As briefly as I can:
My mum was deemed to lack capacity and a DOLS was put in place
At the Best Interest Meeting in late 2013 (which included social services) an independent advocate was deemed unnecessary for my mum "as her family were representing her"
This is the exact phrase used in the minutes of the meeting.
She then went into a care home - against my wishes and also against my mum's wishes.
I'd wanted to trial a proper comprehensive care package/visits to a day centre etc. before uprooting her from her sheltered accommodation flat which my mum loved.
As I have mentioned in my previous posts, my circumstances regarding caring for my mum myself are made more difficult by the fact that I am unable to be in the UK as I no longer have a base there.
Fast forward 18 months.
My youngest daughter and I have recently resumed contact (after said legal dispute regarding the house in the UK) and it is clear that she also now has grave doubts over the care my mum is receiving in the care home.
She also admits that she hasn't visited my mum as often as she thought she'd be able to. I only mention this because it is clear that the care home have taken full advantage of the fact that my mum hasn't had anyone physically visiting her/ checking up on her.
I've had issues with the care home since I'd visited my mum in June 2014.
I asked (very politely at first) why my mum had no toiletries and no underwear either in her room or on her body.
There were several other issues.
After receiving a reply which said "thank you for buying toiletries" I could then get no further info regarding why these items hadn't been bought and charged to her account at the care home - as I'd made clear in writing.
After 6 months of attempting to get straight answers I made a formal complaint. Received a letter of apology from the owner, with no explanations, although she did say that the Manager had "reflected on her practices".
Basically "sorry, but let's move on"
I made it clear that several of the points really did need an answer.
I then received a veiled threat that my mum may be given 28 days notice to leave.
I backed off and hoped that lessons had been learned and that my mum's care would improve.
Earlier this year:
After months of not receiving any kind of communication from the manager, my mother became ill with a prolapse and I was notified.
First I was told it was vaginal - she'd previously had a hysterectomy because of this so I was surprised to say the least.
I was then told it was a rectal prolapse and that she would be seeing a consultant at the hospital.
Both my daughter and I had initially been told that she was being accompanied by a member of staff and that it was a pre-arranged appointment.
However, my daughter (when she asked again later that evening) was then told that my mother had been sent to hospital unaccompanied.
My daughter went to collect my mum from hospital as when she'd phoned there, she could hear that my mum was upset.
My mum didn't have an appointment. She was actually in A&E, dressed only in a nightie. It was a freezing night and my daughter had to ask staff for a blanket.
She also noticed immediately that my mum had a large bump on the front of her head, highly visible and with faded yellow bruising.
She took photos.
When she returned to the care home, she asked staff about these injuries, but they knew nothing about them.
She also noticed a badly bruised toe, which my daughter thought could be a fracture
and lots of small cuts on her legs.
A day later, she contacted the care home manager, who also knew nothing about any of the injuries and said she would investigate and get back to her.
This is the only reason we came to know about the injuries - if my daughter hadn't collected her grandmother from A & E, none of us would be any the wiser.
All of us questioned the wisdom of sending a poorly/frail person unaccompanied to A & E, especially as she has Alzheimer's and as staff had previously told us that she WOULD be accompanied.
I spoke to the unit manager who said that my mother hadn't wanted to put warm clothes on.
I made the point that on that occasion it really wasn't about what my mother wanted - it was what was in her best interests - especially as when I spoke to her the next day, she sounded dreadful and had obviously caught a chill.
I also made the point that a bag of warm clothes could have been given to hospital staff - and I questioned why a member of staff from the care home hadn't gone with my mum, as we'd originally been told.
I'd already relayed this to the manager, whose reply was "she was on a stretcher" - that apparently was considered by her to be an adequate explanation.
This conversation was civil but I made it clear that it that I didn't feel my mum had been properly cared for.
The next day my eldest daughter received an email from the manager of the care home, giving my mother 28 days notice to leave.
No explanation was given.
The manager then refused to communicate further.
The notice period grew shorter and still she would not communicate with us, although she told my younger daughter that "your mother's complaining again"
As we were naturally worried that my mum would be homeless we contacted social services, who informed us that they'd closed my mother's case and referred us to "community response and reablement"
Had to send them several emails all marked "urgent" before they actually replied, saying that a social worker would be visiting the care home/my mother.
