I would appreciate help on this idea. T in respite this week. Am thinking about moving him into a separate bedroom when he comes home on Monday. Very restless during nights. Not really sure what to do.
Aisling ( Ireland)
I found it was less unsettling for John if I was the one that moved. I'd spent about 5 years anyway, clinging to the edge of our king sized bed, because he would thrash about so much, so I went for the comfort of the single bed in the next room.
That worked for a few years, till he started late night "cooking". This involved lighting the gas cooker and then putting a tea towel on it. After this happened a couple of times, I started sleeping on a 2 seater settee, opposite the kitchen door, because when John put the kitchen light on, it would wake me, and avoid a fire.
I spent 2 years on that settee, and only managed to get used to a bed again about 4 months ago!
I would appreciate help on this idea. T in respite this week. Am thinking about moving him into a separate bedroom when he comes home on Monday. Very restless during nights. Not really sure what to do.
Aisling ( Ireland)
I would love to move into a spare room but John misses me although he would never say so. Stoic Scot to the end! If I sleep in another room he comes looking for me if he wakes up whereas in the same room I can take decisions - anti itch cream, paracetamol, drink of water, instruction to go back to sleep said in firm schoolteachery voice - whatever it takes. In the long run it is easier to stay where I am.
Hi Aisling. I keep a bed made up in the spare room for nights when Mick is particularly restless or mutters a lot. He would find it much more unsettling to be in a different room so I go to the spare bed when needed. I guess it depends on the stage your husband is at and how familiar his room is to him when he returns from respite. Whatever you decide I hope it works out.
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I moved out of 'our' bedroom into the room next door because my husband had COPD and his heavy breathing and snoring kept me awake. I still heard him when he got up so could help him to the bathroom etc in the night (he never remembered that he'd had to get up and as far as he was concerned he always had a very good night). He wasn't too happy about it so, rather than say it was him, I said that I was worried I was disturbing him because I had to get up in the night to wee and let the dog out (you probably don't have that excuse!) and he agreed that it did disturb him. It took a while to get used to sleeping alone but eventually it was a big improvement. Hope it works for you and you get more rest. xxxxx
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Hi Aisling,
This is also a problem for us so after much thought the best option that works in our situation is a single bed directly next to our double bed .My hubby is in the single and has adapted very well .We are kind of still together but at least I get a restful sleep and am not worried about him in the night .Yes it is a bit of a tight fit but the single is on wheels and is easily moved for cleaning underneath.Its just another option.xxxx
I moved out of 'our' bedroom into the room next door because my husband had COPD and his heavy breathing and snoring kept me awake. I still heard him when he got up so could help him to the bathroom etc in the night (he never remembered that he'd had to get up and as far as he was concerned he always had a very good night). He wasn't too happy about it so, rather than say it was him, I said that I was worried I was disturbing him because I had to get up in the night to wee and let the dog out (you probably don't have that excuse!) and he agreed that it did disturb him. It took a while to get used to sleeping alone but eventually it was a big improvement. Hope it works for you and you get more rest. xxxxx
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This rang such a bell with me, cos John too had COPD, with a snoring decibel to wake the dead. He also had sleep apnoeia (not sure about spelling), and would fling himself about so much, and have such violent dreams. I once woke to find him trying to strangle me, because he thought I was an enemy soldier that he'd been dreaming about!
We can all only do what works best for us in our own individual cases.