I couldn’t post last night as I was sooo wound up.
Briefly... MIL has lived with us for 5 years and we have been caring for her for 6 years, husband has an invisible brother who visits around Christmas time for about an hour, never even calls or emails in between.
OH & I have POA for both finance & health. MIL has a house which OH cleared, supervised structural work in, fitted new bathroom, decorated and carpeted before organising the rental. All with NO financial or physical help from invisible. We have had the same tenants for 3 years and they have been great. They have said that they won’t be renewing the lease in Feb as they are going abroad to work & live.
So, OH sends email to BIL telling him this and asking him to have some thoughts about selling up at this time as MIL needing more care that has to be paid for (day care & respite) and although she has a good income through pensions it would not cover the fees if she did ever need to go into full time care.
House is owned half by MIL and half by trust set up when FIL died. Trust is supposed to be run by the 2 brothers & MIL for benefit of MIL in the first instance.
Unfortunately the deeds show that the house is jointly owned by MIL & invisible (as head of trust) so we do need his help to sell.
OH had conversation with BIL last night and he’s shocked that it’s come to this and is coming down next weekend to examine accounts and to see that we’re telling the truth about how MIL is
He’s going to be a bit unlucky on the accounts side, I know we’ve stuffed up there and haven’t kept brilliant records, very sporadic. No excuse is really acceptable but we have struggled with MIL, living apart whilst he did up house etc etc and the last thing on our mind was record keeping. I know that we are being honest and fair to Mil and that she couldn’t have wanted for more in the past 6 years.
I am so angry with BIL, he who doesn’t care enough about his Mum to find out if she is ok or offer any support is now bothered as money is concerned. My anger last night turned to being really upset that BIL cares so little for his Mum. How dare he question our care of her.
I have decided, having spent a long time talking to a friend last night, that I have to stay out of this and allow the 2 brothers to sort it out. Not gonna be easy and I think I’ll have to go out when he and his wife come as I just want to stand behind the front door with a baseball bat. (I’m not normally a violent person!)
Apart from venting the above I wonder if anyone knows, and they probably do as this is such a wonderful place for help and support about the following.... If BIL won’t sell up and we have, in the future, to put MIL in full time care would SS put a charge on her half of the property?
My head is swimming with different scenarios and I guess that what I really want to know is that we will have a choice in the future. My health hasn’t been good this year and I don’t want to feel that there isn’t an alternative should the need arise. Thank goodness that at the moment I’m feeling much better physically.
Briefly... MIL has lived with us for 5 years and we have been caring for her for 6 years, husband has an invisible brother who visits around Christmas time for about an hour, never even calls or emails in between.
OH & I have POA for both finance & health. MIL has a house which OH cleared, supervised structural work in, fitted new bathroom, decorated and carpeted before organising the rental. All with NO financial or physical help from invisible. We have had the same tenants for 3 years and they have been great. They have said that they won’t be renewing the lease in Feb as they are going abroad to work & live.
So, OH sends email to BIL telling him this and asking him to have some thoughts about selling up at this time as MIL needing more care that has to be paid for (day care & respite) and although she has a good income through pensions it would not cover the fees if she did ever need to go into full time care.
House is owned half by MIL and half by trust set up when FIL died. Trust is supposed to be run by the 2 brothers & MIL for benefit of MIL in the first instance.
Unfortunately the deeds show that the house is jointly owned by MIL & invisible (as head of trust) so we do need his help to sell.
OH had conversation with BIL last night and he’s shocked that it’s come to this and is coming down next weekend to examine accounts and to see that we’re telling the truth about how MIL is
He’s going to be a bit unlucky on the accounts side, I know we’ve stuffed up there and haven’t kept brilliant records, very sporadic. No excuse is really acceptable but we have struggled with MIL, living apart whilst he did up house etc etc and the last thing on our mind was record keeping. I know that we are being honest and fair to Mil and that she couldn’t have wanted for more in the past 6 years.
I am so angry with BIL, he who doesn’t care enough about his Mum to find out if she is ok or offer any support is now bothered as money is concerned. My anger last night turned to being really upset that BIL cares so little for his Mum. How dare he question our care of her.
I have decided, having spent a long time talking to a friend last night, that I have to stay out of this and allow the 2 brothers to sort it out. Not gonna be easy and I think I’ll have to go out when he and his wife come as I just want to stand behind the front door with a baseball bat. (I’m not normally a violent person!)
Apart from venting the above I wonder if anyone knows, and they probably do as this is such a wonderful place for help and support about the following.... If BIL won’t sell up and we have, in the future, to put MIL in full time care would SS put a charge on her half of the property?
My head is swimming with different scenarios and I guess that what I really want to know is that we will have a choice in the future. My health hasn’t been good this year and I don’t want to feel that there isn’t an alternative should the need arise. Thank goodness that at the moment I’m feeling much better physically.