Since then, there have been several meetings and assessments.
According to this social worker, my mother suddenly now has "full mental capacity" as far as her choice of care and residence is concerned.
She says that my mother wants to stay at the care home.
I pointed out that I can supply phone calls (recent and old) where my mum says the exact opposite.
Even the unit manager at the care home has told me that my mother gets upset and wants to "go home" every day.
It is also ridiculous to suggest she has full mental capacity - but it suits the care home/social services to say this, as apparently my mother has also suddenly specified that she doesn't want any of us to see the documentation we've been requesting:
Care plan/incident and injury reports/weight records/body maps/photos of injuries/information regarding diet etc. etc.
Basically everything to do with my mum's care and wellbeing.
This is laughable. My mum has and never has had any problem with us seeing this.
My youngest daughter then went to the care home and asked the unit manager to witness a conversation with her grandmother. She immediately refused.
So my daughter recorded her grandmother saying freely that of course we can see any documentation we want to.
I also phoned her and she said the exact same thing and that she was glad we were looking after her.
Some meetings/assessments between social services/the care home have been held in secret.
I was deliberately excluded from a meeting and my daughter was not notified of another - despite being told by the social worker that she would be.
Strangely it is during these meetings and assessments that my mum apparently says she wants to stay at the care home and that she doesn't want any of her family to see any documentation.
We have pointed out that the manager of the care home has (twice) given my mum notice to leave.
According to the social worker, if my mum says she wants to stay, then she can stay.
Also, the care home manager apparently MAY be able to allow my mother to stay on - despite having given her notice TWICE, the last time during a meeting with this SAME social worker.
We've said this is untenable, as the care home will not communicate transparently with us regarding my mum's care.
We've also highlighted the recent injuries (which weren't reported to us) and of course the state my daughter found her grandmother in recently:
I won't go into detail, but we have photos of the condition my daughter found her grandmother (my mother) in when she happened to visit in May.
and we've been told by several experts who manage or work in care homes that it is totally unacceptable.
We insisted on Safeguarding paying a visit to the care home - this was done reluctantly and didn't happen immediately.
We were then told that the state my daughter had found her grandmother in was an isolated incident.
Strange because the member of staff that she spoke to when she raised the alarm actually said to my daughter that it happened all the time.
There have been several events/injuries to my mother since March.
I am assuming that as the care home have refused to communicate with me for several months prior to March, that there may well have been other similar injuries that we know nothing about.
The latest injuries occurred a week or so ago and was described as "unwitnessed incidents" involve an "abrasion" this time on the back of her head and apparently she was found lying on the floor in her room.
I've asked the manager to confirm that my mum's room will be checked for hazards (she has a rug which I think she may have tripped over) and also asked whether it might be due to low blood sugar - she's lost over half a stone in a few weeks.
I also suggested that high cal drinks/supplements should be used.
No reply back on any of this from the care home manager - it's as if we don't exist.
However the care home manager DOES have the time to email me to say that she has also consulted my mother about whether or not she wants us to see the documentation.
Surprise surprise, my mother apparently doesn't want us to see it...
Now social services are saying that an independent advocate is being called in.
We have reminded them that this is not necessary - and this was decided in a best interest meeting just before my mum went into the care home.
We've pointed this out and also questioned the legality of what social services are doing.
We've also questioned how they can suddenly exclude us from having any say over my mum's care - despite the fact that we are representing her and an IMCA is unnecessary - and that this was stipulated in a best interest meeting in 2013.
We've asked what has changed about my mother's situation, except that since going into this care home, she is physically weaker/more depressed/less active than she was before she went there.
It is clear that social services are determined that my mother will stay at this care home, and are ignoring evidence that she does not want to/that she is sustaining injuries that are unreported and undocumented/that the care home are routinely allowing her to be in a state similar to the one which my daughter recently found her.
I could go on and on.
Please, if anyone knows what we should do and what rights social services have to do this, please send me a private message.
We all think that the only recourse we now have is to threaten to make available the email history/events to local and national press.
