Morning all,
Canary, I had often wondered if the 'gunmen' came from things Mil may have experienced in Ireland, though there was never any mention of anything like that when she had talked about growing up there to me, in the past. I asked OH if he knew about this incident in Mil's street and he actually can remember it, saying he saw something on the news at the time, though he had forgotten all about it till I asked - quite how I managed to avoid knowing about it, I have no idea - its not like where Mil lived was known for having issues like that, so you would think I would have picked up on it!
Amy, yes - our GP is lovely, very down to earth, very straight talking, but very kind and with a lovely manner. Sadly, we are supposed to be losing him - and all the other GP's from the practice - at the end of this year
Not sure of exactly what happened, but all have declined to renew their contract at the surgery, and so it will be all new GP's - dreading it, he was so fantastic with Mil and is just generally such a good doctor - we've been lucky to have him. The way you describe yourself as feeling is pretty much how I feel. The 'slogging through treacle' - oh yes! And so, so tired - sleeping really badly I know, but even so, the physical tiredness when I don't feel like I'm doing as much as usual is ridiculous. And I can add that I'm getting way too easily frustrated and cross about stupid little things, minor annoyances that I'd previously brush off - the check out girl in the supermarket yesterday was extemely lucky not to get a real mouthful from me, after firstly spending more time chatting to, rather than actually serving, the customer in front of me, despite the long lines at the till - and then she slung my stuff through, quickly and very carelessly, as if to make up for lost time - I'm surprised that the half dozen eggs remained whole! Annoying, yes - but hardly enough to make me as angry as I felt at the time. I really had to bite my tongue, and I swore under my breath all the way back to the car. My lovely GP said he didn't think I was 'depressed' - but he did think that, amongst other things that I'd been dealing with, I was emotionally wrung out from grieving, and that I most definitely
was grieving because the Mil I used to know and love has gone, as surely as if she had died. He told me not to under-estimate just how powerful grief can be, particularly when combined with incredibly stressful circumstances - which is a situation you certainly had to deal with when you were trying so hard to support your Fil, Amy. He pointed out that if I'd broken my leg, I'd accept pain relief whilst I recovered physically - the medication he has given me is just similar 'pain relief' whilst I recover emotionally and mentally. I can't say that its made much of a difference yet - he did warn me it would be 2 - 4 weeks till I felt a difference - and there have been some expected side effects (headaches and some feelings of nausea) which are 'normal' and should stop after about 7 - 10 days. But he convinced me to stick with them, saying that it was pointless to struggle though these feelings without help, when help was actually available. So, if your Ob/gyn or therapist is supportive, I would go and see either one and get their take on how you feel, they may be able to reassure you to the point where you are able to approach your GP - I actually felt better, less of a wimp for feeling like this, after I'd been xxx
JM, its great to read that your daughter is so much better with the iron tablets - so pleased for her, and for you, because it must have been such a worry for you. And any lessening of the teenage 'strops' has to be a good thing - maybe I should get some for my girl, as she has been a real 'Kevin' over the last few weeks! Even asking her to put her flipping shoes away brings forth huffs and eye rolls and sighs and moans - you'd swear I'd asked her to scrub the house from top to bottom rather than just pick up a pair of shoes
The holiday sounds eventful - but an awful lot of fun too! And very reasonable! We tend to pay between £20 and £30 a night for up to 4 of us at campsites when we go off in Old Red, which is considerably more than your week cost! I am cutting back on the visits to Mil - I haven't been since Sunday (though I am going today), but I don't think I would be able to avoid stress if I left the washing to the hospital. I know this is my 'problem' and probably not a biggie in the grand scheme, but fairly often we go in and see patients wandering round in their own tops but also wearing these awful PJ bottoms that the hospital supply - from a distance, when I first saw someonw wearing them, they looked like convict trousers! They are awful, baggy and shapeless and often they tend to hang down at the back, revealing the incontinence pants and netties that a lot of the patients I guess have to wear
I saw one chaps had fallen right down one day, and as a nurse 'hitched' them up, a comment was made about how behind they were with the patients laundry - the frequency with which I see patients wearing these awful things indicates that they must be behind with the laundry on a fairly regular basis! I am not knocking the staff - there are days when they are flat out, and even when its fairly calm there, you don't see the staff hanging round the desk chatting, they are always engageing with the patients, talking to them, doing activities, etc, so I can understand that the laundry isn't exactly at the top of their priorities - but I would just feel dreadful if I walked in and found Mil dressed like that. Its so completely undignified, and just knowing how mortified the 'Old' Mil would have been is enough for me to know that I would be upset if I found her like that.
Red, NY is one of the (many) places I want to visit - its a photographers paradise, I'm told
I hope you have a fabulous time. And you are right - grab your chances now! One of the first things that we plan to do, once we get ourselves 'straight' and a little more financially stable, is to save for holidays - a week somewhere sunny and restful to start, then save for a 'bigger' trip.
