I care for mum and dad both with dementia

[Jaff]

Please I need some advice....... anyone..... had a call from my dad's nursing home........ that dad become very frail.. will not eat or drink now..... they called me in to see if he would drink for me...... also they sent for Dr
Which now coming tomorrow...... they told me tonight...... any way.. question? Which I don't want to ask
Is his time near..... going back this thing in the morning....... felt as full. He did not want me to go...keeped shaking his head no..... when I told him I was leaving..... I had to go.. as I have got to get my Dr note and take it to work....... then right after that I will go to dad's
So does anyone know.... Is this the beginning of the end.
..

 

[Jaff]

Phone playing up sorry.

 

[canary]

(((((hugs))))) Jaff
I dont know whether its the beginning of the end, but it could be.
On the other hand mum stopped eating and drinking at the beginning of the year and I thought it was the end, but she bounced back. Either way its a difficult time for you and Im so sorry.
You are being pulled several different ways at the moment and it must be so hard.

 

[BR_ANA]

Idk. However I would be ready. I would ask SS for respite for your mother so you could stay more with your dad (as you said you wish on early post).

 

[Jaff]

Dad died.... this morning..... at five past eight....

 

[DMac]

Dad died.... this morning..... at five past eight....

Jaff, so very sorry. My thoughts are with you. Please, take things slowly and take good care of yourself in all of this. ((((hugs))))

 

[Shedrech]

My gosh Jaff
such sad news - I'm so sorry
you've been an amazing support to your dad and given so much of yourself
please do go gently for a while, you need to take this sadness in and breath a while
I know there will be arrangements to make; please take your time and accept any help offered
best wishes and condolences to you and your mum

 

[canary]

Oh jaff, Im so very sorry - I cant believe how quick that was
((((hugs))))) You did everything in your power for your dad at a time when you were being pulled so many different ways. Be gentle and dont expect too much from yourself now.

 

[jknight]

Dad died.... this morning..... at five past eight....

Oh Jaff, I am so sorry. You did so much for your lovely dad! Be comforted knowing that you couldn't have done more xxx

 

[Jaff]

Thank you guys... for your support. This site. Was the best thing I ever did. All of you are amazing.... I can not thank you enough. It was a peaceful passing........ even the Dr. Says he now looks peaceful.... oh how my heart is breaking... can not stop crying... please never give up... how ever hard it gets.. all of you keep up thegood work and care with all your heart.

 

[HillyBilly]

So, so sorry for your loss Jaff.
You've been amazing with everything, it must be so hard to be pulled in two like you have been. Please look after yourself. I hope you can find strength from within to cope with the grief you must be feeling because nobody could have done more than you x

 

[Dave66]

Hi Jaff

I'm greatly saddened to hear this news Jaff.
I have followed your very difficult and touching story for a while now and hoped with all my heart that things would eventually become a bit easier for you.

I know this is going to be a very emotional and trying time for you, but please try to give yourself to breathe, grieve and focus on the future with your Mum.

You have truly be super human and an inspiration for what you have endured during all of this, feel proud, you have loved your parents and done your very best for them both.

Please accept my most sincere condolences, I hope you see the light.

 

[tigerlady]

Dear Jaff. I haven't posted on your thread before, but I have been following your posts with such sadness and admiration for you with all that you have had to cope with.

Your visits brought such comfort and pleasure for your Dad, and you could have done no more. He's at peace now and I'm so glad he had a peaceful passing and is no longer in torment or pain.

You must try and look after yourself now x

 

[jugglingmum]

So sorry Jaff, I've followed your journey and you did everything you could for your dad

 

[Jaff]

Dads funeral. Is on the 29 July at 2. 40...... have a car which takes wheelchair... so now we wait

 

[Roses40]

Jaff please accept my condolances on your Dad's passing. Helping my Mam and Dad for many years has been so hard and I lost my Mam last year March. My Dad is now in a care home yet he seems to be settling. This is such a surreal time isn't it? My thoughts are with you, love Rose x

 

[Jaff]

Had a very hard day today...... cleared dad's room out. Have never stoped crying.. and I have had phone calls from cousins..... say that they will come on Friday...... why could they be there when both in hospital?? When I needed help the most.... words fail me..

 

[canary]

Had a very hard day today...... cleared dad's room out. Have never stoped crying.. and I have had phone calls from cousins..... say that they will come on Friday...... why could they be there when both in hospital?? When I needed help the most.... words fail me..

I think there is probably a whole army of people reading those words and going - yes, why indeed...?

 

[Shedrech]

Hi Jaff
just to say am thinking of you and your mum
I do wonder how I'll deal with dad's funeral when it's time - all those relatives who never ask after him
you're a wonderful daughter - and an amazing woman to have carried all this on your own
best wishes

 

[mot]

Jaff, have been following your journey and am also one who has been inspired by your determination and loyalty to your parents. I know this is a difficult time for you and my heart is heavy for your loss.

You did an amazing job of taking care of your dad. I cannot imagine being pulled in so many directions and handling things. YOU, my dear, did everything humanly possible and did it well!!

Crying is cleansing for me. It seems to "wash away" so many things!

And, yes, cousins and others will show up and say nice and lovely things - offer help and so on. And I agree with Canary that most all who read this are wondering where they all were (or are) in our times of need!

You are never alone with all of us here! Am sending lots of love and hugs to you today! Keep us posted.

Mot