My mum was deemed to lack capacity and a DOLS was put in place
At the Best Interest Meeting in late 2013 (which included social services) an independent advocate was deemed unnecessary for my mum "as her family were representing her"
This is the exact phrase used in the minutes of the meeting.
She then went into a care home - against my wishes and also against my mum's wishes.
I'd wanted to trial a proper comprehensive care package/visits to a day centre etc. before uprooting her from her sheltered accommodation flat which my mum loved.
As I have mentioned in my previous posts, my circumstances regarding caring for my mum myself are made more difficult by the fact that I am unable to be in the UK as I no longer have a base there.
Fast forward 18 months.
My youngest daughter and I have recently resumed contact (after said legal dispute regarding the house in the UK) and it is clear that she also now has grave doubts over the care my mum is receiving in the care home.
She also admits that she hasn't visited my mum as often as she thought she'd be able to. I only mention this because it is clear that the care home have taken full advantage of the fact that my mum hasn't had anyone physically visiting her/ checking up on her.
I've had issues with the care home since I'd visited my mum in June 2014.
I asked (very politely at first) why my mum had no toiletries and no underwear either in her room or on her body.
There were several other issues.
After receiving a reply which said "thank you for buying toiletries" I could then get no further info regarding why these items hadn't been bought and charged to her account at the care home - as I'd made clear in writing.
After 6 months of attempting to get straight answers I made a formal complaint. Received a letter of apology from the owner, with no explanations, although she did say that the Manager had "reflected on her practices".
Basically "sorry, but let's move on"
I made it clear that several of the points really did need an answer.
I then received a veiled threat that my mum may be given 28 days notice to leave.
I backed off and hoped that lessons had been learned and that my mum's care would improve.
Earlier this year:
After months of not receiving any kind of communication from the manager, my mother became ill with a prolapse and I was notified.
First I was told it was vaginal - she'd previously had a hysterectomy because of this so I was surprised to say the least.
I was then told it was a rectal prolapse and that she would be seeing a consultant at the hospital.
Both my daughter and I had initially been told that she was being accompanied by a member of staff and that it was a pre-arranged appointment.
However, my daughter (when she asked again later that evening) was then told that my mother had been sent to hospital unaccompanied.
My daughter went to collect my mum from hospital as when she'd phoned there, she could hear that my mum was upset.
My mum didn't have an appointment. She was actually in A&E, dressed only in a nightie. It was a freezing night and my daughter had to ask staff for a blanket.
She also noticed immediately that my mum had a large bump on the front of her head, highly visible and with faded yellow bruising.
She took photos.
When she returned to the care home, she asked staff about these injuries, but they knew nothing about them.
She also noticed a badly bruised toe, which my daughter thought could be a fracture
and lots of small cuts on her legs.
A day later, she contacted the care home manager, who also knew nothing about any of the injuries and said she would investigate and get back to her.
This is the only reason we came to know about the injuries - if my daughter hadn't collected her grandmother from A & E, none of us would be any the wiser.
All of us questioned the wisdom of sending a poorly/frail person unaccompanied to A & E, especially as she has Alzheimer's and as staff had previously told us that she WOULD be accompanied.
I spoke to the unit manager who said that my mother hadn't wanted to put warm clothes on.
I made the point that on that occasion it really wasn't about what my mother wanted - it was what was in her best interests - especially as when I spoke to her the next day, she sounded dreadful and had obviously caught a chill.
I also made the point that a bag of warm clothes could have been given to hospital staff - and I questioned why a member of staff from the care home hadn't gone with my mum, as we'd originally been told.
I'd already relayed this to the manager, whose reply was "she was on a stretcher" - that apparently was considered by her to be an adequate explanation.
This conversation was civil but I made it clear that it that I didn't feel my mum had been properly cared for.
The next day my eldest daughter received an email from the manager of the care home, giving my mother 28 days notice to leave.
No explanation was given.
The manager then refused to communicate further.
The notice period grew shorter and still she would not communicate with us, although she told my younger daughter that "your mother's complaining again"
As we were naturally worried that my mum would be homeless we contacted social services, who informed us that they'd closed my mother's case and referred us to "community response and reablement"
Had to send them several emails all marked "urgent" before they actually replied, saying that a social worker would be visiting the care home/my mother.
