Hi
I'm sorry, but its been a really horrible week and I just need to moan. Mum has been fighting me over every little thing and I don't know how much longer I can hold things together.
The mum one of my friends recently passed away having been in a care home with Alzheimers for a couple of years, her funeral was on Tuesday and I really wanted to go to support my friend.
Tuesday is mum's luncheon club day. Normally I take her and collect her, but with the funeral timed for late morning I couldn't do both. Mum had been absolutely fine about going on her own. I booked a taxi for mum, confirmed where she was going with them and sorted roughly the correct amount for the taxi so that mum wouldn't have to find change. All was well.
Half an hour before I needed to leave (and 45 mins before mum was due to leave) mum did a huge u-turn. Mum said she did not go to a club on a Tuesday, never had, never would and I certainty couldn't make her. She told me I was a controlling b*tch, but I wasn't going to control her, she was taking the dog and going home to her mum.
I will be honest, I've read the compassionate communication thread, but it went out of the window. I was angry, frustrated and upset. There was no way I could go to the funeral. When the taxi came I took her to her club and she was as nice as pie to me in front of the others there. When I went to pick her up she asked me had I gone to the funeral? I said no and her answer was you probably blame me for that, but its your fault not mine. Mum can barely remember anything for more than a few minutes, yet she seemed quite aware of what had happened earlier.
That is just a taste of this week. I've been called a b*tch so many times. I'll suggest something, she'll agree it, then change her mind instantly and I'm taking over, controlling her and so on. I know people are dealing with much more challenging behaviour, but I'm having a really hard time not taking her nastiness personally. I know I'm meant to remind myself its the Alzheimers, not mum, but the nastiness is mum all over, just heightened.
I'm sorry, but its been a really horrible week and I just need to moan. Mum has been fighting me over every little thing and I don't know how much longer I can hold things together.
The mum one of my friends recently passed away having been in a care home with Alzheimers for a couple of years, her funeral was on Tuesday and I really wanted to go to support my friend.
Tuesday is mum's luncheon club day. Normally I take her and collect her, but with the funeral timed for late morning I couldn't do both. Mum had been absolutely fine about going on her own. I booked a taxi for mum, confirmed where she was going with them and sorted roughly the correct amount for the taxi so that mum wouldn't have to find change. All was well.
Half an hour before I needed to leave (and 45 mins before mum was due to leave) mum did a huge u-turn. Mum said she did not go to a club on a Tuesday, never had, never would and I certainty couldn't make her. She told me I was a controlling b*tch, but I wasn't going to control her, she was taking the dog and going home to her mum.
I will be honest, I've read the compassionate communication thread, but it went out of the window. I was angry, frustrated and upset. There was no way I could go to the funeral. When the taxi came I took her to her club and she was as nice as pie to me in front of the others there. When I went to pick her up she asked me had I gone to the funeral? I said no and her answer was you probably blame me for that, but its your fault not mine. Mum can barely remember anything for more than a few minutes, yet she seemed quite aware of what had happened earlier.
That is just a taste of this week. I've been called a b*tch so many times. I'll suggest something, she'll agree it, then change her mind instantly and I'm taking over, controlling her and so on. I know people are dealing with much more challenging behaviour, but I'm having a really hard time not taking her nastiness personally. I know I'm meant to remind myself its the Alzheimers, not mum, but the nastiness is mum all over, just heightened.