I have been trying to look at mums situation as an outsider looking in for a while now and have come to the conclusion that even though we (my brother and I) think we are looking after mums best interests, we do think we are failing her somehow. Don't get me wrong, we try very hard to feed her, keep her clean, wash her hair, keep her house clean and lookmafter her medication. BUt what do we do now that she has got very very aggressive ( sometimes to the point of violence) when we are trying to help her. She will not even let me in most of the time and she actually said the other day that she hates the sight of me and doesn't ever want to see me aghain (I know I know it;s the illness not mum") but inreality she physically will not let me do anything practical for her. If I pick a duster up we end up wrestling ovber it. If I try to mop or vacuum round for her again we end up in a tussle because she wrestles them out of my hands. She says she "is not stupid and can look after herself" She obviously cannot. her clothes are dirty because she refuses to change them, her body and hair are not as clean as they should be - her house is minging (sorry mum but it is!) and I feel that we owe it to her to get her somewhere that she will be looked after properly . We went down the carers route but she would not let them in. She lets my brother take her something to eat but invariably when he gets there (we both work full time) she starts complaining and saying she is not eating this S**T and usually ends up giving it to the dog. She is not losing weight and is not physically frail so obviously is getting enough sustenance from the rest of the **** that she eats (crisps, biscuits, chocolate and sweets usually!) but again, we (or should I say I) feel that it is not enough and we owe her a better quality of life. Her day consists of getting up and sitting in a chair by the window......... that is it no reading, no watching tv, no conversation, nothing just sitting inthe window doing absolutely nothing and again I feel she needs some sort of stimulation (don't know what form exactly but just something!)
Am I being realistic. I don't want this to sound like a "cop out" I would do anything for her, she just won't let me. I feel my btoher is in denail in so far as "if mum's at home then she isn't that poorly" kind of attitude. he does try and do things for her too but she just won't let us she thinks there is nothing wrong. (a common and classic tale I know!) but what does anybody else think?
Thanks for reading this and sorry for rambling.
Maggie
Am I being realistic. I don't want this to sound like a "cop out" I would do anything for her, she just won't let me. I feel my btoher is in denail in so far as "if mum's at home then she isn't that poorly" kind of attitude. he does try and do things for her too but she just won't let us she thinks there is nothing wrong. (a common and classic tale I know!) but what does anybody else think?
Thanks for reading this and sorry for rambling.
Maggie