Hello everyone
I posted a new thread about driving yesterday and my aged mum and received loads of support and lovely suggestions of applying shed loads of wine and chocolate liberally which I have taken to with gusto. I am still recovering from my mother's blistering attack over the telephone about a letter from the DVLA.
I am beginning to have an insight into the challenges of this dreadful disease and I now realise that we are only at the first post.
This morning I had three voice mail messages from mum asking where I was and that she had not seen me for ages (I last saw her on Sunday) so, with some trepidation and I called in to see Mum today and she was absolutely fine, her old self in fact. We chatted about this and that (mostly her old friends from about 20 years ago but I am used to it and have learnt to go with the flow). It was a great, just like old times and she was so different from this angry woman yesterday. She talked about the letter from the DVLA and has come to terms with the fact that she may not able to drive. My brother has agreed to help her fill the medical form in but he tells me that he will not lie on her behalf. He is having to do a 200 mile round trip to visit and get the form done for her. I have tried to persuade him not to do it but he says that there is no evidence that she has got dementia and understands her need for independence so no support there, even though he totally agrees with me.
What I find so tortuous is the damage that it does to me afterwards when Mum is so nasty and horrid (which I have never seen before). I could not sleep last night because I felt so bad. Today, I feel great because mum is okay and friendly.
I try to remember that it is the disease talking not mum and I try to not think too much about the future but I do find mum's mood swings quite hard to deal with.
Both my brother and me are constantly reminding mum of different dates and times because she cannot remember anything. I have now taken to writing things down for her but she loses the bits of paper.
I was wondering if anyone could tell me, in their experience, how long this stage lasts for (bearing in mind mum's advanced age) and what I can expect to happen to mum over the next few months.
What will happen once mum is diagnosed? What is the criteria for mum staying in her home? At what point do we have to decide about carers, care home?
Mum has deteriorated badly over the past few months, quicker than I expected.
When I went to see mum today she was wearing a jumper with stains on it. Mum normally dyes her hair but she has let it go and it is now growing through white.
Any advice or support would be gratefully received.
Regards
Mrs C
I posted a new thread about driving yesterday and my aged mum and received loads of support and lovely suggestions of applying shed loads of wine and chocolate liberally which I have taken to with gusto. I am still recovering from my mother's blistering attack over the telephone about a letter from the DVLA.
I am beginning to have an insight into the challenges of this dreadful disease and I now realise that we are only at the first post.
This morning I had three voice mail messages from mum asking where I was and that she had not seen me for ages (I last saw her on Sunday) so, with some trepidation and I called in to see Mum today and she was absolutely fine, her old self in fact. We chatted about this and that (mostly her old friends from about 20 years ago but I am used to it and have learnt to go with the flow). It was a great, just like old times and she was so different from this angry woman yesterday. She talked about the letter from the DVLA and has come to terms with the fact that she may not able to drive. My brother has agreed to help her fill the medical form in but he tells me that he will not lie on her behalf. He is having to do a 200 mile round trip to visit and get the form done for her. I have tried to persuade him not to do it but he says that there is no evidence that she has got dementia and understands her need for independence so no support there, even though he totally agrees with me.
What I find so tortuous is the damage that it does to me afterwards when Mum is so nasty and horrid (which I have never seen before). I could not sleep last night because I felt so bad. Today, I feel great because mum is okay and friendly.
I try to remember that it is the disease talking not mum and I try to not think too much about the future but I do find mum's mood swings quite hard to deal with.
Both my brother and me are constantly reminding mum of different dates and times because she cannot remember anything. I have now taken to writing things down for her but she loses the bits of paper.
I was wondering if anyone could tell me, in their experience, how long this stage lasts for (bearing in mind mum's advanced age) and what I can expect to happen to mum over the next few months.
What will happen once mum is diagnosed? What is the criteria for mum staying in her home? At what point do we have to decide about carers, care home?
Mum has deteriorated badly over the past few months, quicker than I expected.
When I went to see mum today she was wearing a jumper with stains on it. Mum normally dyes her hair but she has let it go and it is now growing through white.
Any advice or support would be gratefully received.
Regards
Mrs C