Slugsta, not impressed that you are having to make so many visits to accompany the new carers - in home care sometimes family would be there for the first visit - but not after that, for goodness sake, part of our role was to relieve the strain on families! As for the late arrival - not impressed there either, though I understand how it happens. As far as I am aware, its generally the case that agreements with care agencies tend to have the provision that the carers must arrive within 15 minutes of the agreed call time - however, with few care companies actually allowing for travel time in between visits, its often an impossible goal for the carers
The only way round it is to get the call listed as 'time critical' - but they generally don't tell people about that! Mil was at one stage, picked up from her first DC by support workers and taken out on activities. They were supposed to collect her at 3pm, but we later found out, after a series of incidents where Mil was behaving dreadfully for her support workers, that actually they weren't turning up until as late as 3.30 - by which time, Mil (who always wanted to leave anyway) had seen everyone else go and was understandably agitated. The manager at that day care also complained and that helped to get Mils call marked as 'time critical' - they had to turn up on time, which meant that the agency couldn't overload the call list, they had to allow time for the carer to get to Mil. If the lateness is causing issues and even risks for your Mum, then getting the call classed as 'time critical' may be the only way to ensure that they arrive within a reasonable time frame - might mean some shouting though, which I am darn sure you can do without
The lockable cash box is a great idea - we have one we used for Mil (provided by the OT's, at their suggestion!). Mil objected, but as she was helping herself to her meds willy nilly, adamant that she knew what she was doing, and was giving us serious grief for hiding them (to try and keep her safe), it proved to be really useful - we spun her a tale about how it was 'the law' that medication must be 'locked away' and kept safe, which she reluctantly accepted and it saved us a lot of angst. She tried a few times to get into the box, but obviously she could never remember the code - so she would either have to ask (at which time we could point out it was the wrong time for meds) or give up. She did throw it in temper once or twice though - I still have a cracked/chipped tile on my kitchen floor, which was the result of one outburst
Grace and Spamar and everyone else - hope you are all OK? xxxx
Visited Mil on Sunday, as I said - she was less agitated while we were there, but clear signs that she hadn't had the best of days - sweaty, dishevelled, stained clothes, a little breathless. One staff told us that she had been 'cleaning' all day, insisting it was her job and fretting over 'getting finished on time' (She used to clean in a nursing home, over 20 years ago!). She and 'Little V' (another paitient) had been persuaded to sit and have a drink just before we arrived, and we landed in the middle of a rather bizarre conversation where Little V was insisting that Mil had told her that
'that man over there' (pointing at another paitient, who must be in his late 70's at least) was Mil's son, and Mil was insisting that no he wasn't - he was her brother! Or at least, that semed to be the gist of it - both ladies were mis-hearing each other, which sent the conversation off into all sorts of convoluted directions - however, neither seemed to even notice how jumbled and disjointed the chat was. OH and I more or less sat back and let them get on with it. At one point, a nurse came and checked Mils blood pressure and temperature. As the nurse walked away, Mil turned to us and in a rather sarky tone said
"Bless - I think she wants to be a nurse - when she grows up!, which set OH, myself and a couple of nearby nurses off laughing. This was followed by her suddenly asking about my Mum. Now, I've avoided telling her that Mum had died - just didn't see the point and was worried that it might play into Mils agitation. But OH had no such qulams and told her that my Mum had passed away. Mil said she was sorry to hear that, thought for a minute, then rather surprisingly asked me was Mum alone when she died? I told her no, that my step Dad had been at the hospital with her. Another pause, then in a really snipey voice Mil said
"Huh - so he actually turned out to have some use in the end then, did he?". I honestly have no idea what that comment was about, but just the tone and the expression on her face struck me as incredibly (and probably inappropriately) funny - and it did OH too - the pair of us just collapsed laughing again. Mil glared and told me that
"YOU know what I mean, Ann" - but I honestly don't have a clue. Thankfully, the imminent arrival of lunch meant we could escape with no problems a couple of minutes later - but I do wonder what on earth she had confabulated about my S-dad that made her so scathing!
I should hear in the next few days when I start work - references have all been given, all paperwork done, DBS going through (I've had so many of these done with my past history of care work, that it shouldn't take too long). I'm still really nervous about the prospect, but telling myself that once I start, I'll be fine - so I just want to get going now. At the moment, I have no idea how big the team will be, and though I know what my job is, I don't know exactly what my 'place' is in the team, or even where exactly we will be based - all this will be revealed at the induction, I guess. I'm telling myself that I'll feel better when I know!
Right - once again, I have ironing and housework awaiting, so I'd better get cracking. Have a good day, everyone xxxxx