Bank still sending post to mum

[karen1967]

Hi just posting in the hope that some one has had this problem and managed to do something about it.
Sorry if I do not explain it very well I will try my best.
Mum took out some loans, we think at the start of her Alzheimer's a couple of years ago, but since she know lives with use in our family home we have took over her payment, as in made them smaller so it is more affordable, we have P.O.T and some of the loan company's have been very help full once we explain we do want to carry on making payment but just want them making lower.
Mum gets so upset when we try and talk to her about what we did over the loans cos in mums world she is not in debt and never has being, its so sad when it upsets her so much.
Anyway we organized that all post should come in our name and mum signed to say we could speak on her behalf ( why they asked us to do this I have no idea as we had already said she had Alzheimer's) but we did as asked that we didn't need to send the one and only copy of the POT. we did this but not long after a letter come addressed to mum and I was out so she opened it, well it wasn't fun when I got home as she was so upset and the allegations started. The bank said they can not stop this post going to mum as its law to send it to who took the loan out. My point is they have the POT and mum has a mental illness so to save the upset should they not just sent it to us like we asked in the first place.
Dose the POT not mean they should do as we have asked due to the illness mum has, its not as if she understands what they send but it dose upset her.

 

[nitram]

I think you need to escalate the problem within the bank.

If you PM me the name of the bank, I'll see if I can find out how to contact the CEO.

 

[karen1967]

Hi thanks for that Nitram but I did a reply to you only to get a message saying I can not do PM due to not having posted enough posts yet, will save what my reply was so I have it to send you. Even this has upset me know as I thought this site was here for people to help each other and advice on what experiences they have had.

 

[Beate]

1. POT? Do you mean POA - Power of Attorney?
2. Of course the loan company will need to see proof so because you weren't prepared to send a certified copy (why not? They can send it back), they asked for your mother giving you permission to speak on your behalf.
3. I don't know banking rules enough to say whether it's procedure to have to send correspondence only to the owner (and it's still her loan), but have you thought about redirecting her mail to you and only popping back the inoffensive letters?
4. If your mother still had capacity when she took out the loan, she'll have to pay it back but lenders have to take her mental health issues into account. If she took out a loan after losing capacity, it would be void in the eyes of the law and repayment would, as far as I know, be unenforceable, as no one without mental capacity can legally enter into a contract.

 

[Izzy]

Karen this site is here so people can help each other and I'm sure you will find lots of help and support. Once you have made 10 posts you will be able to send PMs to people.

Take care.

 

[nitram]

Karen
If you acknowledge Izzy's post and post a new word on http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/show...e-a-letter-in-five-game&p=1214511#post1214511
you will have the requisite 10 posts.

EDIT
Merging of threads caused one of your posts to be deleted, this means that you now have to make 3 more posts before you can PM. Choose another thread like http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?68247-What-are-you-watching

 

[karen1967]

1. POT? Do you mean POA - Power of Attorney?
2. Of course the loan company will need to see proof so because you weren't prepared to send a certified copy (why not? They can send it back), they asked for your mother giving you permission to speak on your behalf.
3. I don't know banking rules enough to say whether it's procedure to have to send correspondence only to the owner (and it's still her loan), but have you thought about redirecting her mail to you and only popping back the inoffensive letters?
4. If your mother still had capacity when she took out the loan, she'll have to pay it back but lenders have to take her mental health issues into account. If she took out a loan after losing capacity, it would be void in the eyes of the law and repayment would, as far as I know, be unenforceable, as no one without mental capacity can legally enter into a contract.

Yes sorry I do mean POA.
I was not going to send it through the post and they had said I could scan it and e mail it to them, them they said I couldn't, then someone said I could and gave me an e mail address, only to get one back saying the document was to big, it was me that said for me to take it into a branch and they could e mail and copy the POA.
As for the loan and when it was taken out we think she had already started with this illness but nothing was confirmed till recently. So wouldn't be able to prove anything. she dose not do her own banking we do it and like I say she doesn't know when or why she took the loans out, so can not deal with any of them. We have complained but had no full reply as yet. We have been told she could go bankrupted and not pay them back at all by the RBL but we do not like that idea at all.
The main comes to our house as mum lives with us, but they will not put our name on the post that is upsetting her.
So they have POA then tell us that's it but yesterday more was needed, plus they say post will still be sent to her no matter what her mental capacity.
I just feel its wrong when we are paying and have being allowed to set up the payment.

 

[Onlyme]

If you can't get around the problem might having a locked mail cage or a locked mail box outside your door be the answer?

