Finding the right care home
Dotty - that's all very useful information - thank you.
One good thing about mum being in a 'grotty' home for respite is that it's clear that I want certain 'standards' for her, even though she may not be aware. Dirty toilets and an obvious lack of cleaning after the last resident are appalling situations. So, if nothing else, it will help me focus down to a list of requirements. She must have people in the home who speak one of her languages (though she can speak English, she reverts to the others) and I want her to be able to see a blade of grass, as you say.
I've seen the secure facilities in the larger homes and it was clear that people are 'incarcerated' and never step out into fresh air. That's how it is where she is now - there is a bit of garden outside, but one of the carers said they can't use it as no staffing for the supervision!
Both of the homes I have her listed for have gardens and one has a 'follow on' nursing home next door. Currently, she does not need nursing. Whether she would use the gardens or not is debatable - but at least it's there. Only about a week ago I had her digging with a spade in the greenhouse and weeding in the garden, so she still wanted to participate. She also chatted to a robin who, bless him, perched on a pot beside her, so I want to be able to put some bird feeders outside her window (they have one stuck to the window at current place but, alas, it's empty of seed!).
I also considered paying for a carer to go in to support one to one, I had actually forgotten about that idea, but will add to the list. It may be a way of keeping some kind of continuity of people she has grown familiar with. I'm not sure if the care agency offer that service though, and whether the homes would accept it.
The current place seems like God's waiting room too - no one speaks - but there's my mum trying to get some kind of conversation out of them! Most of the other residents are far more advanced than mum. She's not ready for silence just yet. Fortunately, I've seen how some of the carers interact with the residents, so am confident that someone is conversing with her.
Live in carers would not work for me - I just can't get round someone living in my home like that.
I do hope I find somewhere nice, eventually. At least I've got a bit of time now to whittle down the key requirements.
Just booked myself into a hotel for Saturday night - so will have lunch with my friend and her partner, see their new home for the first time, no doubt have a few laughs, and then go and stay overnight down the road from them. I might book a massage for Sunday morning as they do have a spa!
Dotty - that's all very useful information - thank you.
One good thing about mum being in a 'grotty' home for respite is that it's clear that I want certain 'standards' for her, even though she may not be aware. Dirty toilets and an obvious lack of cleaning after the last resident are appalling situations. So, if nothing else, it will help me focus down to a list of requirements. She must have people in the home who speak one of her languages (though she can speak English, she reverts to the others) and I want her to be able to see a blade of grass, as you say.
I've seen the secure facilities in the larger homes and it was clear that people are 'incarcerated' and never step out into fresh air. That's how it is where she is now - there is a bit of garden outside, but one of the carers said they can't use it as no staffing for the supervision!
Both of the homes I have her listed for have gardens and one has a 'follow on' nursing home next door. Currently, she does not need nursing. Whether she would use the gardens or not is debatable - but at least it's there. Only about a week ago I had her digging with a spade in the greenhouse and weeding in the garden, so she still wanted to participate. She also chatted to a robin who, bless him, perched on a pot beside her, so I want to be able to put some bird feeders outside her window (they have one stuck to the window at current place but, alas, it's empty of seed!).
I also considered paying for a carer to go in to support one to one, I had actually forgotten about that idea, but will add to the list. It may be a way of keeping some kind of continuity of people she has grown familiar with. I'm not sure if the care agency offer that service though, and whether the homes would accept it.
The current place seems like God's waiting room too - no one speaks - but there's my mum trying to get some kind of conversation out of them! Most of the other residents are far more advanced than mum. She's not ready for silence just yet. Fortunately, I've seen how some of the carers interact with the residents, so am confident that someone is conversing with her.
Live in carers would not work for me - I just can't get round someone living in my home like that.
I do hope I find somewhere nice, eventually. At least I've got a bit of time now to whittle down the key requirements.
Just booked myself into a hotel for Saturday night - so will have lunch with my friend and her partner, see their new home for the first time, no doubt have a few laughs, and then go and stay overnight down the road from them. I might book a massage for Sunday morning as they do have a spa!