to him,and he does not have a stressed carer. I now have my own reinvented life and he has his. There is only so much you can do, my SW experience was ok to start with but as things became more difficult for us she vanished. Just continue asking for the help, and consider your future,its easy to neglect ourselves in our carer road as there is no time for us without the support.


Thank you for the replies, things have calmed down a little now that the new medicines have kicked in. I've had no further episodes of aggression and he's fairly calm. The constant talking and misunderstanding is still a pain but at least when he goes to bed I can relax and chill out with a brew and a bit of tv.