Hi Jackie, this suggestion won't stop the pain - nothing ever can, but it might help to ease it a little after the visit. When you take your husband's mother to visit, perhaps you could arrange some little treat for her afterwards? Perhaps a visit to a tea shop to chat together in a place she has associated with pleasure in the past? Or go on to the supermarket and discuss what you are having for tea. Anything which will ease the pain a little is worth trying.
God knows I understand your own pain all to well. You are the main bearer of all this but sometimes a little extra kind gesture will also help you and ease the pain of the situation a little for her. xxTinaT