Since then, there have been several meetings and assessments.
According to this social worker, my mother suddenly now has "full mental capacity" as far as her choice of care and residence is concerned.
She says that my mother wants to stay at the care home.
I pointed out that I can supply phone calls (recent and old) where my mum says the exact opposite.
Even the unit manager at the care home has told me that my mother gets upset and wants to "go home" every day.
It is also ridiculous to suggest she has full mental capacity - but it suits the care home/social services to say this, as apparently my mother has also suddenly specified that she doesn't want any of us to see the documentation we've been requesting:
Care plan/incident and injury reports/weight records/body maps/photos of injuries/information regarding diet etc. etc.
Basically everything to do with my mum's care and wellbeing.
This is laughable. My mum has and never has had any problem with us seeing this.
My youngest daughter then went to the care home and asked the unit manager to witness a conversation with her grandmother. She immediately refused.
So my daughter recorded her grandmother saying freely that of course we can see any documentation we want to.
I also phoned her and she said the exact same thing and that she was glad we were looking after her.
Some meetings/assessments between social services/the care home have been held in secret.
I was deliberately excluded from a meeting and my daughter was not notified of another - despite being told by the social worker that she would be.
Strangely it is during these meetings and assessments that my mum apparently says she wants to stay at the care home and that she doesn't want any of her family to see any documentation.
We have pointed out that the manager of the care home has (twice) given my mum notice to leave.
According to the social worker, if my mum says she wants to stay, then she can stay.
Also, the care home manager apparently MAY be able to allow my mother to stay on - despite having given her notice TWICE, the last time during a meeting with this SAME social worker.
We've said this is untenable, as the care home will not communicate transparently with us regarding my mum's care.
We've also highlighted the recent injuries (which weren't reported to us) and of course the state my daughter found her grandmother in recently:
I won't go into detail, but we have photos of the condition my daughter found her grandmother (my mother) in when she happened to visit in May.
and we've been told by several experts who manage or work in care homes that it is totally unacceptable.
We insisted on Safeguarding paying a visit to the care home - this was done reluctantly and didn't happen immediately.
We were then told that the state my daughter had found her grandmother in was an isolated incident.
Strange because the member of staff that she spoke to when she raised the alarm actually said to my daughter that it happened all the time.
There have been several events/injuries to my mother since March.
I am assuming that as the care home have refused to communicate with me for several months prior to March, that there may well have been other similar injuries that we know nothing about.
The latest injuries occurred a week or so ago and was described as "unwitnessed incidents" involve an "abrasion" this time on the back of her head and apparently she was found lying on the floor in her room.
I've asked the manager to confirm that my mum's room will be checked for hazards (she has a rug which I think she may have tripped over) and also asked whether it might be due to low blood sugar - she's lost over half a stone in a few weeks.
I also suggested that high cal drinks/supplements should be used.
No reply back on any of this from the care home manager - it's as if we don't exist.
However the care home manager DOES have the time to email me to say that she has also consulted my mother about whether or not she wants us to see the documentation.
Surprise surprise, my mother apparently doesn't want us to see it...
Now social services are saying that an independent advocate is being called in.
We have reminded them that this is not necessary - and this was decided in a best interest meeting just before my mum went into the care home.
We've pointed this out and also questioned the legality of what social services are doing.
We've also questioned how they can suddenly exclude us from having any say over my mum's care - despite the fact that we are representing her and an IMCA is unnecessary - and that this was stipulated in a best interest meeting in 2013.
We've asked what has changed about my mother's situation, except that since going into this care home, she is physically weaker/more depressed/less active than she was before she went there.
It is clear that social services are determined that my mother will stay at this care home, and are ignoring evidence that she does not want to/that she is sustaining injuries that are unreported and undocumented/that the care home are routinely allowing her to be in a state similar to the one which my daughter recently found her.
I could go on and on.
Please, if anyone knows what we should do and what rights social services have to do this, please send me a private message.
We all think that the only recourse we now have is to threaten to make available the email history/events to local and national press.
Thank heavens your loved ones have you to look out for them, heaven knows what is happening to those who don't have anyone to see what is happening.
