Mum finally went into a care home on 7th July. She'd been going to day care for 7 weeks and loved it, not wanting to go home at the end of the day! When I moved her in she was happy, had a lovely room and was not at all bothered about leaving her home. I was told by the staff that the 4 week trial period was "just a formality" as they knew her and she wouldn't have any trouble settling. She was fine for the first week, then had a small fall and became more "wobbly " on her feet. She also became confused, aggressive towards the staff and critical. Eventually a urine infection was diagnosed and she was started on antibiotics. By then she had been in the home for 11 days
She remained confused, low in mood, tearful and /or angry for several days. She had 4 more small falls, began to wander around and be more demanding on the staff. I constantly asked if this would impact on her being able to stay permanently at the home and was told no it would be fine. One carer told me "they're all like that when they come in, she's not the worst" plus I was reassured that the changes she'd been through, leaving her home, being more restricted would all have impacted on her
Yesterday the manager returned from 2 weeks holiday and phoned me just before 10am to tell me it was obvious mum hadn't settled, she wasn't happy and they couldn't meet her needs. She effectively gave me 4 weeks notice to find her another home. Despite me seeing a gradual improvement in mum since her antibiotics started, and addressing this with her, she seemed to have made her decision and that was that
I am gutted. Not just because of the impact another move will have on mum, but the thought of going through the process of trawling round and finding another home, and quickly. I work full time and am already exhausted by the last few months of caring for mum.I cant believe this decision has been made so quickly, especially after all the reassurances i was given. Many people have expressed disbelief that the home have not taken the UTI into account and given her more time to get over it and see if she settles down. Yesterday I sent most of the day in tears. Today I am just plain angry. Especially as I visited tonight and none of the staff seemed to want to engage with me or even pass the time of day.
The manager herself was leaving as I arrived. I said hello, she nodded, dropped her head and walked out of the door. My son visited with me for the first time and commented afterwards that the staff didn't seem very friendly
Does anyone think I am over-reacting? Both my sisters, (who live abroad) keep telling me just to accept it and that we just need to find her somewhere else. But they don't have to do all the hard work looking and then moving mum again.
She remained confused, low in mood, tearful and /or angry for several days. She had 4 more small falls, began to wander around and be more demanding on the staff. I constantly asked if this would impact on her being able to stay permanently at the home and was told no it would be fine. One carer told me "they're all like that when they come in, she's not the worst" plus I was reassured that the changes she'd been through, leaving her home, being more restricted would all have impacted on her
Yesterday the manager returned from 2 weeks holiday and phoned me just before 10am to tell me it was obvious mum hadn't settled, she wasn't happy and they couldn't meet her needs. She effectively gave me 4 weeks notice to find her another home. Despite me seeing a gradual improvement in mum since her antibiotics started, and addressing this with her, she seemed to have made her decision and that was that
I am gutted. Not just because of the impact another move will have on mum, but the thought of going through the process of trawling round and finding another home, and quickly. I work full time and am already exhausted by the last few months of caring for mum.I cant believe this decision has been made so quickly, especially after all the reassurances i was given. Many people have expressed disbelief that the home have not taken the UTI into account and given her more time to get over it and see if she settles down. Yesterday I sent most of the day in tears. Today I am just plain angry. Especially as I visited tonight and none of the staff seemed to want to engage with me or even pass the time of day.
The manager herself was leaving as I arrived. I said hello, she nodded, dropped her head and walked out of the door. My son visited with me for the first time and commented afterwards that the staff didn't seem very friendly
Does anyone think I am over-reacting? Both my sisters, (who live abroad) keep telling me just to accept it and that we just need to find her somewhere else. But they don't have to do all the hard work looking and then moving mum again.