 

[Kevinl]

I'd remind them that if the debts were taken out after she had dementia you could apply to have them written off completely see what they say to that
K

 

[LadyA]

Bureaucracy! I used to have the same problem with the memory clinic sending appointment letters to my husband. He didn't understand them, so he'd either put them in the bin, or I'd find them weeks later in his drawer. Fortunately, I had an idea when to expect them. Finally, although they said that as he was the client the letters HAD to go to him, they arranged to text me when they wrote to him. But in the end, because other post was also going missing, I did as onlyme suggests and got a locked mailbox on the outside wall of the house, and gave strict instructions to the postman that all mail had to go in the box.

 

[karen1967]

If you can't get around the problem might having a locked mail cage or a locked mail box outside your door be the answer?

Yes that's a good idea, I didn't think of that , thanks. I have been to peoples homes with those locked boxes, Thanks again

 

[karen1967]

I'd remind them that if the debts were taken out after she had dementia you could apply to have them written off completely see what they say to that
K

Thank you for your reply, this is something I tell them each time I have to get in touch with them, but they were ok to set up the new payment through us, that gets my goat a bit. I do understand they need to know we are who we say we are but could they not have asked for what they wanted in the first place. Its the messing about that upsets me on top of how they refuse to stop sending said post to mum. When I organized how to get the POA to them I asked if there was anything else they needed, they said no, I could have filled this second form in and sent them ID while sending the POA.
I didn't mind them having the POA it was the post I didn't trust not to loose it, but was upset at how I had to come up the situation.
Do you think when we try and sought out or loved ones things any one at the other end of the phone even understand that we are doing so so they can still have their money. I do not

 

[karen1967]

Bureaucracy! I used to have the same problem with the memory clinic sending appointment letters to my husband. He didn't understand them, so he'd either put them in the bin, or I'd find them weeks later in his drawer. Fortunately, I had an idea when to expect them. Finally, although they said that as he was the client the letters HAD to go to him, they arranged to text me when they wrote to him. But in the end, because other post was also going missing, I did as onlyme suggests and got a locked mailbox on the outside wall of the house, and gave strict instructions to the postman that all mail had to go in the box.

Wow I would have thought the memory clinic of all places would understand some of the problems we face , but that line that the post has to go to whom it is meant to is a good one when the one it is meant to go to doesn't get it. brill they are all made and do not use their common sense.
The box with a lock is a good idea but did he not give you upset when he wanted to know why there was a lock on the letter, we will from mum. she will want to know why, and we may have to explain why every day, then I know we will get do you think I am gar gar, as she has a bad stigma to Alzheimer. something from her upbringing I am afraid.

 

[karen1967]

Karen this site is here so people can help each other and I'm sure you will find lots of help and support. Once you have made 10 posts you will be able to send PMs to people.

Take care.

I didn't mean to come across as being rude . its just some one was willing to help and I couldn't PM them. Due to not having enough posts. I would have thought most lines of help come from PMs. But that's for the advice

 

[Flake]

If your Mum has no assets then a Debt Relief Order could be an answer for her. She must have debts under £20,000 and the cost would be £90. Stepchange Debt Advisory service could help with this. Should her circumstances change (i.e. a lottery win, or inheritance) within the first year then this has to be disclosed to the Insolvency Service and taken into account against all creditors. After a year all debts are written off and there is no liability. I would challenge these debts as if your Mum did not have full capacity, as Beate has already said, she could not enter into legal contract.

 

[karen1967]

If your Mum has no assets then a Debt Relief Order could be an answer for her. She must have debts under £20,000 and the cost would be £90. Stepchange Debt Advisory service could help with this. Should her circumstances change (i.e. a lottery win, or inheritance) within the first year then this has to be disclosed to the Insolvency Service and taken into account against all creditors. After a year all debts are written off and there is no liability. I would challenge these debts as if your Mum did not have full capacity, as Beate has already said, she could not enter into legal contract.

Thank you for your reply, this is interesting, but how would I prove mum had already started with this illness, if I needed to. We didn't bother getting anything confirmed so to speak till a couple of months ago, as in getting something in writing, we did have a text done while she was in hospital once but that was after she took the loans out. Mum had a heart attach and it was then that we found out he had heart failure, she had one form of dementia from this as well as the on set of Alzheimer's but it is after her heart attach that she took these loans. Maybe that's what I need to use to do what you have suggested.

 

[LadyA]

Wow I would have thought the memory clinic of all places would understand some of the problems we face , but that line that the post has to go to whom it is meant to is a good one when the one it is meant to go to doesn't get it. brill they are all made and do not use their common sense.
The box with a lock is a good idea but did he not give you upset when he wanted to know why there was a lock on the letter, we will from mum. she will want to know why, and we may have to explain why every day, then I know we will get do you think I am gar gar, as she has a bad stigma to Alzheimer. something from her upbringing I am afraid.

Fortunately, no. William thought the box was a great idea, so if we were out, no-one could steal the letters!