I have just had a moment

[twinklestar]

I have had a good day at work. I feel I have done the best I can do. I have spent time with my boyfriend and when I got home I made myself a nice tea which I really enjoyed. I have done one or two little jobs so was feeling really pleased with myself then it hit me. Wham! That almost physical kick to the stomach. I caught the end of a radio programme talking about being with a parent when they die. Suddenly it hit me. Then the tears flowed and I crumpled in a heap.

It is six months since my mum died. I think about her all the time. Mostly I smile but then it hits me. It will be her birthday soon - our first without her. On her birthday my mum and dad would have been married 60 years. I have taken the day off work and plan to go and take some flowers and a card to the crem. I think it is time to say a few prayers, talk to mum and dad, listen to what they say and be peaceful.

This will also be our first Chirstmas without her and our last Christmas in the family home as we plan to put the house on the market in the spring.

I know that it is time to move on but ....... sometimes it is so hard.

 

[Slugsta]

I am sorry that your grief is still so fresh and raw, I hope it soon fades and becomes tolerable.

 

[MollyD]

Oh twinklestar. So sorry. Hope your visit and chat with your mum and dad is healing for you. Allow yourself to grieve.

X

 

[truth24]

Sending a big hug, twinklestar.

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Twinklestar, I understand exactly how you feel. It is just going on 3 months since my mother died and I am finding the adjustment difficult. What I am finding particularly hard is the realization that I won't be going to the nursing home.

We will learn to live with our losses but I think we'll always have those sad moments.

 

[twinklestar]

know it will get better.

Twinklestar, I understand exactly how you feel. It is just going on 3 months since my mother died and I am finding the adjustment difficult. What I am finding particularly hard is the realization that I won't be going to the nursing home.

We will learn to live with our losses but I think we'll always have those sad moments.

The adjustment when you have cared for someone with dementia and they are no longer there is immense. Whilst it is good to take some time to think deeply about my mother, I have learned that as she is always there with me that is enough. When I feel able I will set aside time to have a one-to-one with mum, to say a prayer and envelope myself in her presence. That time is for me to decide as is how and where.

After my little wobble the other night I now there will be more little wobbles. Each person's grief is personal to them and I know I will learn to understand the nature of my grief and how to manage it. My mother was a very sensitive person and felt things deeply and I know she will understand. At the same time she was immensely practical and would be doing the same as I am.