When Dad's cat died
I thought I'd share the experience of when my Dad's cat died.
My Dad (88) has mixed dementia which - touch wood - has remained relatively static since diagnosis early last year. He still lives at home with support.
He was devoted to his cat of 13+ years and my sisters and I often said that we hoped Dad passed before the cat did, as we weren't sure how he'd handle it.
But a few months ago, one Sunday morning when I was staying over, Dad shot into my bedroom in the morning, distressed because he'd found the cat on the floor and she couldn't move properly. We nursed her all day - she spent most of the day on dad's lap and there were lots of tears.
Come Monday, I contacted a vet - explaining the situation, including telling them about Dad's dementia. The vet couldn't come to the house - we had to go to the surgery. I asked Dad if he wanted me to take puss on my own, but no, he wanted to come too. So off we went, puss on Dad's lap. At the vet's, he stayed in the car with puss until the vet was ready to see us.
As expected, the vet felt the best option was to put puss to sleep. She talked to Dad all the way through, and he made the decisions. I was confident that, in the moment, he knew exactly what was happening and it was right that he was able to make the choices - not being there when she was put to sleep, cremation, no return of ashes, etc
Dad was very upset - not surprisingly. (Me too!) But, looking back, his involvement really helped the grieving process and the memory that his beloved cat was no more. He only once 'forgot' - and that was when he woke up from a sleep after we got back from the vet.
I was worried that Dad wouldn't remember longer term and would be out looking for his cat - but no, he's always retained the core memory of what happened i.e. puss is no more, even if all the detail has gone. He has a lovely photo of her beside his chair and will still talk about her, 'tho less so in recent months.
Obviously, every PWD is different - but thought I'd share how we ended up handling the death of a beloved pet. I didn't plan it, just took one step at a time depending on how Dad was.