my oh said to my daughter you have been at work today havent yo ? she was horrified as she had been at home all day with us i said it is sunday are you confused he just muttered i thought it was monday and went very quiet this is a new developement !!!!!!
wrong day of week
- Thread starter tuffydawn
- Start date
Hello. I'm sorry to that this happened and you and daughter were unprepared.
You will want to learn better how to cope with your OH's changing circumstances. Confronting OH when an error has been made will only produce the result you got: silence. People who have dementia finally end up silent so as not to be "incorrect." I imagine you won't want that to happen.
You might benefit from reading a brilliant sheet on compassionate communication. Many many of us here have found it useful and return to it again and again for advice. Please read it. It will make your life now and in future more enjoyable. We have to learn to accept the new circumstances we face on a daily basis. This is a great way to start.
http://www.ocagingservicescollabora...te-Communication-with-the-Memory-Impaired.pdf
When something like this arises it's best NOT to correct. I think in the grand scheme of Dementia letting someone think it's the wrong day is not important. Your OH wasn't saying anything that would harm him or anyone else. That's how I learned not to correct or challenge. Anything for an easier, and consequently happier, life for your OH is probably the way to go.
Perhaps your Daughter could also learn to control her feelings when your OH comes out with such statements. I know it's difficult but a Dementia sufferer's emotions can still be hurt and kindness should be uppermost in these situations.
I hope you read the link that CJ posted. I'm not saying it's easy to adhere to by any means and I'm sure I failed on many occasions, but it can help.
The wrong day of the week
Early on with my husband's dementia he was having difficulty remembering what day it was. We now keep a large kitchen calendar and write what's going to happen on each day - and, important point, I always draw a vertical line through the day just passed so that it's easy for him to see where we are at. However, even then he can still forget again during the day. When he asks I just remind him as gently as I can making no comment on his forgetfulness. It also helps if a newspaper is around which has the day of the week on it (as long as you remember to throw away yesterday's one!).
Early on with my husband's dementia he was having difficulty remembering what day it was. We now keep a large kitchen calendar and write what's going to happen on each day - and, important point, I always draw a vertical line through the day just passed so that it's easy for him to see where we are at. However, even then he can still forget again during the day. When he asks I just remind him as gently as I can making no comment on his forgetfulness. It also helps if a newspaper is around which has the day of the week on it (as long as you remember to throw away yesterday's one!).
Hi, tuffydawn. It can be very startling or upsetting to hear some of the "mistakes" that a PWD (person with dementia) makes, especially when you're not expecting it or it seems like a new behaviour or development. I imagine you were surprised by his comment; I know I was often a bit shocked at some of things my mother (Alzheimer's and no short term memory) said before I knew about her diagnosis, and sometimes even now.
I wonder if any of the information here might be useful for any of you? https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200343
Here is a bit about memory loss: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=123
And this is about communication and has lots of good advice: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=130
More communication strategies here from the US Alzheimer's Association: https://www.alz.org/co/documents/communication_strategies.pdf
I wonder if any of the information here might be useful for any of you? https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200343
Here is a bit about memory loss: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=123
And this is about communication and has lots of good advice: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=130
More communication strategies here from the US Alzheimer's Association: https://www.alz.org/co/documents/communication_strategies.pdf
MIL usually has a daily paper so that helps sometimes, is an avid reader of her diary to keep track. ..we bought her a digital calendar I think for the AS shop which helps enormously,she was noticably lost for a week or so when we realised she had switched it off acidentally -she has always liked to be right about everything and this keeps ber still in control alittle... not so useful if soemone wants to test MIL memory staring with day month and year
She can see it at night so helps with time oreintation and is big enough to read even with her macular degeneration.
The digital clock, calendar isn't cheap but we used some of her AA.
She can see it at night so helps with time oreintation and is big enough to read even with her macular degeneration.
The digital clock, calendar isn't cheap but we used some of her AA.
My mother lives with us and I have 2 old laptops (one in her bedroom and 1 in the lounge) that display day, date and time. The app cost $10 - much cheaper than a specialist clock! I had them displaying the 24 hr clock which was fine until yesterday when she decided that 19:40 was 9:40 pm! Now changed to 12 hr clock.
I bought one of theses clocks for my dad who has vascular dementia, he was up at all times of the night, didn't know what day it was and whenever you asked him the time it was always 12 o clock!!! It wasn't a success for us unfortunately as dad always thought it was lying to him, many a row was had over it but I soon gave up arguing and just agreed with him in the end. Having said that a lot of people find them a huge help.
My Mum 75 with moderate Alzheimers was diagnsoed 2.5 yrs ago.
In recent months she has gone to forgetting what day it was, to not understanding hours, days, weeks, months.
Mum and Dad live in their own house in front of us.
We can all be home on the weekend, and my two children in their normal clothes ( they wear a school uniform) and my Mum will ask them if they have are going to school, and that I am late for work.
We can be home all day with the cars in the driveway, doors open, music playing, but if she hasn't seen us, she thinks we have gone out, or we are at work/school.
If you write on her whiteboard what days she has her Alzheimers groups, and she asks you what day it is, even if its a Saturday or Sunday, she thinks she has to get ready.
She was also waking early hours of the morning thinking it was time to get ready.
I downloaded a programme off a UK internet site and put it on an SD card, and on a digital photo frame, and it tells the day of the week and if its morning, afternoon, evening or night, plus a pic of the sun, moon etc.
For the first week it worked OK... But then it was if it was frighetning her.
She would wake in the morning and of course it would say the new day, and she said it gave her the fright of her life. Mum was also anxious over when it would change from morning to afternoon etc She told me it was driving her mad and getting her all mixed up, so I took it away.
When ever Mum asks what day it is, I tell her matter of factly and she accepts it.
Or even if she asks if we are gong to work etc, I say not today its Saturday.
Mum isn't upset over it, but I suppose other people could be, so you have to find what works with the least upset.
In recent months she has gone to forgetting what day it was, to not understanding hours, days, weeks, months.
Mum and Dad live in their own house in front of us.
We can all be home on the weekend, and my two children in their normal clothes ( they wear a school uniform) and my Mum will ask them if they have are going to school, and that I am late for work.
We can be home all day with the cars in the driveway, doors open, music playing, but if she hasn't seen us, she thinks we have gone out, or we are at work/school.
If you write on her whiteboard what days she has her Alzheimers groups, and she asks you what day it is, even if its a Saturday or Sunday, she thinks she has to get ready.
She was also waking early hours of the morning thinking it was time to get ready.
I downloaded a programme off a UK internet site and put it on an SD card, and on a digital photo frame, and it tells the day of the week and if its morning, afternoon, evening or night, plus a pic of the sun, moon etc.
For the first week it worked OK... But then it was if it was frighetning her.
She would wake in the morning and of course it would say the new day, and she said it gave her the fright of her life. Mum was also anxious over when it would change from morning to afternoon etc She told me it was driving her mad and getting her all mixed up, so I took it away.
When ever Mum asks what day it is, I tell her matter of factly and she accepts it.
Or even if she asks if we are gong to work etc, I say not today its Saturday.
Mum isn't upset over it, but I suppose other people could be, so you have to find what works with the least upset.
My dad has difficulty telling the time but only at night so his clock with hands says 1.40 but he is convinced it's 8.05 so gets up even though it's dark out
Tried a digital clock that doesn't work
Tried a digital clock that doesn't work
thank you for the link have handed it to my grown up children most clear info i have seen
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