So next Wednesday I am taking my mum to a nice carehome I found for her. She visited last week as a day visitor, loved it, and will visit on Monday as a day visitor as well. But she thinks it's just a cafe for old people where you go for the day and then come home at night. I've been telling her they will look after her while I am away on business but the penny hasnt dropped. On Wednesday I'll drive her there and they will take her to her room (very nice, which I will have personalised a bit and brought some of her clothes) and I will explain she'll be staying there tonight while I fly off to America.(half-truth)
And then I will leave.
The plan is, if she settles during her trial visit, she will stay permanently. And I know for certain it is the best thing for her and the care home and people are lovely. She will think so too, once she gets into it.
But every day since I signed the papers last week I have been thinking about that moment of realisation when she sees her room and when I leave her - and feeling like I am dumping a child in a Victorian workhouse! Today I have woken up feeling like I want to cry
I have read all the comments about how much better it is when they are in care homes, about how others went through the same worries and how it all worked out. But I still want to cry. She might think I betrayed her; I abandoned her.
Or, of course, she might love it and not even think of me. I realise that, but I can't seem to focus on the positive at the moment.
And then I will leave.
The plan is, if she settles during her trial visit, she will stay permanently. And I know for certain it is the best thing for her and the care home and people are lovely. She will think so too, once she gets into it.
But every day since I signed the papers last week I have been thinking about that moment of realisation when she sees her room and when I leave her - and feeling like I am dumping a child in a Victorian workhouse! Today I have woken up feeling like I want to cry
I have read all the comments about how much better it is when they are in care homes, about how others went through the same worries and how it all worked out. But I still want to cry. She might think I betrayed her; I abandoned her.
Or, of course, she might love it and not even think of me. I realise that, but I can't seem to focus on the positive at the moment.